middle voice

what i’ve learned (so far) while not working

2012-01-10T09:48:00.000-08:00

In late November 2011, I resignedfrom my full-time position as president of a small career college inPennsylvania. I made the decision to do this because I wanted to be back in theAtlanta area to be closer to family. It has taken longer to get relocated thanI had anticipated, however, so I’ve had a lot of time on my hands.

I’ve watched a lot of television:

There are at least 18 different pills you canorder direct from the manufacturer (but can’t buy in any store) that will allowyou to lose a lot of weight without making any changes to your diet or exerciseroutine. Many of them have “miracles” attached to them. Clearly they workbecause each advertisement is accompanied by photos of women (and a few men) backwhen they were fat and right now, wearing their skinny clothes. Typically, theylooked sad and pale and wore tan colored clothing when they were fat. But nowthat they are miraculously skinny, they smile a lot and wear primary colors.Although I am a few pounds heavier than I should be, I can’t see spending moneyon these pills, even though it is exciting to think that I could lose weightwhile sitting on my ass in my recliner eating bacon, lasagna and ice cream.
Medicare is not enough. I know this because supplementalinsurance is offered by multiple companies. The spokespeople sound very urgentand the seniors who tell their stories are very compelling. I will not beeligible for Medicare for quite some time, but I am glad that I have thisadvance warning about the inadequacy of Medicare.
There are some amazing kitchen gadgets outthere. Usually, you can get two, even if you only pay for one. Interestinglyenough, many of these gadgets have “miracles” attached to them too. I’m notsure how often I have managed a miracle while standing in my kitchen preparingdinner, so maybe one of these gadgets would help. But again, since I currentlyhave no income, I can’t justify spending the money on a gadget, no matter howmany miracles it can perform.
If I fall down, I will regret that I am notwearing a button around my neck with which to summon an emergency responseteam. It’s always interesting to me how young and handsome emergency responseteam members are when they are portrayed on television, both in commercials andon television dramas. Clearly, if this were true, I would buy that button rightnow and begin summoning teams of good-looking, muscular men right away. But Iknow this is just a ruse. I’ve seen emergency response teams in real life. Theylook just like … well … me.
That actress from Glee, Jane Lynch, is in a lotof television commercials. I deduce from this that she is a very intelligentwoman. She knows her time in the spotlight is probably limited and she isputting money in the bank any which way she can while she has the opportunity.I like her, but I really hate her commercials. She is entirely too perky fordaytime television.
It is possible to watch three or more televisionprograms simultaneously. When I grew weary of commercials for diet pills,Medicare supplemental insurance, kitchen gadgets and whatever Jane Lynch wasselling, I started changing the channel as soon as the commercial came on. Ifound that I could find at least one other good program to watch until theprogram on the original channel came back on. The only problem was thatsometimes the commercials overlapped and I found myself watching a third showand maybe even a fourth. Unfortunately, I found that when I got up to four, Isometimes forgot what the first show was. I remember getting caught up in DogThe Bounty Hunter, 48 Hours and A Baby Story and completely forgetting that Iwas watching House Hunters International. I never did see which house in theDominican Republic that couple selected. I would have gone with the one withmultiple views of the ocean and the open floor plan.

Other than television, I have alsospent a good deal of time on my computer.

Minesweeper is still fun. I had forgotten allabout this game! (8, 46 and 184. I know that isn’t great. It’s been a while!)
The people who play World of Warcraft during theday are very different from the people I have been used to playing with on theweekends. In general, WoW players fall into several categories. There are pre-adolescentboys who play extremely fast, wiping out monsters and enemies left and rightwhile I’m still trying to figure out what the objective is. (These boys alsoget carried away with the anonymity of WoW and say and do some spectacularlystupid things, then can’t back down to save their lives. I’ve witnessed somebrutal verbal take-downs when they get into an altercation with an adult whohas no empathic understanding or memory of what it’s like to be a 12 year oldmale.) There are adult male computer geeks who play WoW every minute they arenot doing essential things like earning a living. These are the two groups Ihave been used to playing the game with on weekends. But the people I play withduring the day are different. There are a lot more female players during theday. And there are older people playing. Although they are still primarily men,the testosterone levels are a lot lower. This can be a good thing when you aretrying to all get along in a group. But it also means there are fewer kamikaze playerswho generally lead groups and get everyone through difficult times. So – fewer fights,but more situations where everyone gets wiped out.
Facebook is actually a wormhole.
Stumbleupon.com is a really neat tool forfinding interesting stuff. Sure, you have to click through some crap, but youwill eventually be rewarded with something that will make your eyes grow wide.It will be something that you would never have seen no matter how many moredecades you occupied space on this planet. And you will be glad that you keptclicking.
Spotify has taught me that I have missed out onsome really spectacular music because I was listening to my Ipod. Three songsin particular (so far) that I have found that are just amazing – Creep byRadiohead, Come Pick Me Up by Ryan Adams and Wake Up Alone by Amy Winehouse. (Youngerpeople reading this are shaking their heads because these songs are already “old”.)I’m just amazed that I allowed myself to miss good music. I am a musician, forPete’s sake. (I wonder who the heck Pete is?) I realize that I’ve allowedmyself to gradually fade away from my musician days. So one of my resolutionsfor living in Atlanta is to find some people to make music with and to golisten to live music.

A few other random things:

The United States Postal Service employee whoservices my building gets very angry if I let a week’s worth of mail pile up inthat little box downstairs. I know this because he happened to be in the lobbywhen I went down to get it one time. He delivered a stern lecture about howcritically important it is to notify the post office when one is going to beout of town. When he was done, I briefly considered making up a story about avery sick neighbor for whom I was collecting mail, but decided that he really justneeded a hug more than he needed an undeserved guilt trip. I didn’t give himthe hug, though. He was carrying a huge ring of keys and I wasn’t sure exactlyhow on edge he was. I did not want to meet my demise in the lobby of thisbuilding.
My cat sleeps a lot.
My apartment still needs cleaning almost as much todayas it did six weeks ago. I always used work as an excuse for not having theenergy to clean. I was too tired to clean, I told myself. Clearly, my faceshould be next to the word SLOTH in the dictionary. (I started to useABLUTAPHOBIA there, but it includes a fear of bathing, which I do not have. AndI can’t really claim to be afraid of cleaning.) I have done some cleaning,certainly more than I did over the last year. But there is still much to bedone. But at least my toilet is white again. I need to step it up so I’m notstuck doing everything at the last minute after the movers come.
Time passes very slowly when you don’t doanything. I worked for the same company for just over nine years and it feelslike it was three years. I’ve been out of work for six weeks and it feels likesix months. It’s amazing. The European countries that have 3-6 weeks ofvacation really know what they are doing. My body is more relaxed today than ithas been in decades. I believe that the American work ethic is sick and it’smaking Americans sick. I have no idea what the solution is. But I can clearlysee the problem now. I was blind to it while I was working my butt off.
I haven’t read nearly as much as I anticipated Iwould. I am surrounded by books that I have not read. But I haven’t finished asingle book in the six weeks I have not been working. I’ve done more writing,however. I’ve also composed some music.
I’ve rediscovered my cookbooks. I really, reallylove to cook. One of the things I am most looking forward to in Atlanta ishosting dinner parties for family and friends. Atlanta friends, hold me tothis!!!

Well, that’s it for now. I’ve gotto get back to the television. They’re having a Law & Order marathon onA&E and I don’t want to miss it. Have a great day! Or, if you’re stillworking, have a great ten minutes!

Fifty-three

2012-01-07T10:45:00.000-08:00

Sixteen wants love
Sixteen has been absorbing stories
about love
about being complete
about looking cute & sexy
about making music
Sixteen first meets you

Nineteen has dreams
Nineteen has been absorbing experiences
about love
about betrayal
about success
about learning
Nineteen falls in love with you

Twenty-one runs away
Twenty-one has no clue what she is doing
about life
about a future
about decision-making
about what to do with all this EMOTION
Twenty-one thinks about you from afar

Twenty-seven is married & pregnant
Twenty-seven is full of excitement
about the world
about the tiny life inside
about the husband who soothes and comforts
about helping those in need
Twenty-seven isn't even thinking about you

Thirty-two means a new divorce
Thirty-two means recovery
from painful reality
from a broken heart
from the need to control everything
from the expectation that love could fix anything
Thirty-two is answering the phone to hear your voice for the first time in 11 years

Forty-five's heart dances with excitement
Forty-five believes that FINALLY out of chaos will come deliverance
from part-time love
from never being sure of where a heart stands
from on again, off again, on again, off again bullshit
from being on the outside looking in
Forty-five is wrong, but doesn't know it yet and embraces you upon your arrival

Fifty is leaving
Fifty is determined to make a life
with joy
with financial security
with outward focus and inward strength
with warmth
Fifty is walking away from you, with one eye glancing over a shoulder

Fifty-three rests
Fifty-three takes stock and creates a new path
of freedom
of giving
of listening to God's voice
of metamorphosis
Fifty-three feels your hand trying to grasp the back of my shirt

estate

2011-12-31T16:17:00.001-08:00

My heart is open
Real estate, available,
For rent or to own

www.oneword.com

clamp

2011-12-24T13:25:00.000-08:00

My soul has a clamp
It keeps me from telling truth
My lover guesses

www.oneword.com

Grand D

2011-10-29T18:55:00.000-07:00

She remembered how Grand D would keep his big hand wrapped around the remaining deck while he carefully considered the solitaire tableau before him. He played deliberately, breathing in a way that she could hear him from the other side of the room where she sat on the round hooked rug, playing with her paper dolls.

"Hmph," she would hear him say before dealing out the next three cards in a careful fan. His blue sweater smelled like mothballs when she went over to kiss him goodnight, Grandmother holding tightly to her hand as she guided her over to his side. "Well, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite." He didn't smile big because he didn't have his teeth in.

He cheated. He would shuffle the deck when he wasn't winning. She didn't know it was cheating then, only later after he was gone.

But she remembered.

Her pink pajamas were soft and smelled like the sunshine and the salty air coming up from the ocean. She had seen them hanging out on the line that day. There was sand in her bed and Grandmother swept her hand across the sheets once, twice and three times. But she could still feel a little down below her toes when she stretched her leg all the way out.

She went to sleep smelling the cigar smoke that drifted in her window. Grand D always smoked a cigar at night, sitting out on the screened in porch with his glass of brandy. His best customers sent him boxes of cigars when a deal went well. She never got tired of watching him open the boxes. He always looked so excited. Watching him made her dance a little with her own excitement.

Mama woke her up when they came in from the dance. "Alice, dear, we're back. I wanted to give you a kiss." Then Papa came in too. "Let the girl sleep, dear." And then she was asleep again. Maybe she just dreamed it?

In the morning there was oatmeal that Grand D had soaked in milk overnight. It was creamy with big, plumped raisins. Grandmother added a little brown sugar. "Do you want to go swimming today, Alice?" But she didn't. She wanted to play with her paper dolls. How beautiful they were! There were costumes for fancy parties and hats to match. There were play clothes and different shoes. She talked for the dolls, walking them through different scenes, each with a little something that was scary, from which the dolls would always be rescued.

At nap time, Grand D read her a story about a blue balloon and its travels across the world. Alice dreamed about Africa, with its wild animals. But she wasn't frightened. In her dream, she rode a lion and talked with zebras and the zebras talked right back. Grand D told the story so well it was alive in her dream.

Now Grand D was gone, but she remembered.

She remembered.

strawberry fields forever

2011-10-19T09:44:00.000-07:00

United Healthcare declined to cover the cost of anesthesia during the extraction of my #15 molar. As a result, I was offered nitrous oxide as an alternative. I asked questions. Will I still feel pain? No, we will also use Novocaine. The nitrous oxide will relax you. Will I remember? Yes. Do people have allergic reactions? No. Okay, let's do it.

Back went the chair. On went the mask. Breathe deeply through your nose. Try not to talk because it will take longer for it to take effect. Okay. When did you last eat? This morning. What time? 9 a.m. What did you eat? Peanut butter toast and coffee. I thought I wasn't supposed to be talking? Okay, breathe deeply through your nose.

I don't feel anything. I like that radio station. How are you feeling? Fine. Ohhh, what is that? My arms feel really heavy. I can feel my breathing. My heart is racing! Calm down. Strawberry fields forever. How appropriate. In. Out. Whoaaaaaaaaaaa. I want to jump out of the chair and run out of the room. Calm down. They will never know you are feeling whacko if you don't say anything. Is this normal? Should I feel this way? Or am I going insane and just think I'm okay? Are you doing okay? (Nod.) Open. Open wide. Wider. Good. Again. Wider. Annnnnnnnd. There we go.

Is it over? Wow, that was easy. Hmmm. In. Out. Big breath. Strawberry fields forever. How long have I been here? Each song only lasts three minutes. That's the same song, isn't it? I love the Beatles. John Lennon. I feel psychedelic. Giggle. Did I just giggle out loud? Opening one eye: Who is that sitting there? Oh, she's monitoring me to make sure I don't die. That means it isn't over. Oh, you fool, that was just them giving you the Novocaine. They haven't even started yet. Giggle. Did I just giggle again? She must think I am high. At the church. I'm bringing a covered dish. I have to have it ready for the 6 p.m. What? Ohhh, what is that? I can feel my hair growing. Why do they keep talking? Do they know how talking sounds & feels to someone on nitrous oxide? They should shut up. No talking, except about the procedure. I just got off the phone from xcrs7yt (unintelligible). She asked me p9sx63#nw (unintelligible). Can you believe it? (Everyone laughs.) Why are they talking about other patients in front of me? That is unprofessional. And it freaks me out a little. What will they say about me after I leave? Am I a good patient? I wish they would shut up. SHUT THE F UP. Did I just yell that? No, I just imagined it. This is taking FOREVER!!!!

How are you doing? Are you feeling a little funny? Oh, yeah. It's the 60's over here. (Everyone laughs.) Okay, let's see what we've got here. Open. Open wide. Open. Okay. Little pressure. Good. Suction. This is weird. How many people are in the room? Am I still in the little room where I started? What if I stopped breathing right now? Would they save me? Can I trust these people to save me? They laughed at that other patient. Daddy is out in the waiting room. What would he do if they told him that I stopped breathing? He might have a heart attack.

Open. Wider. Lot of pressure now. Okay. Good. Wow. Look at that root. Let me ... let's put this chair back a bit more. Can you see that? Yes. That is something. I have long roots. I think I remember hearing that before. Got it. Good. Wow. Strawberry fields forever. I need to work on my presentation for Phoenix. Do NOT start thinking about work right now. No matter what you're doing, you're always thinking about work. Whoa. I feel floaty. Floaty. Floaty. Floaty. Did they pull the tooth? Was that the tooth being pulled? I think the tooth is gone. Good. Oh, I like that song too.

Okay, let's get this laser fired up. No. That's it. Okay, open, let's put a little gauze there to protect your teeth. Bite down. There you go. Good. Gag. What is that smell? That is the smell of my flesh burning. Gross. Annnnd ... all done. You'll feel a little hole in your lip. It'll fill in. We'll send that off for a biopsy, but I expect it will be just fine. I can stick my whole tongue in the hole in my lip. I hope it doesn't look weird. Nothing could look more weird than that thing that was on my lip. I hope it isn't cancerous. What if it is? What if I've been working all of these years so I can have a happy retirement and then I get lip cancer and die? Can you die from lip cancer? Probably. Especially if you wait for almost two years to get something checked out!!! Stop it. Do not yell at yourself.

Now we'll just give you straight oxygen and you should feel a little more normal soon. I can not imagine feeling normal. Okay, you did real good. Laurie is going to go over your aftercare and we'll see you back here next week. Whoa, I feel really funny. I'm standing, but I feel like I floated into this standing position. Should I be up already?

I'll walk you out to the reception area. Loooooooooonnnnnnnng hallway. It's like that scene from Willie Wonka or Alice in Wonderland. I still feel pretty loopy. Do you want to sit in recovery for a while? No, I'm good. Teenagers tell us they like it. Okay, here you are. Susan can check you out. That will be $100 for the nitrous oxide and we'll send the rest to your insurance company. Let me just get your prescription for Vicodin. Look at all the colors on the file labels. The room is small, but laid out just right for the number of people in it. How long have I been standing here? Here you go and you can go right through that door there.

There's Daddy! Are you done? (Nod.) Can you talk? Yes. Ready to go? Yes. How was it? Weird. I feel floaty. Let's go home. Okay. Thank you for bringing me Daddy. You're welcome, my dear.

epiphany, scintilla, gambol, mondegreen

2011-10-16T03:27:00.000-07:00

Does every writer have a love of language? Or are there writers that just write, without any thought of the beauty of the individual word? I love the sound of some words.

Epiphany

My parents were both Methodist ministers, so this word first existed in my life as a day in January on which Christians celebrate the manifestation of Jesus as the Son of God. Throughout my childhood, we listened to the recording of Gian Carlo Menotti's Amahl and the Night Visitors, the opera that tells the story of a young boy whose home is visited by the three kings who are following the star to the manger where the baby Jesus waits. It was so exciting to imagine each scene as it unfolded.

Later, the word took on a broader meaning for me as I began to read the great authors and noticed that main characters in novels often had an epiphany that would change the course of the story and/or would signal some change in a person's willingness to continue on an existing path. I can remember thinking that I had a choice about each step in my life.

But I love the word most because of the way it sounds in its spoken form. It is an elegant word and one that would typically only be known to someone with some education. Hearing someone use the word would signal to the listener that the speaker was in touch with a thought process that existed slightly above the fray of daily living. I love that moment in conversation with a new acquaintance when it becomes clear to me that the person is a thinker and a reader.

Scintilla

Courtroom dramas often feature someone uttering the phrase "without a shred of evidence". The first time I heard the phrase "without a scintilla of evidence", I instantly understood the meaning. It made me smile, because I love coming into contact with a new word. I often do acrostic puzzles and I love it when this word is included.

Scintilla feels like a feminine word to me because it sounds curvy. So it's appropriate that one of the X-Men female characters is named Scintilla. You won't have heard of her unless you are a comic book reader or collector. Scintilla had the power to shrink herself, which came in handy during battle. (Where'd she go?) She served as a member of the Imperial Guard in the Shi'ar Empire.

I-Scintilla is a band out of Chicago, Illinois that offers up a driving beat and loud guitar riffs, coupled with a gyrating female vocalist who is prone to heavy make-up and tight clothing - just the thing for young males who enjoy listening to electric-techno-rock. I am NOT a fan of this genre of music, but even I have to admit the appeal of Prey On You, the lyrics of which sketch the story of a leader who leads with lies. I wonder who ...

Gambol

I can't decide whether this word sounds like it is moving because I already know the meaning or whether it is similar in nature to words like gallop or cruise or tumble, which each sound like the movements they describe. The image that comes to mind when I hear this word is that of a grown person skipping & dancing about in a merry fashion, without a care in the world and without a single worry about how he looks or how he is being perceived. I fairly hear the "la-la-la" singing that must accompany the movements.

But of course there is more. Gambol was also a powerful character in the Batman comic series. He was a crime lord in Gotham City, leader of a Black mob. You may remember Gambol as the character who the Joker holds a knife to as he tells the "why so serious" story, explaining how he got the scars around his mouth that create his signature grimacing smile. EEK!

Gambol is also a lesser known game application for the iPhone or iPad which features a ball-shaped critter navigating courses and obstacles. It is similar to Sonic the Hedgehog, but not nearly as awesome in my opinion! It has not achieved the fame of Angry Birds, for instance. Chances are you haven't even heard of it!

Mondegreen

And now we get to my favorite word, although it isn't the actual word that appeals to me this time. This word doesn't trip off the tongue like the previous three words do. It is the meaning of the word that carries the delight for me. It describes a word or phrase that is misheard, often to comic delight. The origin is from a 1954 essay written by American writer Sylvia Wright, who coined the term based on a poem she had misheard as a young girl. When her mother read her the poem, which featured the phrase "and laid him on the green", she heard "and Lady Mondegreen". So she proposed this new word to describe situations in which we mishear poetic verse, which later included song lyrics.

One of the most famous lyrical examples of which you will no doubt be aware is from the song "Blinded by the Light", which features the phrase "revved up like a deuce", which has famously been misheard as "wrapped up like a douche". I absolutely remember sitting with friends, playing that part of the song over and over again, discussing it and giggling. Then there was also the famous Jimmy Hendrix lyric that was misheard by so many. He sang "excuse me while I kiss the sky" and many people heard "scuze me, while I kiss this guy".

There are so many other words that I love, but I will stop here. What are your favorite words? Why?

brick layer, cake maker, indian chief

2011-10-13T04:38:00.000-07:00

Years ago, I imagined that I would retire at the age of 50-something, then embark on a journey that would call on me to do a different job every year. I would start my new job on January 1st or 2nd of each year with the plan to work until the end of the calendar year. For some crazy reason, I thought I wanted to spend one of those years as a bricklayer and one in a bakery shop. I have no idea why those two jobs popped in my head, but there they were and there they have stayed.

My plan included a fantasy to write a small book about each experience, which would lead to a book series, which would lead to appearances on Conan and Letterman (never Leno, although let's face it, I would so do that show if it was the first one to come calling). Naturally, the publicity would lead to increased sales which would end up where all of my fantasies end up - with me not having to work for a living.

At the rate I am going now, I will be working until I drop into a grave. There will be no bricklaying. (I'm sure a bricklayer would read this and think - she really thinks she could learn bricklaying in one year?) Also, one day working under a blazing sun would probably lead me to run as fast as I could in the opposite direction from bricklaying.

But a girl can dream, can't she?

ch-ch-ch-changes

2011-10-12T04:10:00.000-07:00

My friend Alice is trying to make a major decision in her life. She wants to stop working, but really can't afford to do so, unless ... she lives in a double wide trailer in a 55+ community. She is not the type to live in a trailer, but she can't stop thinking about it.

"Wouldn't it be wonderful," she asks me, "if we could use our days to help others? I'd be the youngest person living there. I could really make a difference in the lives of the people around me."

"But how would you pay bills without an income?" Naturally, I am stuck on the idea of how I would eat without income. And how will she survive without the Internet? Cable?

"I can cut back on food. I survived college with next to nothing to eat. And my daughter will have me over for dinner every now and then. And the clubhouse is wired for Internet. I could carry my laptop over there every day. And do I really need HBO?"

No HBO??? This is survivalist mentality. I'm trying to be supportive, but the thought of missing Boardwalk Empire ... is that a fair trade for not working?

"You could buy the unit next to mine. We could have a lot of fun!"

Hmmmm

cheney's new book

2011-08-29T05:57:00.001-07:00

I love, love, love this reader's comment following an article about Dick Cheney's new book:

_______________________________________________________________

Title of the book should have been:

"Dick Cheney -- a shining beacon of brilliant foreign policy strategic planning and all-around righteousness, filling the dark void of Washington ineptitude and cowardice" ... an objective, non-revisionist tome by that bastion of patriotic selflessness, Dick Cheney.

Available in the discounted fiction aisle wherever petty, vindictive hubristic autobiographies are sold.

ScienceGuy-356641

irene and joy

2011-08-28T16:43:00.000-07:00

We all hunkered down in our homes to ride out the storm: I, in Eagleville, PA; my sister in Hoboken, NJ; and my father & stepmother in Allentown, PA. Irene came in softly at first, raining lightly for hours and hours on Saturday. That night, the winds blew, but not too badly.

I kept updating my Facebook wall. Friends posted messages of prayer and support that made me feel less worried. Many of my former students are now in their thirties and forties, with children of their own. A very few even have grandchildren! Keeping up with their lives brings me so much joy.

I went to bed at about 10 p.m. Saturday night and woke up during the night feeling sweaty and hot. I looked at the clock and realized that we had lost power. I tossed and turned for almost an hour, worrying about how I would cope without electricity and wondering how long it would be off. With no power, the lack of air conditioning caused the 100% humidity to steam up the place. I couldn't open the windows because of the rain. I listened to the wind softly singing and was glad it wasn't worse.

The power came back on at around 3:30 a.m. I turned the lights on and got up to celebrate. CNN was re-telling all of the accumulated stories of the storm, from North Carolina to Maryland. The network anchors also talked about all of the things that could go wrong in New York City. They played tapes of Mayor Bloomberg's speeches about the evacuation and preparation. My goodness, he really can talk and talk and talk! CNN said very little about Pennsylvania. I finally went back to bed at 6:00 a.m.

At 9:00 a.m., my cat, Joe, decided it was time for me to get up and started pestering me. I lasted 30 minutes and was defeated at 9:30 a.m. I knew there was a good chance that the Schuylkill River had flooded during the night because it had done so twice in the 13 months I have lived here. But I wasn't super concerned because it had never reached my building. So I actually started coffee, fed the cat and fixed breakfast before I went out on the balcony to look.

What I saw when I did finally look still boggles my mind. The water was very high and very deep and was much closer to my building than I had ever seen it. I got out my camera phone and started taking pictures. I ran up to the loft to check my email and found one from the apartment manager. She indicated that the river would not crest until 2 p.m.

I called my family. Everyone was okay. My sister's street in Hoboken was flooded and she had no power, but she was fine. All morning, I checked on the progress of the Schuylkill every 30 minutes or so. I could not believe how quickly it continued to rise. I wasn't worried since I live on the 5th and 6th floors, but it was amazing to watch!

I checked on various members of my management team. Everyone was fine. The river finally crested at almost 4 p.m. Thereafter, every time I peeked out, the water got lower and lower. I stopped worrying.

At 5:24 p.m., the welcome news came that one of my co-workers had given birth to a sweet baby boy, 8 pounds, 7 ounces, 21 inches long. Baby Chase had arrived! Wonderful excitement. They even sent me pictures! I quickly forwarded them to the whole management team. Excited responses came back from everyone.

What a wonderful end to a rather stressful two days!!! In the moment, as I celebrated the birth of that new baby, I thought what a wonderful example of the highs and lows of life these 48 hours had been: the anxiety of the approaching hurricane; the fear that accompanied the loss of power; the adrenalin that came with my first look at the flooding; the relief at seeing the waters beginning to recede; and the sheer joy that bubbled up with the news of Chase's birth.

Then, a few minutes ago, my phone rang. It was my older brother calling me from Rochester, New York. He had just been talking to our mother and she mentioned that we had survived Irene, so he called to check on me. My brother is a bit of a recluse and has probably called me less than ten times in the last thirty years. Usually, if I want to talk to him, I have to call him! So hearing his voice was a real balm at the close of this stormy weekend!

I feel so grateful to be alive and I feel so blessed by family and friends. No matter what happens, something joyous is just around the corner, waiting, giggling secretly, knowing it will make me smile and laugh. I look forward to all the times that joy will visit me in the future!!! I hope that you do too!

list of titles

2011-08-21T16:15:00.000-07:00

I haven't been able to trace the origin of this meme, but the idea is to bold the titles I have read and italicize the titles I have not read.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible (I certainly can't claim I have read every word. I've read quite a bit!)
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare - read some, but not others...
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth.
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt.
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

single at 52

2011-07-17T09:46:00.000-07:00

What I think I look like:

What I really look like:

Who I want to attract:

Who I really attract:

maybe tomorrow

2011-06-26T11:49:00.000-07:00

You know, I will never get used to being a slob. It is almost 3 in the afternoon and I haven't even finished laundry in order to pack for my vacation. There are other things I really need to get done. And yet ... not doing them!

I'm lazy when it comes to cleaning and straightening. I live alone and I just don't care all that much. I know that my spirits are brighter when my surroundings are clean and clear. But making myself do anything is hard.

Maybe tomorrow ...

leaving room

2011-06-06T04:03:00.001-07:00

When I give my coffee order, I ask the person pouring to "leave room at the top", so I can add sweet cream to the coffee. We are peculiar creatures when it comes to coffee. Each of us learns to like it in a unique way. Some of the orders I hear when I'm standing in line at Starbuck's leave me shaking my head in wonder. Are they successful because their coffee is good? Or are they making millions by nodding their heads in approval to every weirdo who has a specific coffee order that requires a multitude of syllables to request? By handing over a cup of coffee made to the exact specifications of the patron, aren't they saying, "Pay no attention to anyone else, you are NOT weird, you are UNIQUE."

Well, I like cream in my coffee - or half & half - or milk. There is nothing more depressing than to be stuck with 2% milk when stirring up a cup of coffee. You can put in a quart and you will never achieve that perfect coffee color and flavor. I love cream. So I leave room at the top. When I get coffee from McDonald's or Burger King, I am usually in the drive-thru. As soon as I am away from the building, I roll down my car window and pour off the top inch or so of coffee so I can add the cream.

I was reflecting this morning that there must be a similar "leaving room at the top" for life. As Americans, we are often guilty of over-scheduling our lives, especially if we have school aged children. We work hard and we take care of other people and we forget to add the cream - the moments that are just for us. Or if a moment presents itself, we are too tired to take advantage of it!

I hereby resolve to pursue the cream in life! How about you?

what do you have to teach me today?

2011-06-05T04:20:00.000-07:00

WARNING for my readers who don't like cuss words OR who are religious to the point of intolerance towards religious beliefs that are different from your own OR who are squeamish about body parts & bodily emissions: You should skip this blog entry! Don't say that I didn't warn you.

This morning, I was watching a wonderful documentary called "Everest Rocks", which chronicles a 14 day trek through Everest country to benefit The Nepal Cancer Relief Society. The trekkers were cancer survivors from various countries and musicians such as Mike Peters (The Alarm), Slim Jim Phantom (The Stray Cats), Glenn Tillbrook (Squeeze), Nick Harper (legendary UK folk artist), Cy Curnin and Jamie West-Oram (The Fixx) and local Nepalese artists. The documentary was produced by Alex Coletti (the acclaimed producer of MTV’s ‘Unplugged’ series).

The documentary detailed not just the trek, but the personal stories of the trekkers. And at each stop, the guitars came out and various musicians performed well-known pieces from their careers, as well as other songs, known and unknown. The Nepalese Sherpa and porters clearly enjoyed the music. Scattered throughout the documentary is, of course, the spectacular scenery. Wow! There are several serendipitous moments during the trek, where you feel the hand of God (or some may say Fate) on the shoulders of the trekkers - or on the shoulders of people they meet along the way.

I was particularly moved by the stories told by the cancer survivors. A common theme was "getting through it", taking one step at a time with a determination to survive. One woman spoke of seeing her cancer as a blessing from God. Each speaker spoke of survival in different terms, depending on his or her religious beliefs (or lack thereof). This was particularly moving to me because I have always been very relaxed about multiple people believing different things and have always been deeply offended by religious groups that demand that their way is the only way. Here, I thought, was a bird's eye view of my thoughts - different people handling the difficulties that came their way - with the widest possible variety of belief systems, all going through this trekking experience together. It made me smile!

As I was watching the documentary, my old cat (Joe) was sitting in my lap. At one point, Joe jumped down to pursue whatever was next on his agenda. I glanced down and spotted something on my pants leg. I leaned over to get a closer look. It was a tiny piece of shit, which must have come from Joe's hindquarters. GROSS!!!!! I grabbed the bottom of the pants leg so I could lift up that portion without touching it, limped into the bathroom and deposited it into the toilet. Joe's litterbox is in the bathroom, so I also noticed that I needed to police it, which I absolutely HATE doing. Then I went to my bedroom to change my pants! As I changed pants, I was muttering to myself that this is the LAST animal I will ever have because I am sick of dealing with shit!!!

But the recent viewing of that documentary on cancer survival inspired me to change direction with my thinking. EVERY relationship and EVERY circumstance comes with some shit! I changed diapers for my son - shit. I clean litter boxes - shit. I walked my dogs - shit. And what about metaphorical shit? My boyfriend is always late - shit. My mother is never satisfied with my choices - shit. My brother is a recluse - shit. A friend over-reacts to everything - shit. My boss questions my decisions - shit. My car won't start - shit.

So, initial logic would guide you to avoid shit. But maybe the answer is to welcome it. Because without it, life isn't happening. And since we know that shit can also be fertilizer, maybe we look at each appearance of shit to guide us to new growth. Welcome, shit, what do you have to teach me today??? I know, I'm crazy again. But since I have already learned to embrace my lunacy, I'm going with this! (But that doesn't mean I won't be checking Joe's hindquarters the next time he jumps up to sit in my lap.)

Namaste!

fire train

2011-05-19T21:59:00.001-07:00

Betty Ann

Fire train rumbles by, waking me up from a dream about a dog. That dog was crying cause he couldn't find his supper dish. He was rooting around the kitchen floor, sure he had it there a while ago, but now it was gone. His mournful little whine was the sound of my dream, slipping rapidly away as my eyes come open.

I don't have a dog.

My nightgown is sticking to me, like my hair to my forehead. A full moon lights up the bedroom and I see that Frank hasn't come back yet. I look at the wind-up clock sitting on the table. It's 12:11 a.m. Well, maybe he went to drink some beers with his buddies. That's alright.

The smell of something rotten drifts into my nose. I should have taken that garbage out back. I sit up, swing my legs over the side of the big brass bed and feel around the floor for my slippers. My right foot finds a slipper. Now where is - there. I stand up, feeling an ache in my lower back. I lay one hand against my lower back and dig in a bit with my fingers as I shuffle through to the kitchen.

Sure enough, that smell is last night's fish supper. The heat has gotten to it and it's smelling up the place. I draw the bag up out of the plastic trash can and pull the ties to close it up tight. I tie those in a knot and open the back door. Out on the porch, I listen as the last of the train clanks around the bend and fades away. The big outdoor trashcan is just a few steps away and I head that way with the bag. I'm setting the bag down in the can when I see him.

He's taken a folding lawn chair and carried it down to the side of the lake. I can't tell if he is sleeping or just sitting. I call out to him, quiet-like. "Frank?" He doesn't move. I take a few steps in his direction. I speak a little louder. "Frank?" He turns his head towards me. "Hey, Baby." He reaches out a hand to me, beckoning me to come closer. I walk towards him. When I get there, I take his hand and he squeezes, but he is staring out over the water. He's still dressed in the clothes he had on when he left the house a while ago.

"What are you doin out here, Frank?" I ask him, worried he's still angry about the words we exchanged at the supper table. It was a stupid fight and I'm sorry that I brought the subject up at all.

Out on the lake, a fish jumps up and splashes back into the water. Maybe the moon has fooled that fish into thinking it's daytime. Frank pulls me over until I'm standing in front of him. A welcome breeze blows lightly across our bodies. The night sounds are all around us. I hear a dog barking way away from us. Is that why I was dreaming about a dog? Frank looks at my face and smiles. "I love you.", he says, and I watch as one tear leaks out of the corner of his eye and slides down his face.

wear pink!

2011-05-03T15:51:00.000-07:00

There were over a thousand women in the room at the Atlantic City Conference Center. We came in every possible size, shape, age, stage of life, career, etc. We were all there to attend the 2011 New Jersey Governor's Conference for Women.

I ate my continental breakfast with two women I was meeting for the first time because I had not yet located the five work colleagues I was meeting up with at the conference. We shared information and chatted about what had brought each of us to this event. In a lull in the conversation, I marveled at the sound of all of those women's voices. It was such a beautiful sound to me. Women are so powerful and strong, I thought. I smiled.

Our speaker at the breakfast was Kim Guadagno, Lieutenant Governor of New Jersey. Her message for the day was "wear pink". I'm still not sure what she was getting at. She also told us to wear high heels. Apparently when she was a Sheriff, she was told that she really shouldn't wear pink or heels and it got on her nerves. Maybe she was trying to tell us to be true to ourselves and to be feminine, even if we were in traditionally male roles? Anyway, she was cheerful for an early morning speaker!

I found my colleagues and we spent a few minutes looking over the program, deciding who would go to what session and chatting about work. All five of these women are strong and caring people. We all have very different personalities. But we all care about our students and are very loyal to our company. It was a joy to spend even a little bit of time with them. I know that they would do anything for me and I would do the same for them! What a wonderful feeling!

My first session was entitled, "Release the Entrepreneur Within". There were three speakers and a moderator. The speaker who REALLY stood out was Barbara Smith O'Neal, Regional Director of the New Jersey City University Small Business Development Center. Barbara clearly knows what she is doing and did a marvelous job outlining some of the more important aspects of starting your own business. (Full disclosure: I really misunderstood the intent of the workshop, probably because I did not read the description! I was expecting a talk about keeping your entrepreneurial spirit alive despite the fact that you may be working for someone else. Clearly, I was mistaken! I have no desire to open my own business!!! That is hard!)

The best speaker of the day, at least for me, was Trisha Meili. She is the woman who came to be known as "The Central Park Jogger" in 1989 after she was brutally attacked while out for a run in Central Park. This session was entitled, "Resilience". Every chair in the room was filled and many people (including me) sat on the floor or stood along the walls. Trisha started us off with some breathing exercises, which was an interesting touch. (It made me want to investigate meditation.) After that, she simply told her story and the many blessings she had encountered along the road to recovery from her injuries, both physical and emotional. Hers is an incredibly inspiring story. She tells it in a soothing voice that is very easy to listen to.

Our luncheon speaker was the amazing Star Jones. I was prepared to dislike her based on how she has been presented on this season of The Apprentice. I should have known better than to trust any edited image on television. She was very humble, but she made it clear that she has high standards for herself and for others. Star spoke about reinventing yourself when the need arises to do so. She called it "Plan B". She spoke about women's remarkable ability to bounce back from adversity or disappointment. She used examples from her own life. I really appreciated her message. And yes, she alluded to the troubles she had with NeNe! It was pretty funny, actually.

My last session was "Retirement Can Work For You!". Again, I should have read the description. This session was about NOT retiring!!! People are living to be much older these days and often start whole new careers after they retire from the first one. I cannot imagine anything worse!!! I didn't stay the whole time.

All in all, it was a great experience! I hope to return next year.

There was one embarrassing moment. (How could I avoid it???) I caught the heel of my right shoe on the hemline of my left pants leg and fell on my butt in front of my colleagues! Leave it to me. They hoisted me to my feet and I shook it off. But hours later, I am really feeling where parts of my body made contact with the sidewalk. Ouch! I'm worried that I am going to be even more sore tomorrow. Time will tell!

osama bin laden is dead

2011-05-02T04:14:00.001-07:00

From the comments section on a CNN report of Osama bin Laden's death: It wasn't him. We need to see a picture. Obama interrupted Celebrity Apprentice on purpose to make Trump mad. Obama is making the whole story up to try to get re-elected. Obama had nothing to do with this victory. It's suspicious that they 'buried' him so quickly. Obama is taking credit for what the military did. We want a DNA test result. Etc. Soon, Trump (or Palin or Bachman) will be suggesting a conspiracy theory - or simply an anti-Obama message - that will echo some or all of these ideas.

I never cease to be amazed at some people's need to demonize or minimize our sitting president. It seems that there is nothing he can do that is right. Often, these are the same people who suggested that criticism of Dubyah was 'unpatriotic' because we were at war and we should all support our president when we are at war. Right. Now, it's patriotic to disagree with the sitting president because we are in America, where we can freely disagree!!!

I'm glad that Osama bin Laden is dead and buried. I'm proud that President Obama gave the order to take him out. I'm proud of the Navy Seals who pulled off this mission, and the many service men and women who put their lives on the line every single day. I'm proud to be an American!!!

the nesting dolls

2011-04-03T12:28:00.000-07:00

The oddest items, events or scents can trigger powerful memories of my childhood in Nishinomiya, Japan. The family was home on furlough when I was born in 1958 and we returned to Japan in 1959 when I was about ten months old. I'm told that I learned to walk on board the ship as it crossed the ocean. Maybe that's why I don't get seasick?

Sometimes it is as simple as hearing the Japanese language spoken. Hearing it makes me smile. I spoke fluent Japanese as a small child. My English, however, was atrocious. That created problems when we returned to the States - more about that later.

Today, the trigger for memories of Japan were some kokeshi (Japanese wooden dolls). I came across them as I unpacked one of the last boxes I brought to Pennsylvania in late July. These kokeshi were painted red and green, one nesting doll set was boys, the other was girls. The Japanese celebrate Boy's Day, which is coming up on May 5th, and Girl's Day, which just passed on March 3rd. There are many, many boy/girl doll sets in Japan.

The dolls I came across this morning were nesting dolls, which means if you opened one up, a smaller doll was inside. As I handled them, the old paint flaked off just a bit. This flaking of paint made me feel very tender inside. I immediately had the thought that my own paint was starting to flake a bit too.

Sometimes I wonder how much of my personality was shaped by those early years in Japan. Yamada-san was an older Japanese lady who lived in a small house attached to our slightly larger house. Her adult daughter and grandson lived there with her. Yamada-san took care of me, her grandson and my sister. All three of us were born within the same 10 month period, so it was like having triplets, I'm sure. How did she do it? She fed us Japanese food. To this day, the scent of soy sauce or the taste of ginger brings a warm, satisfied feeling to my soul. She must have loved us very much.

I put the dolls on the secretary where I could see them every day. They'll make me smile, I know, each time they catch my eye.

ready for spring!

2011-02-17T04:03:00.000-08:00

The heat didn't kick on during the night and I felt no need to bump up the thermostat when I woke up this morning. Could this be a sign of impending spring-like activities? Punxsutawney Phil did say that we can expect an early spring. Oh, I hope that is true!!!

snow delay

2011-01-21T18:43:00.000-08:00

This morning, I got up at about 4:15 a.m. so I could begin the process of determining whether I should close my campus for the day, have a delayed start or just open as usual. I have employees and students who must be at the campus by 7:00 a.m., so I try to make the decision no later than 5:15 a.m. This gives me time to record a message on our Inclement Weather Hotline and contact the local television and radio stations. Getting that done early allows the commuters to avoid driving to the campus, then turning around and driving home.

Here is my process:

Step One: Turn on the television and check the three major networks and the weather channel to hear the weather reports and see if there are any school closing reports. This morning, the news reports indicated that all public schools were delayed and that main roads were pretty clear, but the secondary roads were still dangerous. I knew right away that we would open, so now the decision would be whether to have a delayed start or not.

Step Two: If possible, get in my car and drive to the main road, which is about a half mile away from my apartment building. This morning, the snowplow had not gotten to my section of the complex. But I could hear the scraping noise of the plow, so I walked around the side of the building and watched as the plow made a long, slow first pass in front of the long building next to mine. It was quite a sight. There was a beautiful spray of snow that flew up through the air on either side of the machine, so it looked like it was snowing again. He actually stopped the machine when he was close to me and got out to make some kind of adjustment. I waved to him and he came over. I asked him when he thought I might be able to drive up and look at the highway. He said he would clear a path for me next. I wanted to ask if I could ride in or drive the snowplow, but I instantly had a fantasy photo montage in my head of me driving the snowplow over a row of cars and into the Schuylkill River. Maybe not.

Step Three: Back inside, I climbed the stairs to my loft where my office is. I started up the computer and checked myfoxphilly.com to see what all of the other private colleges were doing. This morning, all that were listed were announcing delays, most until 10 a.m. The University of Phoenix was actually announcing an 11 a.m. start.

Step Four: Compose message for Inclement Weather Hotline. I always type this on my computer and read it into the phone when I call to record the message. That way, it will sound smooth and I will only have to record it once. But I don't record it yet. I want to consult with colleagues first.

Step Five: Text my counterpart at my sister school in Cherry Hill, New Jersey. We like to compare notes and we typically take the same action. This morning, she was having an in-service, which meant a later start with no students in the building. I was on my own this time.

Step Six: Drive up to the highway. I just like to look at Highway 422 to see how the road looks and to see how many cars are out there on the roads. This morning, 422 looked pretty good. The plows were still clearing, but cars were beginning to get through.

Step Seven: Check myfoxphilly.com again. This time, more schools had posted delays. I made the decision to go ahead with the delay.

Step Eight: Text my supervisor with my decision. This gives him an opportunity to weigh in on my decision. This morning I waited a while, but did not hear from my supervisor. It was getting close to 5:30 a.m., so I went ahead with the delay.

Step Nine: Call Fox news and go through the automated process to announce our delay. Usually this takes a while because everyone is calling in at once. I usually get a busy signal the first 3-5 times I call. This morning it was more like 7 times! But I finally got through.

Step Ten: Call our own Inclement Weather Hotline and record a message. This morning, I changed my message slightly because our students got a little confused last time.

Step Eleven: Call all managers, just as a courtesy. This is not strictly necessary, since we have the Hotline, but I like to do it just to make sure. Some of them like to call their employees, so I call them to let them know.

At this point, it is about 5:45 a.m., sometimes closer to 6 a.m. I am wide awake, so I go downstairs to make breakfast. That first cup of coffee is wonderful after all of this activity.

I have to say that this is a process that I absolutely HATE. I would love to abdicate the decision to someone else, but that really isn't an option. It is really impossible to make everyone happy. A closure or delay makes some people happy and other people furious. NOT closing or delaying makes some people happy and other people furious. It is simply a no-win situation. And no matter what you decide, multiple people always step up to question your decision and tell you that they would have done something differently. But then, that is the description of all leadership decisions, I suppose! But I will admit that it is very hard to listen to the criticism of any snow day decision! It makes me want to punch people in the nose! I always think that if they knew what I go through that they would just shut up!

All over the country, there are school administrators that are faced with this decision when there is bad weather. I truly sympathize with them, especially public school (K-12) administrators. They get the worst feedback. Like me, they simply can not make everyone happy. But again, it goes with the territory.

But let's end on a beautiful note. Here is a lovely photo of the Schuylkill River in the snow. This is the view from my apartment complex. Isn't it gorgeous? It makes me hate snow just a little less - but not much!!! Stay warm, everyone!

Martin Luther King, Jr. Day

2011-01-16T13:14:00.000-08:00

In 1985, I accepted a job as a Human Resource Technician, Sr., at a mental health center in South Georgia. My job was to meet with mental health clients and make an assessment as to how they were doing on their current regimen of medication. There were four of us at the mental health center; a woman who served as the center director, a woman who provided day treatment activities, a woman who performed secretarial duties and me. All three of my co-workers were natives of the small South Georgia town.

On Tuesdays of each week, I conducted intake appointments with brand new clients. Theoretically, we had an M.D. on staff, but in truth we had a retired, hard-of-hearing, elderly doctor (age 91), who really depended on us to diagnose and determine starting dosages of the psychotropic medicines available at that time.

I had a great big Physician’s Desk Reference (PDR) on my desk, along with a Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM). I was given a list of the most common psychotropic drugs and told how to determine starting dosages for the most common mental disorders. I would meet with a client and run through a barrage of questions designed to determine what their problem was. Sometimes I had a little information before I met with them. (“Johnny exposes himself to the grocery clerks at the Piggly Wiggly. He says Jesus tells him to do it.”) Sometimes I didn’t know a thing.

After I had met with the client, I would go to see the doctor. I would present the information I knew, in a very loud voice, along with a suggested diagnosis and a suggested medication and starting dosage. The doctor would say, “That sounds fine”, and then he would sign my case notes in the client’s file and sign the prescription that I had written up.

All of this seemed very reasonable to me. Years later, when I was working on my graduate degree, I realized that I could have killed someone, or that a misdiagnosis or an inadequate dosage could have caused the client to go do something terrible, which could have caused harm to someone or to themselves. But I didn’t think about any of that at the time. I was just following directives given to me by the director. It didn’t occur to me that she might be being stupid herself. She was a LOT older than me and had been working in the mental health field for a long time. She seemed very confident in my abilities and I stupidly allowed her confidence to persuade me that all of this was quite normal.

I was so unconcerned about what I was doing that if I had talked about my 15 months working there any time within the first two years following my departure, I would not even have mentioned the fact that I was diagnosing patients without the benefit of any training beyond a Bachelor of Arts in Social Work. No, what I would have talked about is Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.

You see, the three women I worked with at the mental health center all used the N-word with ease. To them, all African-Americans were called the N-word without hesitation. They weren’t angry or being combative when they used the word. That was just what they called people who were African-American.

My parents raised their children to believe in the equality of the races. They worked very hard to ensure that we understood the importance of race relations and they made sure that they taught us to be keenly aware of racism and the insidious nature of inequality. By the time I was working at this mental health center, I had lived in North Carolina, Japan, Massachusetts and Georgia. I had spent quite a bit of time in Virginia as well. I had seen racism and I had heard people say shocking things and I had seen people do shocking things.

But these three women purported to be professionals in the field of mental health. So I was shocked! I made a critical error when I spoke up about how I felt. I specifically asked that they not use the N-word around me ever again. I said that I was deeply offended and would appreciate their cooperation. But they saw me for the unarmed, inexperienced woman that I was. My request simply incited them to do everything in their power to annoy and offend me.

That brings me to the Martin Luther King Jr. holiday of 1987. My boss told me that although that Monday was a holiday, that they would all three be coming to work and that I needed to be there too because it was a stupid thing to be taking a day off to celebrate the birthday of that n!&&@$. The other two women laughed when my boss said this to me. I summoned up enough courage to say that I would not be in and not to look for me. They harassed me up until the minute I left the office that Friday afternoon. “See you Monday!”, one of them yelled out as I exited the building. I could hear them laughing behind me.

Like I had on so many other days, I went home and cried on my husband’s shoulder. I was five months pregnant with my son and I’m sure my hormones were a wreck, but the situation created enormous stress. I would cry and cry when I got home. Then we would fix dinner, eat, watch TV, and then go to bed. I would wake up during the night and cry some more. This pattern continued for the entire length of my pregnancy.

I didn’t go to work on that Monday. Instead, I attended the MLK Day event at a local university. The speakers focused on perseverance and doing right and God’s expectation that we treat each other with dignity and respect. Sitting in that auditorium, in the midst of men and women who were celebrating justice and good, I felt so empowered and comforted. My battle was such a small one. I knew that I would survive and that things would get better for me.

Things did get better. My healthy son was born three weeks early in April. I used all of my sick leave and all of my vacation time. Then I quit. I was never so happy to leave a job, before or since! Within the next six months, I started a new job at that same local university where I had attended the MLK event. I would be working with high school students, many of whom would go on to be the first in their family to go to college. Those students lifted my heart almost every day. Many are still my friends today.

So, for me, MLK Day is symbolic of embracing the lessons of the past, both small and global, and letting my heart be filled again with the hope that there will be better days ahead. This lesson never ceases to be fresh for me. I need to learn it over and over again! So I thank Martin Luther King, Jr., for teaching that lesson to me. Happy Birthday, Dr. King!

Martin Luther King, Jr.
by Gwendolyn Brooks

A man went forth with gifts.

He was a prose poem.
He was a tragic grace.
He was a warm music.

He tried to heal the vivid volcanoes.
His ashes are
reading the world.

His Dream still wishes to anoint
the barricades of faith and of control.

His word still burns the center of the sun,
above the thousands and the
hundred thousands.

The word was Justice. It was spoken.

So it shall be spoken.
So it shall be done.

western union

2010-12-31T12:07:00.000-08:00

So, today I tried to send money to a friend via the online Western Union process. Let me see if I can list some appropriate words that would all fit into a description of my experience:

Debacle
Fiasco
Rip-off
Frustrating
Annoying
Time-consuming
Unsatisfying
Infuriating
Catastrophe
Unfortunate

I could go on.

So, this is what happened:

I went on the Western Union website to see how to send funds to someone. My first step was to set up a profile. When it asked for my phone number, I entered my cell phone number, because that is the number I use for everything.

I then set up the payment, entering my friend's name and the city. Then I entered my bank account information. When I clicked on the button to complete the transaction, I got a new screen that instructed me to call their customer service number.

I called the number provided and spoke with a woman who was very difficult to understand. She was speaking very fast and I don't think English was her native language. I tried to understand what she was telling me. It had to do with my phone number. They needed to call me to verify that I was really me. I told her that we were speaking on the phone that she would need to call me on, so I didn't see how that would verify my identity. She explained, but I couldn't understand. I asked her to slow down and pronounce each word carefully, but she made no change to her speech. Finally, I asked to speak with a supervisor. She put me on hold and I waited. There was no hold music or anything else to confirm that I was on hold. I kept looking at my phone to be sure I was still connected. Then there was a click and when I looked at the phone, I saw I was disconnected.

I called the number again and got a different person. I gave her the transaction number and she looked it up and told me that the transaction had been canceled because my identity could not be identified. I asked her if there was any way to re-activate the transaction. She told me no, that I would have to start over again. I thanked her and hung up.

Back on the website, I entered a new transaction. This time, when I clicked on the button to finalize the transaction, I got an error message. I called customer service again. This time, I got a third agent. I explained what was going on. She indicated that my phone number needed to be a land line that was listed in my name at the address I had indicated for myself in the transaction. I gave her my land line. She asked me to hold. When she came back, she indicated that their third party verifier could not verify my phone number. I asked what that meant. She said either my number was not listed OR the address was different. While still keeping Western Union on the line on my cell phone, I called 411 on my home phone and asked for a listing for myself. Information had no trouble confirming that my name and address matched.

I asked the Western Union agent for a supervisor. The supervisor explained to me that because their third party verifier could not verify my phone number, that they could not allow my transaction to go through. I explained that I had no trouble verifying my phone number by dialing 411 and wondered if he could do the same so we could complete the transaction. He indicated that he could not do this. So, once again, I was told that my transaction would be canceled. We ended the call.

At this point, I decided to go out on my bank's website and just create a check to mail to my friend. I was shocked to find B-O-T-H Western Union transactions posted as debits to my account. The total was just under $1000. I almost fainted. I called the Western Union customer service number and explained my situation. I was told that I would have my money back in 1-2 weeks. I explained that this was totally unacceptable. I asked for a supervisor.

The supervisor indicated that she would call my bank and take care of the issue. While I stayed on the line, she called my bank. She explained to the customer service agent at my bank that the transactions had been canceled and asked him to take the authorizations off my account. My bank's customer service agent said he could not do that at her request. The request needed to come from me (the bank customer). I spoke up and said I was on the line and that I was making the request. My bank's customer service agent indicated that I would need to call back and enter my identifying information, then ask to speak to an agent. The Western Union agent disconnected us from the bank agent.

She dialed the bank again. This time, I entered my SSN. The bank's automated voice began to repeat my SSN back to me and the Western Union agent. I interrupted before the whole number was repeated. I indicated the the Western Union agent that I did not think that this was a very secure way to handle the situation. I told her I would call the bank directly. I ended the call.

I called my bank, got through to an agent and explained the situation. The agent indicated that I could not request that the authorization be removed, that only Western Union could do that. I explained that another agent had indicated the opposite. I asked for a supervisor. I was placed on hold until once again, I was disconnected.

At this point, I have almost $1000 being held from my account and my friend still has no money from me. I decided that I should wait a bit before I call anyone again. I might have a stroke if I allow myself to get any more upset than I am at this moment.

Suffice it to say that I will NEVER use the Western Union online site again and I will tell everyone I know to avoid it like the plague.

invisible and irresistible

2010-12-07T19:19:00.000-08:00

About twelve years ago, I made fun of an older colleague because it was clear that she was drawing her eyebrows on her face and I thought it looked ridiculous. The person I was talking to made a funny face, which I now think meant, "just keep on living". This morning, as I was drawing on my own eyebrows, it occurred to me that life truly does teach you everything you need to know. Sometimes life just takes its own sweet time.

Each time I can't find my car in a parking lot, for instance, I remember another colleague who once offered me a ride to my building because it was raining. I accepted and followed her up and down multiple aisles in a parking lot before she remembered that she had parked in the OTHER lot. I finally gave up and ran to my building, getting soaked in the process. I stopped telling that hysterically funny story when I started losing my own car.

I also remember pointing to older, chubbier women and whispering, "shoot me if I ever start to look like that". I'm not sure whether to be thankful for the fact that none of my older friends own guns or that they have simply forgotten my unnecessary, rude comments. Because I look like that. I look just like that.

The year I became permanently invisible to gorgeous young men was a transition that has been difficult to accept. I'm fortunate that the same man who found me irresistible at age 20 still finds me so at age 52. He apparently still thinks I am the same size as well, judging from the items he purchases in size Petite Small. (This is both charmingly sweet and annoying.) But turnaround is fair play, so I still find him irresistible too.

Now I am on the sharp lookout for the next stage of life, so it will not catch me off guard. My brain tells me that it isn't possible to really prepare. Each change will hit me square between the eyes, just like it does everyone else. Heck, aging on Sims3 was a shock! How do you turn that off, anyway? You can't. Just like you can't turn aging off in real life. Just jump in and hold on for dear life!

philly serial killer

2010-11-25T07:13:00.000-08:00

The Philadelphia police think there is a serial killer on the loose in the Kensington area of the city. Two bodies have been found so far, and one woman has reported surviving an attack that is similar to the modus operandus of the two other victims. It's early for the police to be trying to make such a connection, but I suppose they want to be sure that they get the warning to potential victims. Scary!

demanding air passenger amazes and amuses

2010-11-20T16:05:00.000-08:00

If I had the ability to personally thank the idiotic young woman who provided the entertainment on my trip home from Miami, I certainly would! There I was, in seat 26C (when my reservation had indicated that I would be in 6D), seething about the fact that I was in the LAST ROW of that darn airplane, with my boarding card mocking me by claiming that mine was a CHOICE seat on that U.S. Airways flight. The plane took off and the entertainment began.

A young Asian woman climbed out of her middle seat a few rows ahead of me, and came down the aisle towards the toilets. She was wearing skin tight jeans, a short sleeved t-shirt and a baseball cap covered in pink sequins and rhinestones. As she approached, the gentleman seated just in front of me stood and joined the short queue for the toilets. The young woman made a loud noise, similar to one that a Beverly Hills teenager might make if someone offended her in some way. "Uh!," she huffed and rolled her eyes. Instead of standing behind him, she plopped down into his seat and began to complain loudly about the ridiculous wait that she had to endure in order to use the toilet. Three more people joined the queue while she whined and complained. When a flight attendant happened by, the young woman stood up, stopped her and demanded to know why she could not go use the toilet in the first class section of the airplane. The flight attendant, having probably answered this question about a BILLION times, politely answered the young woman. "That is RIDICULOUS!", the young woman responded. The flight attendant simply walked away.

The cartoon about the Angry Little Asian Girl (drawn by Lela Lee) popped into my head. At this point, I could contain myself no longer and I burst out laughing hysterically. The young woman looked at me in shock. I think she imagined that she might have a sympathetic audience. I said, "You've been watching too much reality television." She just looked at me as if I was from outer space. At that point, the short line moved forward and she stepped into a toilet. Now I don't want to speculate as to what she was doing in there, but at least nine people, including a young father with two children in tow, entered and exited the other toilet before she finally came out. As she returned to her seat, she talked loudly about the ridiculous inconvenience of the airplane toilet.

Since this pathetic young woman was occupying the middle seat in the back of the plane, I doubt very seriously that she was entitled to any rock star treatment, but she certainly behaved as if she was entitled. I thought about the unhappy life she had ahead of her. Nothing will ever be good enough. Nobody will ever satisfy her. Food will be returned. Service personnel will be berated. Shopkeepers will be taken to task. She is destined to leave a trail of unhappy people everywhere she goes.

Or - maybe she will grow up. I hope so! Life is far more pleasant when one is kind to people and one expects kindness in return. The older I get, the more I see that the attitude I bring to each day is such a huge factor in how that day turns out. The more I can talk myself into a happy place, the easier my day seems to progress. I hope I don't forget that as I get older! If I do, please remind me!

emmaus

2010-10-30T13:23:00.000-07:00

This is a beautiful grave marker that I spotted while riding past a cemetery in Emmaus, PA. I thought it was so beautiful. I was in the back seat of the car, but I yelled out, "I want to take a picture of that!" Emily Jean drove around the block and returned to the spot. I got out and went over to take the photo. When I got closer, I still thought it was a gorgeous carving of Jesus. But I was shocked to see a huge bird dropping on Jesus' head. The poop had trickled down into the hand of Jesus. I took the picture anyway, thinking that I would eventually think of the perfect thing that this was a metaphor for. But it still hasn't come to me. What do you think?

happy birthday to me

2010-10-23T07:35:00.000-07:00

Fifty-two does not feel particularly momentous. In fact, it feels an awful lot like fifty-one. The cake candles do not burn brighter than the previous year. This year however, the cake was accompanied by a fire extinguisher, thoughtfully provided by an employee. That was new!

So what fresh ideas pop into my head as a way of marking this annual recognition of time?

I would like to suddenly become wealthy. But even as this idea pops into my head, simultaneous thoughts rush in. 'Be careful what you wish for! Your wealth could be a legal settlement for paralysis! It could attract bad guys who kidnap you and then murder you after they get the ransom! It could be in the form of lottery winnings which might attract crazy people bent on destroying your new, wealthy lifestyle! It could be profits from that newly published novel, which attract a stalker who imagines you as his soul mate!'

I may not be wealthy, but I have a rich imagination.

words, glorious words

2010-09-22T19:41:00.000-07:00

On NBC's Today Show recently, Katie Couric used "zeitgiest", "kismet moment" and "American psyche" all in the same sentence. And suddenly I understood, for the very first time, why liberal Democrats (or progressives) lose the rest of the country. We like our intellect a bit too much. We love words and people who don't know words are intimidated. So they do what they did in high school. They create their own circle and they tell the smartypants people that they can't come in. Yes, I know. This is an extreme oversimplification. I don't care. I had a kismet moment. HAHA

oya and sophia

2010-08-29T14:31:00.000-07:00

People often ask me how I happened to choose the pen name OyaSophia. I was actually pretty deliberate about it. I wanted to be inspired by the stories and images of Goddesses. Since I knew nothing about Goddesses, I did some research.

Oya is the Yoruban Goddess of storms (or fierce winds or tempests). She is often depicted handling a tornado or some lightning. She is all about change and transformation. She is a Warrior Queen. What a wonderful muse for a writer! Oya is also a nurturing, protective mother. Anyone who has been a mother knows the overwhelming power you feel when you believe that your child is in danger. We would do anything to protect our babies. This is the power of Oya. But by herself, she was a bit too fierce. So I added Sophia.

Sophia is the Gnostic Goddess of wisdom. She is often presented as the most grounded of the divine. In the Gnostic Gospels found in Nag Hammadi, she was presented as the third manifestation of God, but was later altered to remove her feminine identification and transformed into what we now think of as "The Holy Spirit". (She also appears in many other religions, but is most powerful and wise in the Gnostic tradition.) Some people believe that Leonardo Da Vinci painted her just to the right of God in that famous Sistine Chapel painting that shows God reaching out his hand to Jesus. Go take a look!

Together, Oya and Sophia represent wisdom that comes from going through a storm. I often write to try to make sense of situations that I have weathered. I'm eager to learn.

Goddesses are symbols of the divine aspects of the feminine. Too often, women disappear from religious stories, or are regulated to minor roles. Any woman who has made it past childhood can tell story after story after story of women who have transformed situations, who have persevered, who have held each other up, who have swiftly and fairly meted out justice, who have stood tall in the face of danger, fear, the unknown or simply in the face of change. We know, instinctively, that women are powerful. I love the Goddesses because they represent our feminine power.

When I see the name OyaSophia on my blog title, it inspires me and humbles me. I am more careful about what I say. I am more aware of the responsibility I have as a woman and as a writer. It can't just be about me. My writing has to also be about how the reader may or may not be transformed. I hope that I am inspired by Oya and Sophia. I also hope that the inspiration will reach through my words and inspire others to be in touch with their creative side!

the pantry

2010-08-15T06:40:00.000-07:00

The pantry in my Memphis home was huge. As a result, I could never find anything. Now, in my off hours, I am unpacking the boxes packed by the moving company and I'm finding many duplications of goods. I count five cans of diced tomatoes, three cans of tomato paste, four cans of cream of chicken soup and so on.

Not only does my tiny new home in Eagleville, PA lack a pantry, there is very little cabinet space in the kitchen. I have far too many things to fit in the space!

In my preparation to move from 4000 square feet to 950+ square feet, I was so busy paring down my furniture and accessories and clothes, that I failed to consider all of the stuff in that pantry. But all of these duplications makes me consider whether this isn't a good lesson for my life.

Is it possible that I have so much that I fail to see what I have? Are diced tomatoes symbolic of some other blessing that I have in abundance that I fail to be thankful for on any given day? Am I, in fact, seeking what I already have?

This is not the first time I have been faced with this lesson. When my son was six years old, I was running late one wintry morning and raced out to the car, only to find it covered with ice. I wanted to cry and silently complained to God as I scraped the ice from the passenger side of the car, "Could you not send me an angel who would do this for me?" I meant a partner in life, of course, a man who would scrape the ice from my car and do so many of the other tasks that husbands traditionally do. As I felt the full force of my bitterness flowing from me into that ice scraper, I glanced through the hole I was creating and noticed my son's sweet face smiling brightly at me through the hole he was creating in the ice on the other side of the car. I already had an angel. I smiled back and felt ashamed. Count your blessings, my grandfather used to tell us, count them - every one.

jamie

2010-08-10T18:41:00.001-07:00

Then, there they are. The letters from his time in Iraq staring back at me from the cardboard box where they have been stored for these many years. I look at them, debating whether to open and read them again. I know that re-reading the letters, and, oh look, there are some greeting cards too from after he got back, will bring a huge sadness because ... well, because Jamie isn't walking on this Earth anymore. And I missed time with him, so busy with my own life.

I decide to open and read one card and pick one up at random. It is a Christmas card, no envelope, so I don't even know the year. But the content tells me it is after Desert Shield and Desert Storm. He is in the Golden Knights and he is headed to Arizona for off-season training. He is 8 months with his current girlfriend and things are looking promising for this relationship. His phone is changed because he was getting collections calls for two people he didn't even know. And he loves me and misses me.

And then I cry, mourning the loss of my friend again, wishing I had known that he needed a friend, needed me, towards the end of his life, wishing I could have been there for him. My mind goes through our long friendship. In college, when he longed for me, I was in love with someone else. Then, years later, after my divorce, when I was ready to love him back, he spiraled away from me. Then we just settled into a friendship. We were pen pals through Desert Shield and Storm. He wrote some of the most amazing letters ever. I can't read them right now. Maybe in a few years.

I hold him in a special place in my heart. He was my precious friend. Desperado. Jamie. I love you, sweetheart. Rest in peace.

process

2010-07-23T15:03:00.000-07:00

The last few weeks in Memphis were pretty hectic. There was a going away party at work, complete with bar-b-q and all the trimmings. (Thank you, Phyllis!) There were projects to complete at work. There was a week spent with the guy who will be pinch-hitting as the president of the campus until a permanent president is named. There were many, many private conversations with students and employees who had warm things to say to me.

Meanwhile, there were conversations with landlords (attempts on the Memphis end and success on the PA end), utility companies (both ends), and moving companies (estimates, then the actual planning with the company selected to handle the move). There was a new home for Scamp, the little dog that I found back in December. (Thank you, Marcus!)

Then the last day of work was upon me! More conversations with very special employees and precious students. I turned over my keys to my wonderful Office Manager and carried the last of my belongings out to the car. I drove away, not feeling sad about my departure. It felt right.

Saturday and Sunday, I flew through the house like a tornado, packing up all remaining crap that I did not want. All kinds of people came by in response to my three new Craig's List ads. More books and clothes and furniture went out the door. All of the empty boxes from my move to Memphis were picked up by a young couple moving to Texas. (I had held on to them, just in case I was financing my next move. You never know!) I also packed up my belongings that were going with me in my car, including my Grandmother McClarin's Limoges.

On Monday, the packers arrived. They worked fast. I finally heard from my Landlord, who gave me phone numbers for carpet people and cleaning people. I warned him that I might not be able to get everything done. He reassured me that he could put a lockbox on the door and the people he had recommended could come and go even if I wasn't there. Monday night I stayed at a hotel since everything was packed. I left Joe at the house because I figured it would be less stressful.

On Tuesday, the truck arrived and the movers carried all of my stuff out. The carpet guy came and I paid him almost a thousand dollars to replace the carpet that Scamp had damaged. (That was an expensive stray!!!) Then 1-800-GOT-JUNK arrived to pack up all the remaining crap in the house and garage. Whew!

On Wednesday, I did some cleaning at the house. Then I visited Comcast to turn in my cable box and the post office to complete a change of address. I took Joe to the hotel and he immediately burrowed under the bed covers.

Thursday, I hit the road! Joe was not a happy camper to find himself back in the cat carrier. Like a fool, I decided to drive all the way to Staunton, VA on the first day. I was trying to aim for the halfway point, but I couldn't find a cat-friendly hotel, so I kept getting further down the road. I didn't make a reservation though. Instead, I left it open. I figured if I got tired enough, I would be willing to sneak him in to a hotel that was NOT cat-friendly. But I did make it. The last 45 minutes was really hard. Ten hours was TOO MUCH for me for one day.

I thought it was appropriate to listen to gospel music while I traveled through the mountains of Tennessee. Joe's meows punctuated the music as he sang the kitty blues. It sounded kind of like this:

"I am a poor (meow!) wayfaring stranger, traveling through (meow!) this world of woe. Yet there’s no sickness (meow!) no toil or danger (meow!) in that bright world to which I go."

The hotel I ended up at was a but dumpy, but it was serviceable. Joe did not like it at all. He was jumpy the entire time we were there. I've seen lots of stories on bedbugs lately, so I was VERY paranoid and checked the bed closely. I called Daddy and he said that I really needed to go have breakfast at Mrs. Rowe's. I carefully set my alarm so I would have time to do that and still get into the Philly area before rush hour. I went to sleep with visions of Mrs. Rowe's spoon bread dancing in my head. Unfortunately, I forgot to change my clock from Central to Eastern time, so I got up an hour later than I intended. Sigh.

One visit to McDonald's later, I was on the road. My car's GPS routed me through Washington, D.C. When I ran MapQuest prior to my departure, it routed me through Harrisburg, PA. The D.C. route was a killer, with tolls galore. Maybe there would have been as many tolls going the other way. I will have to reactivate my E-Z-Pass account now that I am back in toll booth country!

Now I am safely esconced in my hotel room in PA. I called my mover after I arrived and was told my belongings won't be here until some point next week. That means I need to get comfortable in this hotel room. Joe is happy here. He is sound asleep beside me.

Since my stuff is not going to be delivered tomorrow, I plan to drive over to Allentown to visit my Dad. But my first task for tomorrow is to go to my apartment complex and pay the deposit and pick up my keys. I can't wait!

two saturdays remaining

2010-07-10T14:42:00.000-07:00

This is getting hard! I have two Saturdays left before the packers come and I still have a TON of stuff to sort through. I just refuse to take this crap with me! My greatest enemy is procrastination! I start something, then get distracted, then sit down to take a break and time passes ... help!

moving progress

2010-06-27T18:39:00.000-07:00

It seemed like a brilliant idea. My house is a mess and I have entirely too much crap. I'm moving from a 4000 square foot house into a 1000 square foot apartment, so a lot of that crap MUST GO. But it needs to be unpacked from boxes that were never unpacked from the last move, sorted through and labeled for a yard sale! Invite a friend to help. She could use the money and I could use the help.

And here I am on the other end of that brilliant idea. The crap did not get unpacked or sorted, the yard sale yielded just enough money for the friend to take $200+ home with her and my part of the yard sale did not exceed the funds needed to bring her here & prepare for the yard sale. End result? I am $150 in the hole and I still have all of the unpacking and sorting to do.

Back to the drawing board.

so help me god

2010-06-21T16:44:00.001-07:00

I have an old friend with whom I've recently reconnected on Facebook. His son was sworn in to the United States Army today. My friend was pretty upset because the Lieutenant in charge of the swearing in gave the soldiers a choice about whether to end their oath with "so help me, God". My friend is a conservative, a blue collar worker and he believes strongly in the Christian faith. His post ended with the statement "the liberals are taking over".

After I read my friend's post, I thought about a book I had read entitled So Help Me God: The Founding Fathers and the First Great Battle Over Church and State, authored by Forrest Church. The author cites numerous historical documents that show quite clearly that separation of church and state was an issue way back at the birth of our nation. It has never been a settled issue and probably never will be. Although I had no hope that it would make any difference whatsoever, I added a comment suggesting that folks interested in this issue might want to read Church's book.

But more interesting to me were the comments that other friends added to his post. One friend added the comment, "or less government interference in personal beliefs". At first I thought she was giving a contrary opinion to his. To me, less interference would mean that each person would decide for himself/herself about whether to add "so help me, God" to an oath. But after a few other people left comments indicating how disgusted they were at each enlistee being given a choice, she added another comment, "Is this America?"

I don't think she was even aware of how contradictory her two comments were. On the one hand, she was suggesting that the government stop interfering with private religious decisions. But on the other hand, she was indicating that she would like the government to force every person enlisting in the United States military to end the oath with "so help me, God". None of the commenters said anything contradictory to this train of thought. My comment came as close as I dared without risking endless flaming.

This is the problem with debates like this. Most of my friends, who are admittedly liberal to one degree or another, would state their opinion, then follow it with a statement that indicated that they would be fine with all people deciding for themselves. My few conservative friends are absolutely adamant that everyone should think like them. And many of them go on to add that anyone who doesn't agree with them is anti-American, evil, unpatriotic, anti-military, stupid or some other negative description. Insults usually fly in the direction of anyone who disagrees. And facts are NOT WELCOME.

The TEA Party, for instance, feels they are "Taxed Enough Already" and are protesting wildly all over the country. When you point out to them that some of the largest tax cuts for the middle class have been passed by Congress within the last year, under a Democratic president and a Democratic-controlled Congress, they refuse to believe it. For them, Democrats mean MORE taxes, so they do not want to be confused with the facts.

I am absolutely amazed at this failure of grown men and women to read and do their own research. They blindly repeat the conservative talking heads. There are probably times when I am guilty of believing the liberal talking heads, without doing my own research. But most of the time, I want to see the evidence with my own eyes. That's what we should ALL do, in my opinion. Demand to see the evidence!!!

pennsylvania

2010-06-20T08:33:00.000-07:00

The week of July 19th will be the week that I relocate to Pennsylvania. There is so much to get done before then. It seems such a short time ago that I was going through this process to get ready for my move to Memphis. Moving is exciting, but it can also be really annoying!

Step One

Find a place to live in Pennsylvania. This is COMPLETE! I'll be living in a small apartment in Norristown, PA.

Step Two

Contact movers. Schedule walk-through to get estimates. I have to provide three estimates to my company. Then they will tell me which mover to use.

Step Three

Schedule PACK date for packers to come pack all of my stuff. Schedule LOAD date for the day the movers actually load my stuff on the truck. Schedule DELIVER date for the day the movers actually deliver my stuff to my new apartment.

Step Four

Sort and categorize. Am I packing it, selling it, throwing it away or giving it to charity? I am EXTREMELY thankful that my friend (Holly) has agreed to come to Memphis to help me with this project. My home is almost 4000 square feet and I am moving into a 1000 square foot space. I am thrilled to be down-sizing, but I am also fearful that I will not get rid of enough stuff.

Step Five

Yard sale!!! Holly is helping me with this too.

Step Six

Throw out or donate anything that doesn't go at the yard sale.

Step Seven

Packers, loaders do their thing.

Step Eight

Clean that house!

Step Nine

Contact all utilities and schedule shut off dates.

Step Ten

Submit change of address to post office.

Step Eleven

Leave!

During this same time period, I have a school to run, employees to supervise, problems to solve, a trip to New Jersey for a conference, a trip to North Carolina for a family reunion and two animals to deal with. I have still not found a home for Scamp, the Toy Fox Terrier who appeared in my neighborhood in December. I simply can NOT take him with me, so I am afraid I am getting closer and closer to an inevitable trip to the animal shelter where he will almost certainly be euthanized. Very sad!!!

This should be an interesting time!!!

oil slick & tar balls

2010-06-04T16:55:00.000-07:00

The cruise I took last week followed a track around the island nation of Cuba. So, from Fort Lauderdale, we took a short jaunt to an island in the Bahamas. Then we sailed around the Eastern end of Cuba and tracked back to the west towards Jamaica. Then we skipped further west to Grand Cayman. A little past the southwestern tip of Cuba, we stopped at Cozumel. After leaving Cozumel, we sailed back east across the northern coast of Cuba, just east of the Gulf of Mexico for a full day at sea.

There was a period of time during that sea day that I sat out on our balcony looking out at the ocean. It was the last day of the cruise, which always brings some sadness. I was gazing down at the water when I noticed that the surface of the water had a strange sheen to it that I did not remember ever noticing on any of my prior cruises. I stood up to take a closer look. My neighbor happened to be out on his balcony. He asked me, "Does that look like oil to you?" It did. I nodded my head. The pattern in the sheen could not have been the result of just water.

Watching CNN coverage of the oil spill off the coast of Louisiana, one would think that it is not possible that we could have seen oil on the water that far south. But I truly think that we did.

This morning, tar balls began washing up on the beaches of Pensacola. If you've never vacationed on the west coast of Florida, this may not bring tears to your eyes like it did mine.

I am completely amazed that there are multiple people who shamelessly pontificate about the harmless nature of this oil spill. "There is always some oil naturally spilling into the ocean from oil sources." "Five years from now, this oil spill will have been naturally absorbed." "The liberal media is already running the sad pictures of the birds covered with oil, all designed to convince people that this is a catastrophic event." Logodaedaly usually amuses. In this case, it just makes me furious.

My prediction is that British Petroleum will ride this out with very little consequence. I do not trust politicians to hold BP accountable. And I believe that lawyers could keep any final decisions in stasis for years and years and years.

May 30 - travel day

2010-05-30T17:56:00.000-07:00

Disembarkation is always an interesting affair. Nobody wants to get off the ship. Everybody wants to stay. So people are tired and crabby and not looking forward to the travel day. Princess has a wonderful disembarkation process, however. They divide everyone into groups based on how and when you are scheduled to leave the port city of Fort Lauderdale. Each group is assigned to a different part of the ship and when it is your turn to go, a crew member simply tells you that you can go. This REALLY beats the old system of people scattered randomly throughout the entire ship and the intercom being used to make announcements about who can now leave the ship. That was chaotic.

I had purchased bus transfers to the Fort Lauderdale airport, so we were in one of the earlier groups, scheduled to disembark at 8:10 a.m. So I set my alarm for 7:00 a.m. The alarm went off at 7:00 a.m. Unfortunately, my attempt to hit the snooze button actually turned the alarm off. Fortunately, I woke up on my own at 7:40 a.m. After scurrying around like crazy people, we actually arrived at our appointed waiting area a minute or two prior to them telling us we could go.

Sam had purchased a small knife in Mexico and the ship had confiscated it. He was told that when he checked himself off the ship that a little alarm bell would ring and that the crew member could quickly look in the computer and see that the alarm signified that they were holding something. Since they knew the time and place of our departure in advance, they had his purchase waiting at that location and presto! We would be done. So, when the little alarm sounded, we were not startled. And he stepped to the side to collect his purchase. But when I checked out, the little alarm sounded again. A crew member stepped forward and asked me for my name. I told her. She explained that she had been asked to escort me to the United States Customs agents. My heart skipped a beat. The Princess crew member escorted me (and Sam) all the way down the exit to the area where you collect your suitcases, then on into the Customs area. The Customs agent asked me for my passport, my customs declaration and any proof of purchases. Luckily I had all of that ready! It seems that the cost of my little bauble had put me into the "must pay duty" category, but since my purchase was duty free, it was much ado about nothing! And we were allowed to go out the side exit, ahead of the 100 suckers who had been ahead of us in line. Yay!!!!!

It was at that moment that I realized that I had accidentally thrown our airport bus transfer tickets away the night before. So, we got in the taxi line and rode to the airport! Then the fun REALLY began! Our ship held about 3500 people. But there were several other ships that arrived that morning. So several thousand people converged upon the Fort Lauderdale and Miami airports simultaneously. Can you say MADHOUSE? I warned Sam in advance, but you have to see it to believe it.

The Fort Lauderdale airport has solved the problem by only allowing folks to check in two hours in advance of their departure time. The rest of us found floor space and got ready to WAIT. Sam and I were soon joined by the young couple we had met at the wine tasting, then climbed Dunn's River Falls with. They are such a fun, interesting, SMART couple. We sat together for a while. Then Sam was able to check in and go through to the gates for his 12:30 p.m. flight. A little while later, the couple was able to check in and go through to the gate for their 1:30 p.m. flight. Left to my own devices, I quickly made friends with a young man on my left from Philadelphia and two girlfriends on my right who were from Memphis and would be on my flight. We all enjoyed conversation so much that the time flew by. Then it was time to go through for our 4:30 p.m. flight. Yay!

I stopped to eat some chicken fingers and the two girlfriends from Memphis joined me. We talked and laughed until it was time to board our flight. We all agreed that we wished we had met two years ago when I first arrived in Memphis! They were so much fun.

Two sad notes today: A passenger died on the girlfriends' cruise ship. (I can't remember which ship they were on - not mine.) They had none of the details. And a crew member committed suicide by jumping overboard during the Oasis of the Seas voyage this week. He was a 45 year-old assistant waiter from St. Vincent & The Grenadines. Royal Caribbean declined to give his name, but they apparently have security footage showing him taking the leap. The ship apparently missed one of their ports of call because they were searching for him with the assistance of the U.S. Coast Guard and the Bahamian authorities. Very, very sad!!!

The flight was uneventful. I found my car, got in and received an immediate reminder that I was almost out of gas. I asked the attendant at the exit where the nearest gas station was and she told me. I then drove in that direction, found a gas station and attracted quite a bit of attention because I really stood out! I got 5 gallons and moved on!!!

At home, I found an incredibly affectionate cat, a pile of mail and NO FOOD. So now I am on my way out to get something to eat.

Thanks for joining me on my travels!!!

May 29 - at sea day

2010-05-29T15:04:00.001-07:00

I woke up this morning at 8:30 a.m. Sam was still asleep so I decided to close my eyes for a few more minutes. The next thing I knew, the phone was ringing. It was the spa wondering where I was for my 10:45 a.m. appointment. I looked at the clock. It was 10:50 a.m.!!! How in the heck did that happen???

I rushed upstairs to the spa. My hot stone massage felt rushed and rather perfunctory. It wasn’t the worst massage I ever had, but it was close. And, because I had pre-booked, I was charged the full price rather than the Today’s Special price that everyone else that booked at the last minute got, which gave them a $30 savings. I made up my mind to stop pre-booking massages. From now on, when I cruise, I will book only when they have specials that I am interested in receiving.

Sam had already had breakfast by the time I got back, so he went to get me a hot dog and Coke. While he was gone, I watched dolphins cavort in the water next to the ship. They are such graceful creatures. I tried to take pictures, but I kept missing their jumps. All I captured in the pictures were the splashes!

Sam and I watched TV together for a short while. Then we got ourselves together and went to the final Bingo game because the $2000 jackpot MUST GO!!!!!! (Jane and I won the big jackpot on one of our prior cruises, so I know it is possible!) Sam and I did not win. But one of my cards was only two numbers away from a win - darn it!!

After Bingo, we went to look at jewelry and I bought myself a little bauble. Sam went to the pool for one last swim and one last chance at catching some sun. I went to the cabin to start getting packed - boo hoo!!! You have to put your bags out before you go to dinner. Deciding what to KEEP is tough. You need something to wear that night and something to wear for your travel day and something to sleep in, plus assorted toiletries. I solved the problem by purchasing a rolling computer bag which has room for about one or two nights worth of clothing. I love this new bag!!! So, I figured what I was keeping and packed the rest. In the process of sorting through everything, I threw away all of the papers that had accumulated throughout the length of the cruise. Unfortunately, I threw out our bus transfer tickets that I had carefully purchased in advance. But I didn't dicover that until the next morning.

Sam returned from his last pool visit and started to pack up his things. Once we both had our bags in the hall, we left the room for our last dinner. On this night we shared a table with a delightful British mother and daughter. The mother was a bit older than me and the daughter was about six years older than Sam. They were wonderful dinner companions - my favorites of the entire cruise. Sam enjoyed talking with them too. The only really negative aspect of this final dinner of the cruise was something I am now referring to as "The Flan Incident".

As we were enjoying our entrees, I couldn't avoid noticing that a table for ten next to us were all served Flan for dessert. I was very excited because I absolutely LOVE Flan or Creme Caramel or Creme Brulee. But when it came time for us to order dessert, I did not find anything on the menu. Flan is a permanent fixture on the room service menu, so I figured this was how the table next to ours had gotten it. So I asked our waiter if I could have a Flan. Our waiter said that I could not have a Flan because it was not on the menu tonight. Puzzled, I pointed to the table next to ours. He explained that this had been arranged in advance. I stated the obvious - that Flan is always available on the room service menu, so must be in the kitchen, so couldn't he please just go get me one? He excused himself. I was happy, thinking he had gone to get me a Flan. Nope! The Head Waiter presented himself. Is there a problem, says he? Yes, I say, there is no Flan on the table in front of me! The Head Waiter explains that Flan is not on the menu tonight. Had we arranged something in advance, he could have accomodated us, but since we did not, he is unable to help us. Knowing that this is ridiculous, I ask if I can use a house phone to call room service and have them deliver some Flan to me at our table. The Head Waiter was not amused. I finally gave up. I should have asked for the Maitre d', but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I have spent thousands of dollars between cruise fare, airfare, spa treatments, my new bauble and multiple coffees, sodas and alcoholic beverages, but I could not have a Flan. Ah, such is life ...

After dinner, Sam went out and I settled in to the cabin to get some sleep because I knew the travel day would be crazy. I was right!!!

May 28 - Cozumel

2010-05-28T06:51:00.001-07:00

This morning I was down at the coffee bar getting a Vanilla Latte and Sam tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and he was with two friends I hadn’t met before. He gestured in my direction and said, “This is my Mom.” One of the two girls didn’t even look in my direction. The other one looked over at me as if I was a distasteful looking slug and turned away again. I looked at Sam with a “You have GOT to be kidding me” look on my face. He shrugged. I said, “Ohhh-kayyy” and turned my back to them as my drink arrived. Behind me, I heard one of the two girls shout, “Bye, Mom!”, in an incredibly sarcastic tone. She was very lucky that she was out of sight by the time I turned back around, because I think I probably would have felt compelled to teach her some manners. The waiter asked, “Are those your children ditching you for the day?” I replied, “That was my son and a couple of skanks he probably just met.”

After I got my Latte, I went up to the breakfast buffet. I fixed my plate and went in search of a table. The tables are usually all taken, but you can choose to join a table, if you don’t mind sitting with people you don’t know. Usually this guarantees interesting conversation and you might even make new friends. I spotted a table with six chairs that had only two people, a couple, sitting at it. I asked if I could join them. They said yes, so I sat down. They then proceeded to ignore me the entire time I sat there, which is most unusual. Since this was happening immediately after the incident with Sam’s “friends” ignoring me, I developed a bit of a complex, but thankfully it only lasted for the time I was at the table. When I was finished eating I stood and politely thanked them for allowing me to join them. They just looked at me. Some people are very odd!

I spent most of the day in the Sanctuary. When I couldn’t avoid the sun anymore, I came back to the cabin and caught the latest James Bond movie. That Daniel Craig is a great James Bond. Interestingly enough, we have a Head Waiter in the Da Vinci dining room who is a dead ringer for Daniel Craig, but a bit older and not as svelte. He enjoyed being compared to him, however! He said he was on a secret assignment.

As we left Cozumel, the ship turned and I had a view of the sunset over the ocean. It was an incredible sight. I took some pictures, but none of them really did justice to the event. At one point, I glanced up at the bridge and saw an officer filming the sunset. When the sun had completely disappeared, all of the passengers that had been watching broke out in spontaneous applause and cheers.

Sam came back to the room at about 7:30 p.m. and we got dressed and went to dinner. He was nursing a mild hangover. To my left at the table were two sisters who were about my age. To their left was a couple who were in their sixties. To Sam’s right was a young couple about his age, maybe a little older. The older gentleman was in his cups quite a bit and slurred through everything he said. He had seen two beautiful German girls the night before while he was sitting at a bar and he told us about them about ten times. Each time his wife would just roll her eyes. I’m sure she wanted to throw her water glass in his face. Frankly, I wouldn’t have blamed her!!! I wanted to do it myself! The sisters were wonderful. I really enjoyed talking with them. Sam left the table after dessert, followed shortly by the young couple. I was enjoying conversation with the sisters, but the older gentleman kept butting in with unrelated topics, including – what else – the beautiful German girls. I finally excused myself and got up from the table.

As I began to walk away, I heard the older gentleman call out to me. “Ma’am!” I decided to pretend that I did not hear him because the last thing I wanted was to get cornered by a disgusting, old, drunk man. He was persistent, however. “Ma’am! You say you’re a college president. We need a college president!” I continued walking quickly, hoping he would give up. “Ma’am! Ma’am! Ma’am!” I was walking so fast that he had to be running to keep up with me. I heard him tell someone, “I can’t catch her.” I reached the entrance to the dining room, “Ma’am!”, went out the door and made a quick right turn to the back staircase, then a quick left turn to the elevators, skirted right to the shops and practically ran to the casino. I didn’t hear him shouting at me anymore. But I still didn’t slow down. I wound my way through the casino, then to the next set of elevators, walked up one flight of stairs, then paused to catch my breath. I think watching that James Bond movie had an impact on me because I felt like I had outrun some secret agents!

Back in the room, Sam was stretched out on his bunk listening to Mike’s IPod. He had decided to stay in. I told him what had happened with the man. He was equally disgusted. We watched a little television. He fell asleep before I did, but I wasn’t long behind him.

May 27 - Grand Cayman

2010-05-27T14:58:00.000-07:00

Today was a beautiful day. Sam went ashore with friends. I stayed on the ship in the Sanctuary. Time seems to stand still in that place. I had the attendant turn my lounge chair towards the outside of the ship so I could look at the beautiful ocean, the shallows and the beaches beyond. The colors were just fantastic. As the breezes blew across the water, turquoise would turn to azure and then to a light navy blue, then back again. Turquoise stripes generally marked the more shallow places, but the colors seemed to move across the waters at times. It was lovely.

Sam and I had dinner tonight at Sabatini Restaurant. Our reservation was for 8:30 p.m. and we did not leave the restaurant until 10:15 p.m. Sabatini has an interesting concept. You select your main course. Then they begin bringing you every appetizer in the place. You can take as much of each as you wish. For your reading pleasure, here is a list of the appetizers:

Prosciutto E Melone – Italian Cured Parma Ham Sweet Peppered Melon

Porcini All’ Olio Vergine – Porcini Mushrooms, Extra Virgin Olive Oil and Roasted Garlic Puree

Calamari Fritti – Crisp Fried, Tender Calamari, Parsley, Sea Salt and Citris Aiolo

Zucchini Dorati – Battered in Buttermilk and Parmesan, Chili and Anchovy Romesco

Bresaola Della Valtellina – Air Dried Beef Fillet, Arugula Salad, Shaved Parmesan

Insalata Di Gamberi E Carciofi – Tender Shrimp and Marinated Artichoke with White Truffle Oil

Polpettine Di Granchio – Devilled Crab Cakes, Roasted Chili Remoulade, Scallion and Red Radish

Flan Di Ricotta All’ Aglio Dolce – Ricotta Cheese and Elephant Garlic Flan, Beet Root Leaf, Sun Blushed Tomato

You are then offered soup or salad:

Brodo Di Pollo Con Fagioli – Chicken Broth, White Beans, Garden Fresh Vegetables and Baked Ciabatta Crouton

Zuppa Di Pomodoro Con Frutti Di Mare – Tomato Soup, Grilled Shellfish, Gremolata and Lemon Confit

Insalata Mista Profumata Con Aceto Balsamico E Cipolline – Tender Baby Field Greens, Pepperoncini, Chi-Chis, Pecorino and Shallot Vinaigrette

Then comes the pasta course. There are two types and you are offered both:

Ravioli Di Ricotta E Tartufo – Hand made Potato and Ricotta Ravioli, Truffle, Reggiano and Burro Fuso

Pappardelle Al Sugo Di Funghi – Wide Egg Noodles Simmered in a Mushroom Veloute, Tender Asparagus, Baby Spinach and Fresh Tomato

Then, choose your main entrée from these:

Branzino Al Forno – Roasted Chilean Bass with a Whole Grain Mustard Crust, Lemon Asparagus. Mustard Green Salad

Grigliata Di Scampi – Broiled Langoustines with Tomato, Spinach, Capers, Potato and Champagne Butter

Aragosta Alla Griglia – Grilled Cold Water Lobster Tail, Pumpkin Risotto, Brown Butter Lobster Sauce

Petto Di Pollo Ripieno – Stuffed Supreme of Chicken, Truffled Whipped Potatos, Oven Dried Tomatoes

Capesante Alla Griglia – Jumbo Sea Scallops Seasoned with Pepper and Galliano, Truffled Tomato

Gamberoni All’ Aglio – Sauteed Tiger Prawns over Creamed Polenta, Fried Cauliflower, Basil Oil

Lombata Di Vitello Arrosta – Carved Chop of Piemontese Veal, Mushroom Ragout, Barolo Glaze

Finally, help yourself to a dessert. Choose as many as you wish:

Crema Al Caffe – Espresso Crème Brulee, Star Anise Biscotti, Armagnac Foam

Torta Di Agrumi Con Frutti Di Bosco – Citrus Tart, Chocolate Ribbon, Orange and Balsamico Essence

Tiramisu – Tia Maria Soaked Lady Fingers Layered with Sweet Mascarpone Cream

Semi-Freddo Al Chocolato Bianco Soffice E Limoncello – White Chocolate Mousse, Limoncello Cream, Honey Tuile

Crostata Di Lamponi Con Menta E Frutti Di Bosco – Raspberry Frangipane, Macerated Wild Berries, Fresh Mint Coulis

Zabaglione – Whisked to the Music of Andrea Bocelli, Scented with Marzala

I did NOT make up that last one! Sam and I were so stuffed with the appetizers that we skipped soup and salad and went directly to the pasta course. By the time our main dishes arrived, I could only take two or three bites of my scallops, and Sam only had two bites of his lobster. Our waiter asked if he could deliver our desserts to our room and we gratefully accepted. So, MUCH LATER, we enjoyed the Espresso Crème Brulee and another dessert that I never really figured out. It looked like a piece of chess pie, but that was nowhere on the menu.

A visit to Sabatini Restaurant is a must-do. It is definitely worth the upcharge, but go easy on the bread and appetizers. You will want to eat the main course and the dessert!!!

May 26 - Jamaica

2010-05-27T14:57:00.000-07:00

All the way up until 5 minutes prior to our departure, I was undecided about whether to go or not. Part of me wanted nothing more than to laze around in the Sanctuary again. And my sinuses were killing me. I had a little snot production factory going and no medication could shut it down. It was (and still is) disgusting. But finally, I decided that I had already paid for the excursion. And it would be fun going with Sam. We would have that memory forever. So I pushed myself and off we went.

We exited the ship directly onto the pier and walked up a little hill to where all of the tour buses were. We found our guide who pointed us to the correct bus. On the same bus were two friends that Sam had been hanging out with. (I think they are actually a good bit older than Sam, but they refused to say their age when he asked.) One of the two girls is, I think, quite enamored with Sam. He is clearly not interested in her and is lukewarm towards her. But Sam’s lukewarm is still warm and many girls have been fooled into thinking he was really into them. I always want to warn them, but I keep my mouth shut. His love life is his business and his business alone. His heart is back home, I believe.

Our bus set off and headed towards some caves that we were scheduled to explore. The caves were not nearly as cave-ish as we expected. In fact, at one point they were privately owned and the front portion of the cave was used as a disco club. At one point, we walked down 65 steps to look at an underground lake. I almost died coming back up those 65 steps. I had to stop at the top, heaving for oxygen. I was so hot that I had to take my shirt off. (I had my bathing suit on underneath.) Yikes! I am really out of shape. We had to crawl on our hands and knees to get out of the cave. Had I known that, I would never have gone in! But crawl, I did!!!

Our next stop was the famous Dunn’s River Falls. This spectacular waterfall drops down at multiple angles until it meets the ocean. Several years ago, I visited Dunn’s River Falls with my Mother. But we traveled over by catamaran and it deposited us on the beach where the climb begins. This time, our van driver actually deposited us at the top of the falls at the park entrance. Sam had always planned to climb the Falls, but I was undecided. But that 65 stair climb had convinced me that I had better skip the climb up the Falls. Luckily, there is a path that goes up the hill just beside the Falls. So I got to watch Sam and his group climb the Falls. Unfortunately for me, it began to rain during the climb and I got SOAKED from head to toe. I was really hating that and was complaining bitterly. But then a moment happened. I was leaning against a fence and the rain was falling on me and I leaned my head back and just existed – in that moment. I smiled so big. I am in Jamaica, in my bathing suit, with a warm rain falling on me. This was one of those “far-away-from-home” moments. So beautiful. It only lasted for a moment and although I tried, I couldn’t get it back.

After we returned to the ship, Sam took off again to find a place where he could have a Red Stripe beer and some jerk chicken. I went to take a nap. I was so tuckered out from the outing that I stayed in the bed until the next morning.

May 25 - at sea day

2010-05-27T09:15:00.000-07:00

Even though Sam was out late, he woke up before I did. He took off to work out at the gym. I put my bathing suit on and headed up to the Sanctuary where I alternately read my Kindle and dozed. At around lunch time, Sam came and joined me and we had hot dogs and hamburgers together.

At 1 p.m., we attended a Cruise Critic meet & greet, where everyone brought bottles of wine from their home states. (I was unable to find a drinkable wine from Memphis, Tennessee.) That was an enjoyable gathering of people. We met a few new people who had not attended the first CC meeting.

At 3:30 p.m., we attended the Maitre’ D’s wine tasting. On each table were several plates with assorted hors d’oeuvres to pair with each wine. The wines included:

1. Veuve Clicquot, Brut. “A full-bodied robust sparkler.”
2. Pouilly-Fuisse’, “Medium-bodied, dry with fruity flavor.”
3. Chardonnay, Cuvaison, Carneros. “Aromatic with aroma of white peach, spice and apple with complex tropical notes.”
4. Murrieta’s Well Meritage. “With aromatic flavors of plums, black cherries and hints of herbs. This Meritage is subtle and sophisticated. It’s a medium to full bodied wine consisting of 78% Cabernet Sauvignon, 10% Pinot Verdot, 7% Cabernet Franc and 5% Merlot.”
5. Silverado Cabernet Sauvignon. “Aromas of berry, vanilla, spice and dried herbs. A medium to full bodied wine that has juicy mouth filling flavors of sweet fruit and oak on a long, lingering finish.”
6. Opus 1, Mondavi-Rothschild. “A much sought-after California wine, Opus One is made in the best of French traditions through a joint venture started between Robert Mondavi and Baron Phillipe de Rothschild – and its fame speaks for itself.”

The two that I loved were the Pouilly-Fuisse’ and the Opus One. The Opus One was smoooooooooth. We were joined at the table by two couples, one Sam’s age and one my age. There was also a guy there by himself, but I don’t think he spoke English because he never said a word. At one point the conversation turned to the show from the previous night. The young guy said, “Was anyone else as offended by that as I was?” I replied, “Thank you!!!” I felt so much better knowing that I wasn’t the only one.

That evening, Sam and I had a reservation at the Crown Grill. It was formal night, so we dressed up a bit. Sam wore his nice shirt and jacket with his jeans. He looked nice. I wore a black dress with a feather-light jacket patterned with beautiful abstract designs in red, orange and black. We had a wonderful dinner. We had tiger prawns for an appetizer. Then Sam had a salad and I had the Black & Blue Onion Soup, which is a French onion soup made with blue cheese. Why did I think I would like that? I don’t like blue cheese. For the main dish, I ordered the Maine lobster. Sam ordered the Brazilian lobster AND a porterhouse steak. Our side dishes were asparagus and a wonderfully tasty au gratin potato dish. For desert, Sam chose a S’More themed dessert and I asked for the sampler, which was a tiny portion of every dessert on the menu. Yummy!

After we left the restaurant, we happened to pass by a photographer, so we paused to have some spontaneous photos taken. We still haven’t gone to see them!

Sam went out with his friends again, although I noticed he did not stay out as late as he had the previous night. He told me the next morning that the club was dead. It was just as well since the next day was our stop in Jamaica!!!

private island

2010-05-24T13:27:00.000-07:00

Now, where was I? When last we met, it was just after Sail-away and I was happily at sea. I had a late afternoon nap. Then Sam came to wake me up to get ready for dinner. We had Anytime dining, so we went to the Da Vinci dining room and took the first available table. I had a British couple to my right. Then, to their right were two men together, from Phoenix. Sam had a couple from the USA on his left. The British couple and the two men barely said a word. I kept trying to pull them into the conversation, but they would answer whatever question I asked, then they would clam up again. The couple to Sam’s left was very talkative, however, so the meal was not a complete bust. The food was mediocre again. I think that Princess has really dropped the ball when it comes to food preparation in the main dining rooms.

After dinner, I went on back to the room and settled in for the night. My sinus infection is really kicking my butt and I wanted to take some medicine that I knew would knock me out. Sam went out with his friends and was out until the wee hours of the morning. I am so glad that he is having a good time!

Day One of our cruise took us to Princess Cay, the cruise line’s private island. It is a beautiful little island, which I saw only from the ship because after I got a pedicure, I gratefully claimed my padded lounger up in the Sanctuary and settled in to read and snooze. I mostly snoozed all day. At lunch, I ordered a hot dog and French fries, which was just what I wanted. It was delicious. I read most of one book on my Kindle. The Sanctuary is so quiet. My lounge chair is very close to the massage cabana, so I enjoyed the soothing music that was being played for the massage client. Sam went ashore and hung out with the friends he met at the Cruise Critic meeting.

That young man is a marvel. He makes friends so easily. He finds something in common with every person he meets. This morning at breakfast, we joined a Hispanic man at his table. Soon, we were joined by his friends, an African-American couple who are newlyweds. The husband is in his 60’s and the wife is in her 50’s. They told us about their courtship and how they fell in love. She has two older children and she has an 11 year-old daughter, who was with them. We had wonderful conversation with them. The wife, Gloria, said that she hoped we would meet again. I told them that the odd thing about being on cruise ships is that once you have a conversation with someone, you then see them over and over and over again and each time feels like you are greeting dear friends from years gone by. True to form, we have seen them several times since and have even exchanged Facebook information so we could become FB friends.

That evening, we went to dinner with Sam's friends, a young couple from Ohio. We were seated with two other couples. A Russian couple who emigrated to the United States about twenty years ago sat to my right. To Sam's left was a young couple from Colorado who were celebrating their 5th wedding anniversary. The Russian couple live in Phoenix. Since Sam and I lived in Phoenix for a few years, there was much to discuss. And since my mother and sister live in Colorado, we had quite a lot to discuss with the younger couple too. It was a fun dinner.

After dinner, we attended a stage production featuring Motown music. It was positively frightful. The entire cast was Caucasian. At one point, one cast member came very close to being in whiteface. I was horrified. I kept looking around to see if anyone else was offended. I wondered how any African-American people in the audience might be reacting. At the very least, I am quite sure they were all in agreement that White people should not put on a show featuring Motown music. Those poor kids just had no soul! And quite a bit of the music was in a key too low for the main singers to hit the lower notes. The band was great, however!!!

After the show, I went to bed because it was past my bedtime.  Sam went out with his friends again. He was out pretty late and told me later that he had an absolute blast.

sailaway

2010-05-23T15:32:00.000-07:00

The sail-away party is behind us and we are happily at sea.

Yesterday was travel day. I got up at about 7:30 a.m. because I wanted to go ahead and take Scamp to the Pet Hotel and I knew I would need to fill out some paperwork when I got there. But first – breakfast! Scamp happily accompanied me on a McDonald’s run, then scampered around the back yard while I ate my breakfast and drank coffee out on the patio. I was looking forward to a relaxing day because my flight wasn’t scheduled to depart Memphis until 3:30 p.m.

After breakfast, I started getting dressed for the day. I stopped suddenly because an inner voice said, “go ahead and check in for your flight on line”. I’ve learned to listen to that voice! When I pulled up my itinerary on Delta’s website, I found that my Memphis to Atlanta flight had been canceled. IEEEEE! The next 90 minutes consisted of me frantically rearranging travel plans for me and for Sam.

My new flight was scheduled to leave 90 minutes EARLIER than my original flight, because I now had THREE flights instead of two. I hadn’t even packed yet! I rushed Scamp over to the Pet Hotel. There was no time for a pedicure. I would just have to get one on the ship. I threw everything into the suitcases, hoping that my rush would not cause me to forget anything. Then it was time to go to the airport. When I arrived at the airport, I looked down and noticed that my gas light had come on. (That should make for an exciting journey home.)

On my flight to Nashville, I sat next to a Baptist preacher’s wife. She and her husband were relocating to Louisiana from Nashville. She lamented that one daughter did not attend church. I lamented that my son’s life had gotten derailed by an accident. We both agreed to pray for each other’s children. Her daughter’s name is Amy. But I am not praying for Amy to go to church. I am praying for Amy to find God, in whatever way she needs to do so.

Sitting in Nashville, I watched CNN. Part of the headline news was that the U.S. State Department had issued an advisory for Jamaica. I wonder if this will affect our itinerary. I suspect that it will not. I was a little hungry and spotted a Neely’s, which is a little restaurant. I love the Neely’s in Memphis. (You may know the Food Network show based on their cooking. (Is it “Down Home with the Neelys”?) Anyway, I ordered a pulled pork sandwich that was HORRIBLE. It was about 80% fat and gristle. The meat that was there was overcooked and the BBQ sauce was just bad. I threw it away after about 2 bites.

Before I knew it, it was time to fly to Atlanta. I had an empty seat beside me. I arrived in Atlanta and headed to my new gate. I found Sam sitting in a bar next to our departure gate. We sat at the bar, drinking beer (Sam) and wine (me). Then we ate some chicken fingers. Yummy!

On our flight to Ft. Lauderdale I sat with young couple who were FUNNY. They had a very animated conversation about a Redbook magazine that she had bought, but that he was reading. He was hysterically funny, reading aloud some of the articles, which he found absolutely silly, which of course they are. He kept asking, “Is this for real?” They were a very cute couple.

We claimed our bags, with me expressing absolute delight that mine made it through two plane changes. We headed out to the curb and found the Comfort Inn Airport/Cruise South van and off we went to the hotel. We arrived at our destination almost immediately and I knew that this was not the same place that I had stayed last time. Clearly I had made a mistake when I made the reservation. You can take your pick of any of the following descriptions for this place: 1. DUMP!!! 2. Dilapidated. 3. Disaster! It was really the pits. Sam kept telling me that it was perfectly fine for one night, but I thought it was just awful. The room was not in good shape. The “continental” breakfast was barely serviceable. I was very glad to get out of there!

We took a taxi to the terminal the next morning. Our driver was from Brooklyn and talked non-stop from the time that he picked us up until the minute he dropped us off. He was very entertaining. Once we arrived at the terminal, we found the Platinum embarkation lounge and waited our turn to board. It wasn’t long before they called us and then we were on the ship. I made a bee line for the Sanctuary. This is a section of the ship where you can reserve a plush lounge chair for the whole cruise. I think I was the first person there and I grabbed the two loungers that I wanted.

Then we went over to the buffet and had mediocre food for our lunch. Sigh. I’m on vacation and so far the best meal I’ve had was the chicken fingers at the bar in the Atlanta airport!!! Oh well. Next we walked to make reservations at the Crown Grill for Tuesday night and Sabatini’s for Thursday night. Those will be excellent meals!!!

After the muster drill, Sam and I grabbed a frosty beverage and enjoyed a bit of the sail-away party. Then we ran off to meet the folks that we had gotten to know on www.cruisecritic.com. As I write this, Sam has gone off to the bar with some of the folks his age and I am relaxing before dinner. The movement of the ship is so soothing. I think I might hear a nap calling me!

packing day

2010-05-21T09:13:00.000-07:00

To be precise, it is laundry, last-minute shopping, packing, pedicure and give instructions to the house/dog-sitter day. Naturally I am procrastinating about all of the tasks I still need to do. I do have that first load of laundry in. But I still need to get myself out the door. I am really very talented at doing nothing, if the opportunity to do nothing presents itself.

tornado

2010-05-16T07:55:00.000-07:00

Moving to Memphis has meant getting used to living with tornado watches and warnings. This really didn't mean much to me until I lived through a few situations. I have made one very important observation. Every other type of severe weather is something you gradually become conditioned to. Your first exposure to a lot of snow is frightening, but you are better prepared for the next time. Your first hurricane warning is terrifying, but you learn to create a kit of materials and how and when to evacuate. Tornado activity is different. There is really nothing you can do to prepare, very little warning and survival seems very random. As a result, anxiety levels INCREASE with each exposure.

Looking at this graphic from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, you can see that Memphis is smack in the middle of recorded tornado activity. Ya'll, it is SCARY here during tornado season! I have a weather radio at my college campus that was provided to us by the state of Tennessee. It beeps loudly whenever a weather warning is about to be announced. When that loud beep sounds, everyone stops what they are doing to come over and listen. Last year, a tornado took out the side of a local department store that is halfway between my college campus and my home.

I spent part of a recent Saturday hunkered down in a closet with a cat and a dog. All kinds of thoughts went through my head while I sat in that closet. I thought about the fact that I had no water in there. If we did get hit by a tornado and we managed to survive, but were trapped, we would be in bad shape. After the warning was lifted, I put some water in that closet. I look at it every time I go in there to select my clothes for the day. The more time that passes, the sillier I feel when I look at that water. But I haven't moved it yet!

Each place I have lived has required mental adjustments. I will never forget watching a dust devil, like a mini-tornado, cross the road in front of my car in Phoenix. My mouth hung open as I watched it travel. It was small, so I wasn't scared. Shortly after that, a dust cloud moved across the valley. By then I was safely home. I looked out the window during the worst part and I could not see the building that was just a few hundred feet away. There was a street light next to my building and it looked like rain was blowing in front of that light, but it was just dust.

Yesterday, a terrible storm descended while I was driving home from Nashville. I was about 45 minutes from my exit when the severe thunderstorm warnings began to play on the radio. I watched the sky get darker and darker. Then the rain just dropped out of the sky like a ton of bricks. Traffic on the interstate slowed to about 20 mph. Every car had its blinkers on. It was terrible. When I felt my steering wheel pull to the right, I knew I was getting a flat tire and I thought to myself, "Really? In the middle of this horrible storm, I'm getting a flat tire???" But I suppose I might have been lucky that it happened while we were driving so slowly. It could have happened while I was driving 70+ mph.

So, I limped off at the next exit and found a little Mom & Pop store. I had to spend the night at a creepy motel because the tire place wasn't open until the morning. And I am safely home now. But the anxiety of the whole situation was exhausting! I must tell you that everyone I met along the way was very nice! I kept thinking I was in a horror movie. My imagination is so vivid, that each person I met was a potential axe murderer. I think I was the only guest at the motel. I was too worried about serial killers to think about bedbugs, although I believe the latter was the greater danger. When the wind picked up later in the evening, I did have a moment to think that it would really be sad if a tornado dropped onto the motel while I happened to be there. Just for kicks and giggles, my cell phone was dead. Isn't that just a recipe for a classic horror movie???

Haha no hi

2010-05-09T07:12:00.000-07:00

oh, arizona

2010-05-05T20:41:00.000-07:00

In September 2002, I moved to Arizona to begin working for the same company for which I work today. (Obviously, I am happy with the decision I made!) Having spent many years in the South, I was very accustomed to the constant presence of racism and hatred. In Georgia, this typically would come in the form of outrageous statements made by Caucasian people while in my presence. They assumed that I would agree with whatever was being said, until I made sure that they knew otherwise.

What interested me about Arizona, however, was that the racism was not aimed towards the few African-American people who lived in the Valley of the Sun. Instead, the outrageous statements made by Caucasian people were aimed towards Mexican-Americans and/or Mexicans. Again, I think people thought I would agree, until I made sure that they knew otherwise.

Let me be clear. I'm certainly not suggesting that ALL Caucasian people made outrageous statements to me. In fact, very few did - in Georgia or in Arizona. And I will freely admit that I heard African-American people say things that were openly hostile towards Caucasian people. But I also witnessed many events over the years, that opened my eyes quite a bit. Posted here are just a few. There were many, many more.

Let's go back to 1975. Friday night, riding around in a car with four friends. Two of us are Caucasian and three of us are African-American. We stop to put air in a tire. This is rural North Carolina and the store we stop at is closed. The next thing we know, two cop cars pull up with blue lights flashing and the three African-Americans are thrown to the ground. I and the other Caucasian person are asked if we are okay. Because I am only 16, I don't have any sense and I begin yelling at the cops that they are idiots. Obviously, this does not go over well. Once they figure out that we are not kidnap victims and that we are not attempting to break into the store where we had stopped for air, they let us go. I am furious. My African-American friends, having survived similar situations on multiple occasions, are amused at my reaction.

Fast forward to 1988. A wealthy friend of mine, an African-American, is walking in the Buckhead neighborhood of the city of Atlanta, from point A to point B. Although he is wearing an expensive hand-tailored suit, expensive shoes and is quite well-groomed, he can hear drivers locking their car doors as he passes by. He describes this to me shortly after arriving at his destination. I express indignation. He shrugs his shoulders. He is insulted by the sound of the car locks, but for him it is par for the course.

Fast forward to 1989. I am attending a conference in Jackson, Mississippi. I am one of a handful of Caucasian people from Georgia attending this conference, along with quite a few African-American colleagues. Quite a few states are represented at this meeting and each state has its own hospitality suite. Our suite is the dance floor. We are having a wonderful time, enjoying each other's company, laughing, talking, dancing and playing cards. Suddenly there is a commotion at the door. We all look over and a deputy sheriff is standing at the door to our suite. He is gesturing wildly and yelling at a member of our group. I get up and walk over to see what the problem is. The deputy sheriff is yelling that "you people might get away with this loud partying on your side of the tracks, but you're not going to come over here and be all loud and out of control". Our combined group is spending more money in that hotel than that deputy sheriff will probably earn in his lifetime. He is spitting as he yells. Up close, he is an ugly man, inside and out. One phone call to management removes his ugly butt from our presence, but he has dampened our spirits. It is a reminder that racism can never be behind us.

Fast forward to 1991. I am traveling in a car with my boss, on our way back from a business meeting. It is dusk. Suddenly, the blue lights are flashing behind us. We pull to the side of the road. The police officer signals my boss, an African-American man, to exit the car and walk to the front of the vehicle. My boss complies. I now have a birds-eye view of the cop, who is a Caucasian, screaming at my boss and shaking his finger in his face. This goes on for quite some time. My boss is a brilliant, well-educated man. He stands mutely as the cop screams at him. Finally, he is allowed to return to the car. He gets in and stares straight ahead, breathing slowly. I ask, "What the hell was that about???" My boss shakes his head, turns to me and explains that the cop was upset because one of our headlights is set at an angle that makes it appear to be on bright. He claimed that he spotted it while he was traveling in the opposite direction and turned around to chase us and stop us. This is an obvious lie. We are on a major interstate highway in downtown Atlanta. Even if he did spot a car with a headlight as he described, by the time he turned around at the next exit, we would have been much farther down the road. My boss has been pulled over for DWB - driving while Black.

(Don't jump to the incorrect assumption that I think law enforcement is the problem here. Over the years, beginning in college, I have known and loved many, many law enforcement officers. Just like any profession, there are mostly good people and a few bad apples. Power in the hands of the few bad apples is what causes the problems.)

Fast forward to 2010. Arizona has passed a law that requires people to carry their citizenship paperwork with them. The law also requires police officers to ask for the citizenship paperwork in certain situations and take action if the person asked is unable to produce the paperwork. As I learn about this new law, I am not thinking about abstract concepts such as illegal aliens or political division or even racisim. I am thinking about people in Arizona that I dearly care for - real people - Nadia, Joe, Juana, Anna, Elizabeth. I know what is in store for them. I've lived in Arizona.

What is surprising to me is that intelligent Caucasian people don't seem to get it. They think the Arizona law is about illegal immigration. It's not. It's about car doors being locked when a Black (or Brown) person is coming. It's about being pulled over for DWB. It's about being too loud on this side of the tracks. It gives an excuse for abuse. And anyone who doesn't realize that has never experienced institutionalized racism - or has forgotten, maybe because remembering is too painful. So when I see dear friends joining Facebook groups like "I support the Arizona legislators", I cringe, just like I did in those situations above. White People Behaving Badly - WPBB - is just something I can never get used to.

may day

2010-05-03T05:08:00.000-07:00

My Mother (Jean Jones) was the Associate Dean of Students at Brenau College (now Brenau University) in Gainesville, Georgia from 1968 to 1973. Each year, the students celebrated May Day, including a May Pole which they danced around, weaving long ribbons about the pole. A May Queen was crowned. I wonder if they still do this today. I used to have a bunch of photos of one of those celebrations, but I have no idea where they are now!

It does seem that 2010 is moving at the speed of a bullet train! That is good news when looking ahead to a vacation that begins on May 21st. Yay! It is NOT good news when trying to reach certain benchmarks at my college. I am now DREAMING about these benchmarks at night. If that doesn't show my dedication to the job, I don't know what would!

There was a terrific storm this weekend. I spent part of the weekend hunkered down in a closet with my cat and dog. That was not fun since they are not friends. The dog wants to PLAY. The cat wants nothing to do with the dog. So it was a constant, "Scamp, NO. Scamp, SIT. Scamp, LEAVE JOE ALONE." But each time the weather folks said "take shelter NOW", I obeyed. In the end, we had some pretty heavy storming and a lot of water, but not much tornado damage in Memphis. Outside of Memphis, several people were killed. Nashville had record-breaking rain and massive flooding. Public schools are closed today in Nashville.

The BP oil slick has now reached the barrier islands off the Louisiana and Mississippi coastlines. This is just plain ugly. And it is going to get worse before it gets better. The people in that area are just barely emerging from post-Katrina recovery. They did not need this!!!

imagine if the tea party was black - tim wise

2010-04-28T19:46:00.000-07:00

I've never re-posted an entire post from someone else. But I could not ignore this. It is an eye-opener!!!

"Imagine if the Tea Party Was Black" - Tim Wise

Let’s play a game, shall we? The name of the game is called “Imagine.” The way it’s played is simple: we’ll envision recent happenings in the news, but then change them up a bit. Instead of envisioning white people as the main actors in the scenes we’ll conjure - the ones who are driving the action - we’ll envision black folks or other people of color instead. The object of the game is to imagine the public reaction to the events or incidents, if the main actors were of color, rather than white. Whoever gains the most insight into the workings of race in America, at the end of the game, wins.

So let’s begin.

Imagine that hundreds of black protesters were to descend upon Washington DC and Northern Virginia, just a few miles from the Capitol and White House, armed with AK-47s, assorted handguns, and ammunition. And imagine that some of these protesters —the black protesters — spoke of the need for political revolution, and possibly even armed conflict in the event that laws they didn’t like were enforced by the government? Would these protester — these black protesters with guns — be seen as brave defenders of the Second Amendment, or would they be viewed by most whites as a danger to the republic? What if they were Arab-Americans? Because, after all, that’s what happened recently when white gun enthusiasts descended upon the nation’s capital, arms in hand, and verbally announced their readiness to make war on the country’s political leaders if the need arose.

Imagine that white members of Congress, while walking to work, were surrounded by thousands of angry black people, one of whom proceeded to spit on one of those congressmen for not voting the way the black demonstrators desired. Would the protesters be seen as merely patriotic Americans voicing their opinions, or as an angry, potentially violent, and even insurrectionary mob? After all, this is what white Tea Party protesters did recently in Washington.

Imagine that a rap artist were to say, in reference to a white president: “He’s a piece of shit and I told him to suck on my machine gun.” Because that’s what rocker Ted Nugent said recently about President Obama.

Imagine that a prominent mainstream black political commentator had long employed an overt bigot as Executive Director of his organization, and that this bigot regularly participated in black separatist conferences, and once assaulted a white person while calling them by a racial slur. When that prominent black commentator and his sister — who also works for the organization — defended the bigot as a good guy who was misunderstood and “going through a tough time in his life” would anyone accept their excuse-making? Would that commentator still have a place on a mainstream network? Because that’s what happened in the real world, when Pat Buchanan employed as Executive Director of his group, America’s Cause, a blatant racist who did all these things, or at least their white equivalents: attending white separatist conferences and attacking a black woman while calling her the n-word.

Imagine that a black radio host were to suggest that the only way to get promoted in the administration of a white president is by “hating black people,” or that a prominent white person had only endorsed a white presidential candidate as an act of racial bonding, or blamed a white president for a fight on a school bus in which a black kid was jumped by two white kids, or said that he wouldn’t want to kill all conservatives, but rather, would like to leave just enough—“living fossils” as he called them—“so we will never forget what these people stood for.” After all, these are things that Rush Limbaugh has said, about Barack Obama’s administration, Colin Powell’s endorsement of Barack Obama, a fight on a school bus in Belleville, Illinois in which two black kids beat up a white kid, and about liberals, generally.

Imagine that a black pastor, formerly a member of the U.S. military, were to declare, as part of his opposition to a white president’s policies, that he was ready to “suit up, get my gun, go to Washington, and do what they trained me to do.” This is, after all, what Pastor Stan Craig said recently at a Tea Party rally in Greenville, South Carolina.

Imagine a black radio talk show host gleefully predicting a revolution by people of color if the government continues to be dominated by the rich white men who have been “destroying” the country, or if said radio personality were to call Christians or Jews non-humans, or say that when it came to conservatives, the best solution would be to “hang ‘em high.” And what would happen to any congressional representative who praised that commentator for “speaking common sense” and likened his hate talk to “American values?” After all, those are among the things said by radio host and best-selling author Michael Savage, predicting white revolution in the face of multiculturalism, or said by Savage about Muslims and liberals, respectively. And it was Congressman Culbertson, from Texas, who praised Savage in that way, despite his hateful rhetoric.

Imagine a black political commentator suggesting that the only thing the guy who flew his plane into the Austin, Texas IRS building did wrong was not blowing up Fox News instead. This is, after all, what Anne Coulter said about Tim McVeigh, when she noted that his only mistake was not blowing up the New York Times.

Imagine that a popular black liberal website posted comments about the daughter of a white president, calling her “typical redneck trash,” or a “whore” whose mother entertains her by “making monkey sounds.” After all that’s comparable to what conservatives posted about Malia Obama on freerepublic.com last year, when they referred to her as “ghetto trash.”

Imagine that black protesters at a large political rally were walking around with signs calling for the lynching of their congressional enemies. Because that’s what white conservatives did last year, in reference to Democratic party leaders in Congress.

In other words, imagine that even one-third of the anger and vitriol currently being hurled at President Obama, by folks who are almost exclusively white, were being aimed, instead, at a white president, by people of color. How many whites viewing the anger, the hatred, the contempt for that white president would then wax eloquent about free speech, and the glories of democracy? And how many would be calling for further crackdowns on thuggish behavior, and investigations into the radical agendas of those same people of color?

To ask any of these questions is to answer them. Protest is only seen as fundamentally American when those who have long had the luxury of seeing themselves as prototypically American engage in it. When the dangerous and dark “other” does so, however, it isn’t viewed as normal or natural, let alone patriotic. Which is why Rush Limbaugh could say, this past week, that the Tea Parties are the first time since the Civil War that ordinary, common Americans stood up for their rights: a statement that erases the normalcy and “American-ness” of blacks in the civil rights struggle, not to mention women in the fight for suffrage and equality, working people in the fight for better working conditions, and LGBT folks as they struggle to be treated as full and equal human beings.

And this, my friends, is what white privilege is all about. The ability to threaten others, to engage in violent and incendiary rhetoric without consequence, to be viewed as patriotic and normal no matter what you do, and never to be feared and despised as people of color would be, if they tried to get away with half the shit we do, on a daily basis.

Game Over.

Tim Wise is among the most prominent anti-racist writers and activists in the U.S. Wise has spoken in 48 states, on over 400 college campuses, and to community groups around the nation. Wise has provided anti-racism training to teachers nationwide, and has trained physicians and medical industry professionals on how to combat racial inequities in health care. His latest book is called Between Barack and a Hard Place.

dreaming

2010-04-24T07:49:00.000-07:00

Scamp snoozes beside me on the sofa, twitching and running in his sleep, little "mphs" escaping from the side of his mouth as he runs after - or runs from - whatever he is dreaming about. Should I shake him and wake him up? Is it a nightmare? Or is he happily chasing his brothers and sisters, now gone from him forever? I should get him a companion. No! I can NOT have a dog! The only reason I have him is that he suddenly appeared in the neighborhood and I have not been able to locate his real owners.

Last night, I dreamed I was living in Atlanta in a small apartment that had a private garden behind it. (Is that even possible?) I was sitting in the garden on a lounge chair, talking with my friend Holly. My dreams always feature me, happy, somewhere other than here. It's probably just a reaction to the daily stress of my current job.

Lucid dreaming is when you are dreaming, but you are aware that you are dreaming. That hasn't happened to me in a long time. The last time was when I was living in Phoenix. It was extremely disturbing. I dreamed that I woke up and opened my eyes, but could not move. There was someone in the house with me. The person, a male, came into my room and I was terrified, but could not move or scream. This type of sleep paralysis is much-described and studied. There are lots of studies about it, but no definitive answers.

Have you ever had this experience? Were you frightened?

There are a lot of song lyrics about dreams and dreaming. Here is These Dreams, from Heart:

The sweetest song is silence that I've ever heard.
Funny how your feet in dreams never touch the Earth.
In a wood full of princes, freedom is a kiss.
But the Prince hides his face from dreams in the mist.

Here is I Dreamed a Dream from Les Miserables:

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted

Here is I Dream, I Dream, by Babyface:

I dream, I dream
I dream of you
All day long and all day thru
I dream, i dream oooh baby
I dream of you
All day long I dream of you

Here is Dream a Little Dream of Me, by Louis Armstrong:

Say nighty-night and kiss me
Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me
While I'm alone and blue as can be
Dream a little dream of me

What is your favorite song about dreaming? What did you dream about last night?

choo-nally-picky-picky-simba-folly-bum

2010-04-20T20:36:00.000-07:00

(You have to say those words really fast and with a nice rhythm. It's kind of a song. It means, "There is no point in getting worried about it. Just let it go." It can also mean, "Whatever!")

She came home from work and was immediately hit in the nose with an odor that she could not identify. So she walked through the house sniffing, first in the laundry room (did she leave some damp clothes in the washer too long), then in the kitchen (was something left out on the counter), then in the bedroom (did the cat pee on the pile of dirty clothes) and finally in the bathroom (had the dirty towels in the hamper finally ripened to a funky smellfest). Nothing jumped out and identified itself.

She heard the faint sound of the Isley Brothers. She dug her cell phone out of her purse and flipped it open. Before she could give a greeting, her Mother started talking.

"Dear Girl, I have been trying so long to reach you, but you simply will not answer the phone! Your sister told me that you were having trouble at work and I told her that people never appreciate when they have someone who is committed and always attempts to go beyond the call of duty."

"Mom, I am not having trouble at work."

"Nonsense, your sister already told me. I am coming to take you to lunch tomorrow and you must tell me all about it."

"Mother, there are no problems at work right now, Everything is fine! But there is a problem here at home."

"Oh?"

"Yes. There is a terrible smell in my apartment and I can not figure out where it's coming from."

"Choo-nally-picky-picky-simba-folly-bum, darling."

"That is easy for you to say, Mother. You aren't smelling it right now!"

Her Mother did not respond. "Hello?" There was nobody there. This could mean only one thing. She was on her way right now.

Nooooooo!

Why did she say anything? Now she would have to stand by while her mother searched the entire apartment to try to find the smell. And before she left, her mother would extract a promise from her to attend some event, the sole purpose of which would be to introduce her to an eligible doctor or lawyer or some other similarly "suitable" man, when in fact she would actually be more attracted to one of the waiters! Bother!!!

je veux voir le monde

2010-04-18T12:21:00.000-07:00

MSN is currently featuring an essential travel experience list. These are the sixteen places that MSN thinks one should visit during one's lifetime, each with its own specified activity:

1. Go surfing in Hawaii
2. See the Statue of Liberty in New York City
3. Visit a Parisian cafe'
4. Hit the beach in Southern California
5. Tango in Argentina
6. Take tea in England
7. Go clubbing in Miami
8. Reflect in a Japanese garden
9. See the Pacific Northwest Orcas
10.Tour the Washington monuments
11. Dive the Great Barrier Reef
12. Cruise Chicago Architecture
13. Shop for turquoise in the Southwest
14. Ride a funicular in the Alps
15. Go fishing in Baja California
16. Hear music in Nashville

This list won't work for me in its entirety. It will require some adjusting. So, let's see - what is CJM's travel bucket list? Here goes ...

1. Go surfing in Hawaii? No. I would like to go to Hawaii. But I don't want to go surfing. But I will happily take a tour of the islands, eat lots of seafood, hike trails to see spectacular waterfalls, interact with locals, eat lots of seafood, make a lei, shop for something that is uniquely Hawaiian, eat lots of seafood ... well, you get the idea.

2. See the Statue of Liberty in New York City? I've already done that. My father and stepmother and I took my niece, Genevieve and my nephew, Chuck, to see the Statue of Liberty. It is incredible to think about the history of Ellis Island and to imagine what early immigrants thought when they saw it for the first time. In October, I sailed past it on the Caribbean Princess. So what will I replace this with? How about if I go see the Christ the Redeemer statue in Rio de Janeiro? Yes, I think that is an appropriate substitution!

3. Visit a Parisian cafe'? Not interested. Oh, I know how that makes me sound. Everyone should want to do this at least once. But I just don't. I'd rather take a train trip across Canada. I would love to see Lake Louise and Banff. And since the trip would probably end in Vancouver, why not tack on a few days there as well so I can see Stanley Park and the harbor and EAT.

4. Hit the beach in Southern California? My skin burns if someone says the word SUN to me. So, a day at the beach will not be happening for me any time soon. Can I substitute Disneyland? Yes! I've been to Disney World many times, but have never been to Disneyland.

5. Tango in Argentina. Hmmmm. I will admit that this appeals, but only if I can have a partner that I have been dancing with for a long time. This could still happen for me, but the odds are probably not in my favor. So, I will be satisfied with watching tango and drinking Mate. And perhaps I will get to meet some gauchos.

6. Take tea in England. Yes! I would love to do this. Of course I would also want to do and see about a hundred other things in Great Britain. And if I was over there, I would want to travel to Scotland to see my family's origins.

7. Go clubbing in Miami. No, no, no, no, no. Instead, I will travel to Miami to eat at the five best restaurants there. In August and September, Miami hosts Miami Spice, a celebration of fine dining. The top restaurants offer their signature dishes at reduced prices as a promotion. Lunch is $22 and dinner is $35.

8. Reflect in a Japanese garden. Well, now you're talking!!! I would love to go back to Japan. I lived there from age ten months to just before my 6th birthday. As a result, I am very comforted by all things Japanese. So, yes!

9. See the Pacific Northwest Orcas. I wonder if they made this list before or after that orca at Sea World killed his trainer. Oh, I know. You can't really judge the entire species by the actions of this captive creature. He was never meant to be in a big tank with humans. He was meant to be in the ocean, swimming free. But the ocean scares me anyway, with or without orcas. So I am unlikely to be riding around in a dingy looking for giant creatures that might knock the boat over and drag me around underwater in a orcan (orcish?) version of tag. No, I will happily view orcas from a huge cruise ship OR at the aforementioned Sea World. Now, do I need a substitute? No, I will go on a cruise to Alaska and see the orcas - hopefully. Unlike Sea World, orcas in the ocean don't appear on command, which is fine by me.

10. Tour the Washington monuments. I started to respond that I have already done this - and I have. But there is new stuff in DC that wasn't there the last time that I went. So, I would like to go do this. I wish I could talk my Dad into going with me. But this city would require a lot of time standing and walking, which he can't do for long periods of time without being in pain. Maybe I can talk my sister into going. I would like to see the Holocaust Memorial Museum and the World War II Museum.

11. Dive the Great Barrier Reef. If you've been reading this blog carefully, you already know the answer to this one. So I will need a substitution. How about Australia? That is about as close to the Great Barrier Reef as you can get without being in the water! I would like to spend 6 months in Australia, traveling the country with local guides to see the cities and the outback. I think this would be quite wonderful!

12. Cruise Chicago architecture. This actually sounds pretty interesting. It's a boat tour on the Chicago River. I would be okay with that. I've been to Chicago a couple of times. It is a very clean city. But it also has its share of pan handlers and mentally ill living on the street. This is just not my cup of tea. So, I would do this river tour if I happened to find myself in Chicago, but I would not choose to travel to Chicago for a vacation.

13. Shop for turquoise in the Southwest. I would love to do this. In fact, I have done this! But I would happily do it again! And if I can work out a stay at Enchantment, that would be even better!

14. Ride a funicular in the Alps. I would do this. But I think my bucket list would be more likely to include Machu Picchu. I wish they had a funicular to take you to the top there! Well, maybe not, as the effort to build one would probably destroy something important. No, I will hike up the old fashioned way.

15. Go fishing in Baja California. Again - small boat, big ocean. No. But I would like to cruise from San Diego down to the Mexican Riviera including Cabo San Lucas, Ixtapa, Zihuatanejo, Puerto Vallarta and Acapulco.

16. Hear Music in Nashville. Well, I have done this many times. What I would prefer is to MAKE music in Nashville. I would love to have time on my hands to write more music and to attempt to get it recorded by musicians. This is the dream that about a hundred thousand other people have, so it is highly unlikely! But you never know!!!!

And what would I add? I thought you'd never ask!

17. French Polynesia. I spent 10 days here in 2008, cruising from one island to the next. This time, I would stay at some other-worldly resort where I could just vegetate and have massages and eat incredible seafood and sail on catamarans. I know what you're thinking! I've been very clear about not wanting to be on the ocean in a small boat! But this is different. Most islands in French Polynesia are surrounded by a barrier reef, which creates a big lagoon. Yes, sea life can get in and does! But usually this does not include creatures who might eat me. There are black-tipped sharks, but they are well fed by locals who feed them for the viewing pleasure of tourists. Besides, the water is pretty calm.

18. There are some cities in the USA that I would like to see - either for the first time or for a repeat visit. These include San Diego, Seattle, San Antonio, San Francisco, Savannah, Charleston, and Atlanta.

19. There are some places in the USA that I would like to explore too. These include Yellowstone National Park, Napa Valley, the Outer Banks, Niagara Falls and a return visit to Carlsbed Caverns.

20. UNESCO World Heritage sites!

21. Finally, as a catch-all category, I would like to be able to set foot in every state in the USA and in many countries of the world, with the exception of any place where people are currently shooting at each other or where I would be in danger. That is just not my idea of a good time!

Hmmm - I better get started!

And now you get your say. Where do you want to go? What do you want to see? When and where are you traveling next?

ego, Eggo, ergo, eager. Edgar

2010-04-13T18:53:00.000-07:00

Keenly aware am I, that most people begin a blog entry with an IDEA. But I didn't have an IDEA, so I began with a title. I typed five words - ego, Eggo, ergo, eager, Edgar. Let's see if I can do anything interesting with those five words. You tell me how I did at the end.

Oh, the ego. Try as I might, I can not let go of I, me, mine. All through the day, all through the night, I think about (and dream about) how things affect me and what impact I have on others. I work hard to develop a generosity of spirit and I practise random acts of kindness and I think I'm being - or becoming - a better version of myself. But oh, my ego. It will step up and demand attention. "What about me," my ego whines. I pout and allow myself to sink into that pathetic place where I once again convince myself that I should be somewhere else, chasing dreams I allowed to slip away when a younger face smiled back at me from mirrors I surveyed. Reboot! The more I focus on people and things outside myself, the happier I become. Will I ever defeat this battle of will with my SELF? Probably not. But I will continue to try.

This morning I had Eggo waffles for breakfast. The toaster must be carefully watched because I have had it forever and if left to its own devices, it will burn those waffles. Every time I look at my Williams-Sonoma catalog, I drool over an All-Clad waffle maker they offer for sale for the reasonable price of $199.95. Now you know why I don't own one! But I would love to make fresh waffles in the morning. But then, wouldn't I need freshly squeezed orange juice? And real maple syrup? Never mind. I'll stick with the Eggos. A few months ago, my local grocer had signs posted indicating that there would soon be a shortage of Eggos. If a time ever came when there were no Eggos available, I never noticed it!

Since I had already decided to write about the word ergo, with no good reason as to why, I found myself with a serious case of writer's block. So I did what all bloggers claim that they never do - I Googled. Disturbing find number one is ERGO, which stands for the Euthanasia Research & Guidance Association. Their website has lots of publications about assisted suicide. I don't have a problem with assisted suicide, provided I am being assisted by people I know and trust. But I'm not sure I am ready to trust other people with this authority. Disturbing find number two is Ergot of Rye, which is not really fair since it is an entirely different word, but I can't control what comes up in Google now can I!?! Anyway, one theory behind the hallucinations that became the foundation of the Salem witch trials, is that the rye used to make the bread had been infected with a fungus. When people ate the bread, they hallucinated. Because the community was very religious, people assumed the visions were the work of the devil. Scary stuff!!! (I bet you believed that the girls were purposely making false accusations and the others were just caught up in the frenzy and followed along like mindless robots. Silly, mean girls! That is the standard story.)

I'm eager to go on my vacation, which is still more than a month away. On Saturday morning I am getting my hair done, which will be a mini-vacation. Maybe I will see if I can get a massage too. I can't afford to get too relaxed though because I still have a lot of work to get done at the school. I'm eager to cook something yummy this weekend. I would love to make that chicken-sweet potato-black bean stew that I made a while ago. It was so easy. Maybe I will. Right this minute, I am eager to eat some dinner! Here are some synonyms of eager: desirous; gung ho; fervent; agog. I love the word agog.

I meant to place another comma after the word eager in the title of this blog entry. I accidentally put a period instead. So - Edgar stands alone. Edgar Allen Poe stood alone. He was an American author who dabbled in the macabre and helped establish the beginnings of the science fiction genre. Edgard Cayce was an American who claimed to channel spirits while in a self-induced trance. There is still a current organization, Edgar Cayce's Association for Research and Enlightenment, which seems to encourage the study of many different subjects, including Atlantis, dream interpretation, the Mayan calendar (especially the year 2012) and lots of other odd ideas. So, Edgard Cayce definitely stood alone! Edgar Degas stood alone because even though he was one of the first artists to be called an Impressionist, he rejected the term.

I am done, but I don't feel like I'm done. Okay, I will leave you with this last thought, which has nothing to do with anything that came before this:

Zen is not easy.
It takes effort to achieve nothingness.
And then what do you have?
Bupkes.
(Zen and the Art of Jewish Motorcycle Maintenance)

tax day

2010-04-12T20:18:00.000-07:00

It seems like April had just begun and BANG! There are only three more days until tax day. It's hard to believe! Time moves faster than I would like it to. There are too many tasks and not enough time. After playing Grammy for a few days, I am back to being just little old me in this big old house. I am experiencing an urge to downsize! I want to sell - or give away - a LOT of stuff! Is that normal for middle age?

bunnies and eggs

2010-04-04T06:16:00.000-07:00

It is Easter Sunday and I am watching CBS News Sunday Morning with Charles Osgood, which is easily one of my favorite shows on television. I love the short stories on a wide variety of subjects. It might just be this show that has inspired me to produce my variety blog entries here. I like the idea of dropping little tidbits of information about related - or unrelated - subjects based on a common theme. Today's theme is bunnies and eggs - a very Eastery subject!

I grew up watching Saturday morning cartoons while my Mom and sister slept in a bit. Happily eating my bowl of Captain Crunch cereal - as much as I wanted, because nobody was there to stop me - I enjoyed the Fintstones, Top Cat, Hanna-Barbera (remember Pennelopi Pittstop?) and, of course, the Bugs Bunny/Road Runner duo. Bugs Bunny was (is) a wise-cracking smarty-pants who easily outsmarted any and all enemies. For a kid who was always picked last for basketball, I liked the idea of this independent character who casually handled any and all comers. Come to think of it, the Road Runner had a similar theme. I wonder if the creator of these cartoons was always last to be picked for basketball too?

I sent this image to quite a few of my work colleagues yesterday. Every time I look at it, I laugh again. Mom always looked for chocolate bunnies for our Easter baskets. She wanted white chocolate for herself. And she wanted solid chocolate - none of those hollow bunnies for our family! We had standards! When my son was little, I didn't have a lot of money, particularly during the years that I wasn't receiving child support. So, I bought a pretty basket and used it every year, adding new "grass" and lots of candy and small inedible treats like temporary tattoos and race cars. Sam was easy to please. As long as he could gorge on candy and Peeps, he was delighted. I still have his basket, even though he is almost 23.

Anne Geddes has a way of capturing the absolute sweetness of babies and young children. I love this baby in a bunny suit. The baby looks positively delighted. Wouldn't you like to have a bunny suit like this? Or is there some other costume you'd rather wear?

Because my family lived in Japan for ten years, our homes always contained multiple Japanese objets d'art. The image to the right really appeals to me because it is obviously Japanese, but also because there are dozens of bunnies hidden in it. In Japanese tradition, bunnies live on the Moon. The dark patches on the Moon are said to resemble a standing rabbit who is pounding on a mortar to produce mochi, a sticky rice snack. I like the idea of hiding things in conspicuous places. I always enjoyed Where's Waldo, for this reason. And I will confess that I frequently play hidden image computer games.

I love to read about artists or computer programmers who hide images or words in places. These are referred to as Easter eggs. (You were wondering when I would get to the eggs, weren't you!) Bruce Plante is a cartoonist who deliberately hid his mother Nina's name somewhere in almost every cartoon he drew. He later said that he regretted having done this because people seemed to look at his cartoons only to find the hidden Nina, rather than to absorb the message of the cartoon. Sometimes these Easter eggs are accidental. Can you spot the three actual Easter eggs that can be found in scenes in The Rocky Horror Picture Show? The crew had an egg hunt during the filming of the movie and a few eggs were missed! Then there are the hidden Mickey Mouse images that can be found on every Disney property. I took Sam on a Disney cruise when he was young and he and his friend spent the entire cruise looking for the hidden Mickeys on that ship. It was amazing how many of them were there! Can you spot the hidden Mickey in the picture on the left?

What bunny or egg thoughts popped (or should I say peeped) into your head while you were reading this? I hope your Easter is filled with the promise of rebirth and finding truths that have been hidden to you up until they are gloriously revealed to you today!

close your eyes

2010-03-30T20:45:00.000-07:00

There is this thing that I do when I am stressed out. I close my eyes and take myself back to Bora Bora in French Polynesia. My best friend and I traveled there in April 2008 to celebrate our birthdays and that trip remains the most amazing vacation I have ever taken.

But it is a sunset catamaran ride around the Bora Bora lagoon that floats through my mind's eye when I sit with my eyes closed. I am lying face down on the sail, looking down into the water, trailing my hand through the water, enjoying a breeze across my body and in my hair. I am feeling as far away from home as I have ever felt. I hear the Polynesian band playing behind me. I hear people talking around me. The sun is slowly setting and the colors are amazing. I am smiling, smiling, smiling.

I also like to jump forward to my next trip to experience that calm. So right now, I close my eyes and imagine sitting on my reserved padded lounge chair in the Sanctuary on the Emerald Princess, which is now less than two months away. I don't even care where that ship goes. All I want is to sit on the lounge chair and vegetate.

Close your eyes. Where are you and what are you doing?

final four

2010-03-28T16:58:00.001-07:00

This NCAA tournament has been a doozy! My brackets were almost detroyed before we even made it to the Elite Eight. Almost everyone I spoke with has said the same. Today, the Final Four was decided with a Duke victory over Baylor. I am usually a Tarheels fan, but since they were not in the tournament, I reverted to my second favorite, Duke, which I picked to win the whole thing. That seemed unlikely at the beginning of the tournament, but is slightly more likely now!!!

No matter what, this is shaping up to be an interesting NCAA final!!!

london, ontario ... and a little detroit

2010-03-22T14:42:00.000-07:00

My sister Lenore, a new widow, is now responsible for the care of her mother-in-law, Ursula. She wanted to travel to Ontario, Canada, to ensure that all of the legal and medical issues were addressed right away so that the quality care for her mother-in-law would continue uninterrupted. She asked me to travel with her for moral support, which I was delighted to do.

Lenore lives in Hoboken, New Jersey. I live in Memphis, Tennessee. We looked at lots of cities near London, Ontario and finally settled on Detroit, Michigan.

We flew into Detroit early on Thursday morning, timing our arrivals from separate cities in hopes that we would arrive at approximately the same time. Happily, I stepped off the plane and found my sister waiting for me. We grabbed a rental car and set out for Canada. Well, we tried!!!!! We drove this way and that, this way and that, this way and that. Detroit apparently enjoys playing jokes on visitors who are trying to find the bridge to Canada!! We drove and drove and drove, laughing hysterically at our inability to find our way. It really was ridiculous!

We FINALLY found the correct exit off the highway. Then we drove through the most ungodly mess of construction to approach the actual bridge. The Ambassador Bridge is privately owned by a Canadian citizen who charges a toll to cross it. Currently there is a big controversy regarding the bridge. Detroit is planning to build a new bridge downriver from the Ambassador. The owner of the Ambassador is finally trying to sell. It might be too late! At the Canadian border, the agent asked a few standard questions. Where are you traveling to? Of which country are you a citizen? How long will you be in Canada? Then we were free to go! We drove about three hours to London, Ontario and arrived at the apartment that my sister and her husband have rented, which is across the street from the facility where Ursula lives. That first night, our dinner consisted of instant oatmeal that I had brought with me. I'm not sure why I brought it, but it was good! Then, Lenore settled in to the bedroom and I settled on the sofa from hell. Now to be fair to my sister, she did invite me to share the bed. But I am such a light sleeper that I knew I would not be able to sleep. I did sleep - some - on that short sofa.

The next morning, we set out to run errands. The first stop was the attorney's office. Throughout the city of London, there are houses made of a pale yellow brick. The lawyer's office was in one of these old homes. He told me that the house had a double layer of brick rather than just a brick facade. My photo really doesn't do it justice. It just looks like a house that is painted yellow. But that really is yellow brick, which I found out is the same type of clay used to make red brick. This clay simply has very little iron, so doesn't have that red color. With the business concluded, we set out for our next stop.

But before we left the attorney's yard, we enjoyed the sight of these flowers poking through the dirt. Spring was in the air!

And on his front porch, the attorney had some necessary tools for those long winters. Ugh. I do not ever want to shovel snow again!

There were several more stops that day. In the evening, we set out to find a Japanese restaurant. We didn't find it, but we found a different Japanese restaurant than the one we were looking for - on the same street! We had tempura and sushi and green tea. We spent the first half decade of our lives in Japan, so we are both comforted by Japanese food.

Saturday morning, we had one errand left to run. On the way there and back, we found some sights seen only in Canada and some seen only in London, Ontario:

The black squirrel is just a melanistic variety of the Grey Squirrel. But since I have not seen many of them, I was enchanted by the sight of one.

In downtown London, Ontario, there are a number of colorful metal trees. I think they are beautiful!

There are lots of different colors!

Let's talk about LaBatt's beer. On second thought, let's have some Labatt's beer!

Tim Hortons in Canada is like Dunkin Donuts in New Jersey. They make great donuts! Lenore and I bought some to have for breakfast on Sunday morning. They are also rumored to have good coffee, but I didn't have any of that, so I can not testify.

I'm sure my Canadian friends will think it's silly that I took a picture of this mail truck. But it was new to me, so I decided to capture it for posterity!

I liked the Canadian flag on this Greyhound bus.

This is the facility that Lenore's mother-in-law lives in. Notice the yellow brick! We saw that yellow brick everywhere! The folks who work at the facility are just wonderful. They were so sweet and loving to my sister, knowing that she had just lost her husband.

Dutch Elm disease arrived in Ontario in 1967 and wiped out about 80% of the trees existing at that time. Throughout Eastern Canada, you will find the trunks of Elm trees that have been left standing and have been carved into gorgeous pieces of art. You can see the carving in front of the facility in the picture above. This picture is a close-up of a portion of the carving. It looks like a little nuthatch to me. But I could be wrong.

Back at the apartment, Lenore brought out the snacks. Everything in this part of Canada has product labels in English and French. Perhaps it is like that throughout Canada. I don't know! But here are some noix d'acajou or cashew nuts.

I looked in the kitchen cabinet and found some Chaudree de Palourdes du Maine, also known as New England Clam Chowder.

But we saved the best for last. On our last night in London, we drove over to the same area we had been to the night before to look for a Thai restaurant. We found it, but decided we didn't like the looks of it. Then Lenore spotted the sign for the Japanese restaurant we had been looking for the night before. We decided to go there. I rarely find myself NOT interested in Japanese food. I had the tempura again:

Lenore had the oyako donburi:

Then we shared some ginger ice cream:

Sunday morning, we took Ursula to her church, where she was warmly greeted by members who had known her for years and years. During the service, there was a short memorial prayer for John. Then the rector invited Lenore and Ursula up to the front of the congregation. Church members draped their shoulders with prayer shawls and together they lit a remembrance candle for John. It was lovely. Afterwards we were joined by Shirley, a friend of Ursula's, for lunch at a nearby restaurant. It was a joyous gathering!

Some postscripts:

My sister did all of the driving on this trip. It was not easy for her, because she has not done a lot of driving in her lifetime. It was not easy for me, because I both LOVE to drive AND I had to give up control. But it was really good for her to have the time behind the wheel. And she did a great job!!!

My sister and I always end up having at least one disagreement when we are together. But in the end, I know she is in my corner and will never leave me. And she knows the same about me. That is the richest gift. I'm so glad that she let me go with her on this trip. I love you, Lenore!!!

When we crossed the border back into Canada, the border guard (is that the right term?) was about 50 times better at cross-examining us than the Canadian border guard had been. It was pretty impressive! He really peppered us with the questions!!!

daylight savings time

2010-03-14T17:04:00.000-07:00

We sprang forward last night. All the timepieces in my house (Blackberry, cable box, alarm clock) auto-set themselves, so I didn't have to remember. But I found myself recalling a Sunday of long ago when Mother forgot to set the clocks before we went to bed one Saturday night and we ended up missing church. It was a rare Sunday holiday and we stayed in our pajamas and ate lunch at 11 a.m. It was baked chicken. Yum.

What do you remember, if anything, about Daylight Savings and your childhood?

cheerwine

2010-03-13T17:36:00.000-08:00

In 1973, my mother relocated our little family from Gainesville, Georgia to Misenheimer, North Carolina when she accepted the position of Associate Dean of Students at Pfeiffer College (now Pfeiffer University). This was the summer prior to my 10th grade year and my sister's 11th grade year.

I was born in Durham, North Carolina at Duke University Hospital, but we moved to Japan before my first birthday and had not lived in NC since that time. But North Carolina had me by the heartstrings because we spent a part of every summer with grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins galore in Montreat, North Carolina.

A few minutes ago, I became a Fan of Cheerwine on Facebook and a whole lot of North Carolina memories flooded through my brain.

Cheerwine: I love this sweet elixer. You can't usually find it outside of the state of NC, but you will hear someone say "I found it at the store in ______," and everyone will react with shock. I loved Cheerwine. It was my favorite bottled drink in high school. I've even heard that there is an ice cream or sherbet made in this flavor. I would love to have some of that!

Wink's: This was a little diner type joint on Highway 52 in Albemarle. Back then, you backed your car into a parking space around the U-shaped lot and honked your horn to summon a waitress, who sometimes arrived on roller skates. (This was in the 1970's!) I always ordered the same thing - a cheeseburger, fries and a Cherry-Lemon-Sundrop. Yummy!

Moon Pond: I can't tell you why.

Albemarle High School talent show: AHS was the arch rival of the high school that I attended, North Stanly High School. But the year my rock band competed in the talent show that was staged at AHS, we won. Most of us either still attended or had graduated from NSHS. It was funny. They got revenge by putting a picture of us in their yearbook that was a two-page spread. I was right in the center and looked like I weighed 200 pounds because of the way the photo was split. (I would love to have that photo today!!!)

John's Tavern: Sausage pizza, cheeseburger basket, disco light ball; picnic tables on each side of the dance floor, a bartender named Munchkin, gravel parking lot, laughter, dancing, driving the back roads home (or back to the dorm in later years), fending off intoxicated young men, Cardinal Puff for the very first time this evening, flirting with other young men, 25 cent beer (was it Red, White & Blue beer?) and pitchers of draft.

Tomato Greenhouses owned by Gene Pickler: For quite some time, I planted, grew and picked tomatoes for my pocket money. That was hard labor! It made attending college easy because I found that I did not want to do hard labor. I shared this part-time job with two full-time faculty members from Pfeiffer, who did the work for extra pocket money. They were both nutcases, but a LOT of fun!

McDonald's in Albemarle: The closest McDonald's to Misenheimer was 20 minutes away. One never made the drive alone, because that would be a waste of gas and labor. It was, at best, a full carload of people. For one dollar, I got a cheeseburger, small fries and a small Coke.

Computer Room: The first computer at Pfeiffer took up an entire room! You had to sign up to use it and all it did was crunch numbers. Word processing hadn't been invented yet! Neither had email or the Internet. I thought I was very fortunate to have an electric typrewriter with BUILT IN correction tape - very fancy!!!

Cockfeathers: I helped to produce the secret, "underground" newspaper on the Pfeiffer campus. It wasn't much of a secret because lots of people knew. All parties involved in that newspaper are now contributing members of society. It was so much fun sneaking around in the dead of night delivering that paper. Tee hee!

First Stop: Pfeiffer sat in a dry county, so you had to drive to the county line to buy alcohol. The closest little country store was aptly named.

Morrow Mountain: I loved this state park. I remember driving over there several times with different friends. For some reason, I associate this place with "My Faith is Blind", a song recorded by Phoebe Snow. I can remember driving up the mountain with that song playing on my cassette tape deck.

These were just random memories that flew through my mind. I could keep going for days and days.

"In my mind, I'm goin' to Carolina

Can't you see the sunshine

Can't you just feel the moonshine

Ain't it just like a friend of mine

It hit me from behind

Yes I'm gone to Carolina in my mind"

(James Taylor)

Shall we go to Carolina, you and I?

bye, john

2010-03-07T06:41:00.000-08:00

My brother-in-law, John Peterson, passed away last Sunday. I traveled north to attend his funeral and to be with my sister. I first flew to Allentown, Pennsylvania to my father and stepmother's home. Then the three of us drove over to Newark to pick up Ursula, John's cousin who came all the way from Scotland to attend the service. We arrived at Lenore's apartment in Hoboken, New Jersey about three hours before the beginning of the visitation at the church. There we found the usual gathering of brilliant, unusual people that make up Lenore's family circle of friends.

After Lenore graduated from Michigan State University in the 80's, she relocated to Hoboken, New Jersey along with most of her friends from MSU. John attended Yale, but came to know the group, collectively known as The Hobbits, by way of a friend with whom he worked. For almost 30 years this group has gathered and gnoshed and debated the issues of the day. They have sung and played games and shared interesting trivia and argued over obscure ideas and events. They have loved each other and fought with each other and supported each other. And in this, my sister's saddest hours, they have gathered round and embraced her and loved her and worried over her. They are a blessing to her and to us, her birth family.

John grew up in London, Ontario in Canada. He was a brilliant man and knew something about everything, it seemed to me. No matter where we were or what we were doing, John would comment on something that was relevant to where we were or the topic we were discussing. He just knew.

My relationship with my brother-in-law wasn't all rosy. He was used to being in charge and so was I, so we bumped heads when we were together. I experienced resentment when he got his way and he clearly did not like it when I had my way. I spent most of my life in the South where men cater to women, carrying their bags and opening doors. John was a very nice man, but he was not interested in catering to me!!! Intellectually, I recognized this as being perfectly fine. Emotionally, I experienced it as being abandoned and uncared for, which made no sense, but was still part of the dynamic.

John and I still managed to have some fun moments. One early morning in Montreat, North Carolina, we both woke up early and took off in the rental car for a drive on the Blue Ridge Parkway while Lenore slept. The views from that road were just gorgeous that morning. John stopped in a rest area because he knew of a little hiking trail. I don't hike, but got out of the car and followed him up the trail. I didn't make it far before I was heaving for oxygen! John patiently waited each time I had to stop, finally going on alone to the summit, with my blessing! This was followed by a descent, in the rental car, down a twisty, gravel service road, which scared the daylights out of me. Part way down, we came to a waterfall. We got out and I took a picture of it with my brand new digital camera. I accidentally discovered that I could take a short video of the waterfall and did. I watched it just last night, enjoying the beautiful images and listening to John's voice in the background. It made me remember that day so clearly.

Just after John got sick, I called to talk with Lenore. A conversation with her was never just the two of us, unless she was home alone. Because of her hearing impairment, my side of the conversation was loud enough that John could always hear everything that I said. So he would participate in the conversation. I could never hear what he said, so Lenore would have to repeat it. I remember asking him if he had started his Bucket List. He laughed and thanked me for not saying something sympathetic or pitying. After that, I called more frequently and our conversations included the latest news, as well as laughter over something silly that I would ask or say. I called once when Lenore was bathing John. I said I would call back but John said no, he wanted me to stay on the phone to cheer him. So I sang him the Rubber Ducky Song, which I happen to have memorized. ("Rubber Ducky, joy of joys, when I squeeze you, you make noise ...") This became somewhat of a tradition. When they traveled to Montreal, they called me to ask me to sing it in French. Undaunted, I translated the entire song using an online translator, and sang the song in French. ("Canard plastique, joie de joies ...") I also gave them many rubber duckies, some of which joined John in the tub each time he bathed.

My own brother is almost ten years older than me. He is a bit of a recluse, so I rarely interact with him. My other brother-in-law and I are not close. John was a brother to me, with equal parts affection and annoyance, as any brother/sister relationship should be! He was a perfect match for my sister. I can't imagine how devastated she must feel. But she is moving through each day, one step at a time. I am so proud of how she has stepped up to meet the demands of this situation. She has proven that she is a strong, brave woman. I think she has even surprised herself.

I will miss my brother, John. I will miss his interesting trivia, his voice in the background of my conversations with my sister and I will miss his long, wild ponytail, the symbol of his individuality. I will miss his singing and his identification of birds on the wing. I will miss his leaving the room when he has had enough of a group. I will miss his brotherly words, so gently and cautiously spoken. I will miss him standing by my sister's side.

"I wish life was not so short," he thought, "Languages take such a time, and so do all the things one wants to know about."
--- J.R.R.Tolkien, The Lost Road

alice

2010-02-27T20:43:00.000-08:00

March 5th is just around the corner. Why is this day meaningful? Because Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland opens at a theatre near me! I love Johnny Depp in anything, but I especially love him in roles that are really weird! As usual, this film version contains characters that actually only appear in the sequel, entitled Through the Looking Glass. My favorite aspect of the history of this story is the author's nicknames for the three sisters for whom this story was first told - Prima (Lorina Liddell), Secunda (Alice Lidell) and Tertia (Edith Lidell).

Alice in Chains will be in Nashville tomorrow night. I've decided that I am just too set in my ways to enjoy concerts anymore. My last concert was Prince in Phoenix a couple of years ago. It was an awesome experience, but I found that I was incredibly annoyed by drunken girls who were dressed in clothes that resembled streetwalkers. My three younger friends ditched me to go to an "afta party", which I sooooo did not want to go to.

You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant. Arlo Guthrie's song and story are 45 years old. Unbelievable! I honestly thought it was recorded when I was about 12 or 13, but I guess not! I love the original story about the Thanksgiving party and the garbage dump conviction that Arlo later claimed prevented him from being drafted and sent to Viet Nam (which wasn't really true). When I was a very young teenager, I knew this was a war protest song, but I somehow also got the impression that it was also a song about smoking pot. Now, when I look at the lyrics and the story that inspired the song, I see that it had very little to do with pot! Although, truth be told, pot was a part of almost everything in those days.

Alice B. Toklas died on March 7, 1967. She is most famous for being the lover of Gertude Stein. But did you know that marijuana brownies actually became popular because she published a recipe for them in 1954? The Alice B. Toklas Cookbook is a wonderful combination of recipes and Alice's memoir. She lived 21 years longer than Gertude, which allowed her to stretch and grow beyond the shadow of Gertude. It turns out that she was a delightful and interesting person in her own right.

Today is the last day of Black History Month, so let's end with a poem by Alice Walker:

Before you knew you owned it

Expect nothing. Live frugally.
On surprise.
become a stranger
To need of pity
Or, if compassion be freely

Given out
Take only enough
Stop short of urge to plead
Then purge away the need.

Wish for nothing larger
Than your own small heart
Or greater than a star;
Tame wild disappointment
With caress unmoved and cold
Make of it a parka
For your soul.

Discover the reason why
So tiny human midget
Exists at all
So scared unwise
But expect nothing. Live frugally
On surprise.

forbes rates memphis third most miserable city in USA

2010-02-22T19:09:00.000-08:00

You know, I will have to admit that before I ASKED my company to send me to Memphis, I did not do my homework about the place. At the time I moved here, Memphis was the murder capital of the nation. It has, apparently, dropped into second place. Yay! But on the heels of that news comes Forbes announcement of the ten most miserable cities in America. And Memphis is number three on the list. Sigh.

The article says that they looked at weather, economic indicators and crime when they were ranking cities. Shelby County has a 21% unemployment rate. As mentioned above, Memphis is 2nd in the nation for murders. The weather is nice, though! Well, not all of the snow we've had. And okay, there are those pesky tornados. One took out the Kohl's near my house last year.

The First 48, a murder solving reality show on A&E, is often shot (if you'll pardon the pun) in Memphis. I am new enough to Memphis that I didn't even realize this, even though I watched numerous episodes. I actually had to be told this by one of my co-workers. Now that I know it, I notice when an episode includes a Memphis murder. It is scary.

Quite frankly, I don't get out much. It's not that I don't want to go out. I just work a lot of hours. So by the time I get home, I want to do absolutely nothing. But I do think about it when I am walking from the grocery store to the car. I think about it when I am leaving the campus late at night and going out to the car. I think about it when I am walking from the mall to the car. And I think about it when I am home and I hear a BUMP in the other room. (But that would scare me no matter where I lived!)

If there is anything about Memphis that makes me miserable, it would be things like conservative thinking, religion being used as a weapon of fear, segregation and an over-emphasis on race. It does sometimes feel like I have moved backwards in time. Having lived in places like northern New Jersey, Phoenix and Atlanta, I find Memphis to be somewhat contained at times, with only a very few people pushing up against the heavy walls. But, since I don't get out much, I am basing that on only a few experiences. So maybe all of that is wrong too!

I am content to be here for now. Are you content to be where you are?

forgiveness

2010-02-21T15:50:00.001-08:00

Someone is carrying anger in her heart towards me. It has manifested itself in such extreme bitterness that she invests energy into turning other people away from me. In a couple of cases, she has succeeded. I have been observing this for about three years, not really sure what I did to deserve her hatred. I even asked her once, but she was either unable or unwilling to explain. Her feelings are so extreme that I am still feeling the effects of it almost two years after I last had contact with her.

There is a part of me that is drawn to thinking about this situation and obsessing over what in the world I could have done to incite this extreme reaction. But then today, I realized that my head was in the wrong place.

What I should be doing is focusing on situations that have occurred in my life in which I have continued to hold a grudge against someone or been unable to forgive someone. Holding on to a grudge is like wearing a heavy weight around my neck. It causes pain and strains my heart and eventually will make me stoop into an older version of myself. So, I need to focus on those folks who have hurt me in some way and work on changing my reaction to a forgiving one.

People are the ultimate fallable mammals. We do screw up spectacularly. Not every bad act is the result of someone wishing to do evil. Sometimes people cause pain because they are so caught up in their own lives that they don't realize the impact they are having on someone. Sometimes they have been damaged in their own lives and their behavior is a result of that damage.

The Buddhist faith describes "dukkha" as an uneasiness that we all carry within us. The work of the faithful is to focus on ridding ourselves of that disquiet. Some describe dukkha as riding in a cart that has a broken place on one wheel. Each time that broken place rolls around, we are jolted. Holding grudges or being unable to forgive is like having a wheel with a broken place. We can't travel through life on a smooth path nor focus on the beauty of life because we continue to be jolted.

Those who have hurt me over the years are just as human as I am. Clearly, I am capable of hurting other people, sometimes without even knowing how I did it. So, perhaps those who hurt me would be surprised to know how I feel. Perhaps by adopting a forgiving heart, I am somehow upsetting the apple cart of cosmic energy. Maybe that energy can heal those who are so angry with me. Maybe not. But I can at least be comforted by knowing that I am trying to let go of those dark spots on my heart. Ridding my life of dukkha and allowing joy and the light of the One who loves me most to shine on me - and through me - each and every day.

olympic athletes

2010-02-20T19:34:00.000-08:00

These Olympic athletes are lean, mean, fighting machines. I am enjoying watching them so much. Some of my absolute favorites:

Apolo Ohno

Lindsey Vonn

Hannah Teter

Shani Davis

Evan Lysacek

Shaun White

ask

2010-02-19T18:09:00.000-08:00

A co-worker (Barbara) attended a church leader meeting last night. Her job at my school is to assist students in finding employment after they graduate. So, last night her pastor suddenly said to the group of church leaders, "Let's talk about work. What do you need at work?" Barbara looked around at the other parishioners. Everyone looked as confused as she felt. Her pastor persisted, "Listen to your spirit and speak from your heart. What do you need at work?" After another moment of confused silence, a man spoke up from the row behind Barbara and said, "I need pharmacy technicians!"

Barbara turned and looked at the man in amazement. Our school has a pharmacy technician program and we really, really need as many job sites as we can identify so our graduates can go to work. The pastor knew this and pointed to Barbara and said, "Talk to this lady right here." Other people began to speak up and for every need, someone spoke up with an answer or solution.

Barbara spoke with the man who said he needed pharmacy technicians. Barbara actually works with the Medical Assistant program, but she figured she could bring the information back to the person who works with our Pharmacy Technician program. It turns out that the man is a pharmacist and works at a pharmacy that is extremely busy right now. Not only does he want to hire some technicians, but he is also interested in hosting some of our externs. (Our students complete an externship before they graduate.)

The man suddenly looked at Barbara and said, "You didn't say what you need at work. What do you need at work?" Barbara thought about it and answered, "I need to find job openings for my Medical Assistant graduates." The man replied, "I talk to doctor's offices all day long. I know I can help you find some openings. In fact, I will share my list of doctors with you so you can call them all."

How do I happen to know this story? Because Barbara was so moved by this experience that she decided to follow the next impulse that entered her heart this morning, which was to send me an email telling me that she was praying for me and that I had her support and that she could see that I had a lot of weight on my shoulders right now, but that she believed in me. I received that email only a few moments before I had to get on a conference call with the company CEO, the company CFO and my divisional president to explain our performance so far this fiscal year. This call happens once each month and it is stressful! Barbara's email arrived at just the moment that I needed to have some peace in my heart. The call went beautifully and I hung up the phone feeling confident and capable.

I pass this on to you in hopes that it will inspire you to ASK for what you need and that you will pass on some love to whoever your spirit calls you to reach out to. Amen!

2010-02-16T06:17:00.000-08:00

Oh Canada!
Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.
With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!
From far and wide, Oh Canada,
We stand on guard for thee.
God keep our land glorious and free!
Oh Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
Oh Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

valentine

2010-02-13T17:48:00.001-08:00

There is a trend in Facebook this week for folks to change their profile photo to one of them and their beloved spouse or partner. This is very sweet, but also hard to look at, it being so soon after the closure of my long-term relationship with my beloved. We sort of sizzled out, so at least I don't have to suffer the memory of some big blow out or a ritual dumping. Neither of us is a dumpee.

Still, I couldn't seem to stop myself from changing my Facebook status to a quote from that wonderful cynic and queen of dry wit and sarcasm, Dorothy Parker, who penned these words - "Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, a medley of extemporanea, and love is a thing that can never go wrong, and I am Marie of Romania." She sure got that right! Because really, everything that can go wrong with love usually does. People who stick with it, despite the moments when they want to strangle their lover, are the authentic valentines, not the ones who claim to have never had a fight.

The Vancouver Winter Olympics Opening Ceremony featured a beautiful acrobatic performance by a young man, who performed to music by Joni Mitchell.

"Moons and Junes and ferris wheels, the dizzy dancing way you feel
As every fairy tale comes real; I've looked at love that way.
But now it's just another show. You leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know, don't give yourself away.

"I've looked at love from both sides now, from give and take, and still somehow
It's love's illusions I recall. I really don't know love at all."

Since we're talking about hearts, let's not forget the thousands of purple hearts that have been bravely earned by our soldiers around the world. I worry that with the emphasis on the Olympics and Haiti, that we might lose sight of the fact that we have men and women in danger throughout the world today. I really wish we could bring them all home. I bet their sweethearts wish that too!

That Facebook status that I mentioned earlier? Dorothy Parker's quote just barely beat a quote from Matt Groening, creator of The Simpsons. "Love is like racing across the frozen tundra on a snowmobile which flips over, trapping you underneath. At night, the ice-weavels come." This quote perfectly encompasses the incredible breathtaking nature of love and its miserable counterpart, obsession. It makes me smile, but with a tear in the corner of my eye. Because who wouldn't take that crazy, wonderful gasp of love, even while knowing the ice-weavels might come?

Oh, Eros. You have been my muse and my temporary demise. You have given me my highest highs and my lowest lows. I have skated with you in a beautiful dance that took my breath away. I have been heated by you to such a burn that my brain nearly exploded with the intense pleasure of you. And I have sobbed with you, thinking my heart could not recover. But would I meet you again? Would I travel with you again? Oh my, yes. Yes, yes and yes.

more snow - get it?

2010-02-09T03:59:00.000-08:00

It is snowing lightly this morning. County schools are closed. City schools are open. I'm told the city school superintendent is from Massachusetts and "doesn't get" Memphis weather. I've lived all over this country and this is a common theme. Outsiders don't "get" some local fact that ought to affect them and doesn't. When I really push my staff to try to make a bigger impact on the lives of our students, at least one manager or Instructor will tell me that I don't "get" the Memphis native, that I just don't understand the limitations they are facing. This has no impact on my thinking, other than to say, "If you are maintaining that you are more of an expert than I about the Memphis native, then it is up to you to figure out how to have the needed impact. Let me know what you figure out! I am still holding you accountable for the results!"

But back to the snow! So, I have phoned in a delayed start this morning. The campus will open at 10 a.m., for now. I'm concerned that the temperatures will be dropping and that moisture on the roads may refreeze. So I will be watching things very closely. The last time I opened late, then closed early, there were folks who said that I should have been closed all day. It seems that second-guessing is something that just comes naturally to some folks! No doubt these are the same people who will never find themselves in the position to make decisions like this. So, they don't "get" what it's like. Now that's rich!

snow again

2010-02-08T03:58:00.000-08:00

I just had to make the call to close the campus again. We have three inches of snow on the ground this morning. Nobody expected it to hit the Metro-Memphis area the way that it did. As late as last night, they were saying that the snow would be north of us, so I did nothing to prepare, expecting to be able to go to work this morning!!!

saturday six

2010-02-06T07:03:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I pop over to The Daily Meme to see if I can get a writing prompt. Today, I followed the link to Saturday Six, which gives you six questions to answer. Here are today's questions, along with my answers!

1.What’s the one thing that really annoys you?

I am typically most annoyed by bad drivers. And I am not talking about speeders, although they are annoying if they go flying past at 20+ miles per hour faster than the rest of us. I am talking about the ones who are driving slow in the left lane, the ones who veer into my lane, then back into theirs, the ones who merge onto the highway going 40 miles per hour, the ones who cut in front of me when they suddenly realise that they should be over THERE, the ones who drive an eighth of an inch from my back bumper even though there is a clear lane next to us, the ones who merge into my lane going 20 miles per hour slower than me, when they could have waited 5 seconds and merged behind me and MOST OF ALL - the ones who brake for no apparent reason. I even yell out "UB!", which stands for unnecessary braking. Yes, I know that is stupid, but it makes me feel better. Now that you have read this, you will not be able to stop yourself from doing it the next time someone brakes for no apparent reason in front of you. Then you will laugh out loud. Anyone in the vehicle with you will be contemplating having you committed to the nearest mental health facility. And you will have me to thank!

2.If it was the end of the world what be the last thing you would try to do?

Eat chocolate while trying to finish my book. I would hate to miss the ending of a great book! Actually, I am usually reading several books simultaneously. I hope I have enough time!!!

3.If you had the choice of designing a mobile phone what one feature would you add to it?

Auto Uh-huh. I could record myself saying "Uh-huh" and "Huh" and "Wow" and "Hmm". Then, when I was talking to someone that I needed to listen to, but I really wanted to be doing something else, I could push the button and my Auto Uh-huh would supply sound often enough to simulate full attention.

4.Diamonds or pearls?

Now I do dearly love that song "Take Back Your Mink" from Guys and Dolls, which includes the following lyrics:

"Take back your mink
Take back your pearls
What made you think
That I was one of those girls

"Take back the gown
The gloves and the hat
I may be down
But I'm not flat as all that

"I thought that each expensive gift you'd arranged
Was a token of your esteem
But when I think of what you want in exchange
It all seems a horrible dream"

But I have to go with diamonds. They sparkle. They go with anything. They last. You can be rough on them and they still behave.

5.Silver or gold?

I was in love with a jeweler who tried his best to convince me to give up my affinity for sterling silver. He hated that I didn't love gold. My favorite piece of jewelry in the whole world is a ring that my Mother wears every day, which is a big honking piece of turquoise in a sterling silver setting. She has worn it for decades and it is still beautiful. I just prefer silver! Even when I was looking at some items at Tiffany, I found I was drawn to the platinum settings.

6.Are you at home or work?

What kind of person blogs while they are at work? Never mind. I probably work with people who do that! But no, I am at home. My work ethic wouldn't allow me to do this at work. I am in comfy, soft pants, a t-shirt and my slippers. My feet are elevated. Scamp is curled up next to me snoozing. I have a cup of coffee at my side. Ahhh.

OKAY! That ends the six questions. That was fun!

Bye!

ice and snow in tennessee

2010-02-02T20:41:00.000-08:00

Thursday night brought a cold, cold rain which froze on the ground and in the streets as the temperatures dropped even further. Next came the snow, so pretty to watch. I quickly recorded a message on the college's inclement weather hotline canceling Friday classes and reminding students and staff to check again for updates before traveling to the campus on Saturday. This decision was an easy one.

I woke up early on Friday morning, even though I could have slept in. Scamp did not want to go out into the snow, but he soldiered through and quickly ran back in. As the morning progressed, the snow turned to sleet, converting the snow on the ground into a crunchy mess. The next time Scamp went out, his skinny legs kept busting through the top layer of the crusty snow, startling him with each pop and crunch. He stopped moving at one point and looked at me with very scared eyes, shivering in the cold. I walked over in my slippers and scooped him up. Back inside, I held him close for a bit until he got over the trauma.

Friday night, I changed the message to include closure for Saturday massage clinic and office hours. The roads were just not safe. Saturday was cold all day. Scamp adjusted to going out, skirting around the edges of the yard where the snow wasn't as deep.

Saturday I got out the big oval slow cooker and began preparing the feast I had planned for my snow day. First, I rubbed bone-in chicken thighs with cumin, salt and pepper. I browned these in a pan over a medium heat. While the chicken browned, I peeled and cubed about 3 pounds of sweet potato and combined that with two cans of rinsed and drained black beans, spreading them evenly on the bottom of the cooker. I placed the browned chicken thighs on top of the bean and sweet potato mixture.

In the same pan I had browned the chicken in, I combined three minced garlic cloves, allspice and paprika and heated them just to the point where the garlic was beginning to soften, then poured in some chicken stock. I scraped up all of the bits of chicken (and all of the flavor in the pan), then added some salsa to the mix. This mixture was poured over the chicken. On went the lid and I cooked it on low for 8 hours.

I removed the cooked chicken pieces and carefully pulled all of the meat from the bones, returning the meat to the slow cooker as I worked. I gave the mixture a good stir and put the lid back on. While it stewed a bit more, I chopped up some roasted red pepper and threw that into the stew. Then I pulled the leaves off several stems of cilantro. Then I was ready for a taste test.

I got out a small creme brulee dish and spooned a small portion of the stew into it, then mixed in some cilantro leaves. I cut a small piece of cornbread and added that to the side of the dish. I sat down to taste everything. The first bite nearly made me swoon. It was delicious, probably one of the best things I have ever made. Thank you delish.com!

Sunday morning, I managed to sleep until 8:30 a.m. Yay! I got up and looked out the window. There was no change. But as the day went by, there was a lot of melting and shifting. I could hear pieces of snow and ice shifting up on the roof, then falling into the yard with a big swoosh. When I went out with Scamp at midday, it was warm enough to be out without my down coat. I shook the melting ice off the iron patio chairs. Scamp ran around like a maniac.

But when I watched the news, I saw that most of the roads were still not clear. The street I live on was certainly still a mess. The news people said that everything would be refreezing that night. I decided I better cancel morning classes and have faculty and staff report at 10 a.m. So I dialed in and recorded a new message. By the time it was over, I canceled all classes on Monday and sent the staff home at 3 p.m. I did not want anybody driving after dark. Those decisions are tough ones when conditions are not universal throughout the area. County schools were closed. City schools were open. What to do? But I believe that I made the right decisions for our students and staff.

It has been an eventful few days! And I am still enjoying the leftover stew!!!

scamp

2010-01-10T07:13:00.000-08:00

This little fella showed up in my neighborhood and scampered back and forth in my neighbor's yard, barking hysterically. I finally put my coat on and walked across the street, thinking I would ring their doorbell to let them know that their dog had gotten out of their yard. He was not their dog.

So, I borrowed a leash from them, attached it to the choke collar he was sporting and walked him through the neighborhood, ringing doorbells as I went, trying to figure out who he belonged to. No luck!

I drove to the grocery store, resigned to have him for at least a day or two, and knowing it was possible that he was destroying my house in my absence. I bought dog food, chewies, treats and a toy you hide treats in. I came home and found that he had not chewed anything. He acted like I had been gone for years, as dogs will, and that I was his best friend in the entire world, which I suppose I am at this moment.

He is a very high energy dog and could not lie down next to me on the sofa. Even trying to get him to be still long enough to get a picture of him for the LOST poster was an incredible ordeal. I finally dragged out an old comforter and spread it on the other sofa. I patted that sofa and he jumped up, but still couldn't settle down. So up and down and up and down he went. I got one of his chew toys and put it up there. He took it and hid it in the dining room. I went and got it and put it back on the sofa and got the same result. But finally, after I stopped paying attention, he did settle down. I looked over and he was passed out.

All of this time, my poor cat, Joe, was esconced in the master bedroom suite. I had to put his litter box and food in there because I know dogs will eat cat poop. Periodically, I would go in and spend a few minutes with Joe, each time finding him stiff with fear. I hope he relaxes soon.

Last night, I left the little dog in the living room and went to bed. I expected howling and scratching, but he was quiet throughout the night. And no accidents! This morning I heard one loud bark. I got up and he greeted me like a long lost friend, dancing around and jumping up in the air. I took him outside and he did his business quickly and was ready to come back in. And right now, he is beside me on my sofa, snoozing.

Around his neck, along with the choke chain, is a jaunty green scarf. I don't care for that scarf. But I am leaving it on him. Because taking it off says I am keeping him. But I will admit that I have been calling him a name - Scamp. That is a dangerous sign, I know!

biscuit and gracie

2010-01-07T18:48:00.000-08:00

On the table next to her, piles of assorted mail leaned in precarious angles, threatening to come down like a demolition project at the slightest provocation. Already on the floor were one or two envelopes that had slipped free from the melee and were waiting to be accidentally kicked under the sofa where they would stay until such a time as the occupant moved to new digs. People don't live like this, she thought, but immediately cleared that thought from her head. Becoming friends with Gracie Lawn would require her to suspend her own reality.

new year's eve

2009-12-31T11:01:00.001-08:00

Pull down the shades. I'm fixin' to kiss you.

quotes I like

2009-12-26T07:51:00.000-08:00

"Follow the path of the unsafe, independent thinker. Expose your ideas to the dangers of controversy. Speak your mind and fear less the label of 'crackpot' than the stigma of conformity. And on issues that seem important to you, stand up and be counted at any cost."
-- Thomas J. Watson

"Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should just live next door and just visit now and then."
-- Katharine Hepburn (1907 - 2003)

"I have enjoyed greatly the second blooming that comes when you finish the life of the emotions and of personal relations; and suddenly find - at the age of fifty, say - that a whole new life has opened before you, filled with things you can think about, study, or read about...It is as if a fresh sap of ideas and thoughts was rising in you."
-- Agatha Christie (1890 - 1976), An Autobiography, 1977

"Do something. If it doesn't work, do something else. No idea is too crazy."
-- Jim Hightower, The New York Times, March 9, 1986

"People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first."
-- David H. Comins

"American women expect to find in their husbands a perfection that English women only hope to find in their butlers."
-- W. Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965), The Razor's Edge, 1943

"That little man in black over there, he says women can't have as much rights as men, 'cause Christ wasn't a woman! Where did your Christ come from? From God and a woman! Man had nothing to do with Him."
-- Sojourner Truth (1797 - 1883), Ain't I A Woman, a speech delivered in 1851

wwsd

2009-12-07T19:59:00.000-08:00

On the way home from work tonight I spotted a bumpersticker on the back of a car that read WWSD. I immediately jumped to the incorrect assumption that the owner of the vehicle was doing a satanic version of WWJD or What Would Jesus Do? I became upset for a moment until I got close enough to see what it really meant.

Then I just felt silly! Go Scooby!!!

meander

2009-11-27T07:59:00.000-08:00

As I was leaving my master bathroom, I resolved to return with cleaning supplies and get at least that one chore done today. But, I spotted the pile of dirty towels and decided to throw them in the washer first. But going in the laundry room would mean seeing the kitty litter box. I resolved to change the litter box first. I remembered that the new kitty litter boxes were in a box by the front door. I use the disposable kind made out of corrugated cardboard. When I got to the box, I saw that I had put some little ornament boxes on top of the box holding the litter boxes. I decided to put them away in the drawer of the sofa table where the other ornament boxes are. When I opened the drawer to put them in, I found a bunch of spare change that Sam must have left behind. I picked them all up and went to put them in my purse. My purse was a mess, so I sat down on my bed to clean it out. When I went to straighten out the covers, I remembered that I wanted to wash my sheets, so I decided to strip the bed. As I was stripping the bed, I tripped over a little pile of catalogs and magazines that had accumulated on the floor by my bed. Disgusted, I went in the kitchen to get a garbage bag. When I got to the kitchen, I saw that the dishwasher had completed its last cycle, so I decided to put the dishes away. As I put the dishes away, I spotted the poppy seed bread on the countertop. I popped the container open and dropped two pieces into the toaster. A cup of coffee would go great with that, so I started the coffee. Now I am sitting back on the sofa, having enjoyed the bread and still drinking the coffee, back on the computer again. Sigh.

thanksgiving

2009-11-21T20:01:00.000-08:00

Did you know ...

That there is a Thanksgiving holiday celebrated on October 25th each year in Grenada? It celebrates the anniversary of the 1983 invasion by American troops following the murder of their Prime Minister. Operation Urgent Fury made other countries furious because it was seen as an example of American imperialism. America did not have the backing of the U.N. or the support of most of the world leaders. Ronald Reagan just made his move and asked forgiveness after the fact. I find it fascinating that the country that joined America in this invasion was Jamaica. Hmmm - I am trying to picture the battle field.

I visited Grenada about three years ago. The cruise ship I was on - The Golden Princess - pulled right up to the dock and we walked off the ship. We got on a little transport bus and went off on a shore excursion. We visited an old family owned estate that makes rum, a historic spice plantation, then traveled to a beautiful family-owned restaurant where we sat out on a beautiful wrap-around porch and enjoyed a buffet lunch and rum punch.

You can rent a villa on Grenada for a very reasonable price. It comes with a staff who will shop, cook and clean for you. For about the same price as you would spend for 5 days at Disney, you can spend a week on the lovely island of Grenada.

top ten stupid things he has said

2009-11-19T05:00:00.000-08:00

Subtitle: When You Should Walk Away --- FAST

10. Can we do lunch instead? I get up really early in the morning.

9. I turn my phone off when I get home because I really need my rest.

8. I left my wallet in my desk at work. Can you cover this and I'll get it next time?

7. Hey, I just noticed that you called a while ago. My phone is screwed up.

6. You don't want to meet my friends. They're a pain in the butt.

5. My house/apartment is being painted/fumigated, so we can't go there. How about your place?

4. I can't stay over. I need to go let the dog out.

3. You don't want to meet my family. They're really dysfunctional.

2. I live with her, but we aren't in a relationship. I actually sleep on the sofa.

And the Number One Stupid Thing He Has Said:

1. I can't accept your Facebook friend request today because I am really busy. But I'm taking a day off from work next week. Maybe I can get out there then.

____

I know ... WOW, right? This is a compilation after several conversations with friends. But the number one is my own. I am STILL laughing about it days after he said it to me.

no eggos - are you sure?

2009-11-04T20:02:00.000-08:00

I stopped by the grocery store on the way home from work. This sign attached to the display case caught my eye. It made me laugh. I was on the phone with my Dad at the time and I told him I needed to hang up so I could take a picture of the sign.

homeward bound

2009-10-23T11:13:00.000-07:00

We started our day in Saint John, New Brunswick, Canada, by taking a brisk walk up to the little shopping area. This picture shows Jane posing in front of some huge statues. I am slightly ashamed to tell you that I have no idea what the statues are.

I regret that I have no pictures of the actual torture that was the high speed jet ride over the class 3 rapids in Saint John, New Brunswick, Canada. This photo shows the frigid water behind us just after we have returned from the ride and changed our clothes. All I can tell you is that it was horrific. We were given rain pants and rain jackets to put on. These did absolutely nothing to protect us from the frigid water that the boat driver purposely dashed on us by aiming his jet boat right at the biggest waves. Picture having bucket after bucket after bucket of freezing cold water thrown in your face. Oh. it was joyful. I wanted to kill Jane. The ride was fun. The nasty, cold water was not. We were soaked by the time we got off the jet boat. We had been warned to bring a change of clothes and were provided changing rooms. We did survive!

Back at the dock, we zipped through the little shopping area in the terminal. I sat down for a rest and this moose got fresh with me. Of all the nerve!!!

That night, we played bingo. We didn't win. But nobody else won the big jackpot.

The next day found us in Halifax. Nova Scotia where we traveled to Peggy's Cove. Below, you see us posing in front of the lighthouse. It was just beautiful. The trees were every color - just stunning. Back in Halifax, we boarded the Hop On, Hop Off trolleys and meandered through town looking at historic sites and doing some shopping.

That night we played bingo again. We lost again. But we were both so close to winning the $1700 jackpot. We each only had one number to go. Here are our cards and our very sad faces:

2009-10-20T20:08:00.000-07:00

I am writing this as the ship slowly departs from Bar Harbor, Maine. The sun has almost set behind the mainland and all of the little islands in the harbor. What a gorgeous place!

We had pre-reserved two tickets for Oli’s Trolley, which was highly recommended on http://www.cruisecritic.com/. Here we are in front of the trolley.

We took the two and a half hour trip, which took us all over Bar Harbor, then over to Mount Desert Island where we toured Acadia National Park. We drove up to the top of Cadillac Mountain, then over to The Wild Gardens of Acadia, then to Thunder Hole, which is a spot where the waves crash through some rocks and create huge plumes of water in the air. Then we walked all around Bar Harbor, stopping in at a bunch of little shops.

Back on board, we scored a miserable 8 out of 20 possible points in the Afternoon Trivia game. We were slightly handicapped by the addition to our team of two elderly ladies who could not properly hear the questions, so kept giving incorrect answers. After they would give an incorrect answer, one of them would say, “Oh, I thought she said blah-blah-blah.” The other one would chime in with, “That’s what I thought she said.” But to be truthful, Jane and I were not exactly firing on all cylinders. We were tired!
Now we are preparing for dinner.

We have had one interesting scenario. On Friday night, I ordered a bottle of wine with dinner and drank about a glass and a half of it. I asked the waiter to keep the bottle in the back and I would have the rest on another night. On the second night, we dined at Sabatini’s, one of the two specialty dining rooms, so I didn’t ask for the bottle. Last night, we were back in the regular dining room, so I requested my bottle. They couldn’t find it. The Head Waiter came over and asked me where I was sitting when I ordered the wine. We told him. Jane even walked him over to the table and showed him where we had been sitting. He went away and came back to tell me that we had not been in this dining room, that we had been in a different dining room. We told him that we had only dined in THIS dining room. He went away and came back with a waiter from another dining room and asked if this is who had served us. I told him that I did not remember because we have had contact with so many crew, but none more than once. He went away and came back again to argue again. I put up my hand and stopped him. I said that this had already taken up too much time and I did not wish to spend more time on it. He went away. But he came back with one glass of wine for me and said that I should not eat on Italian night without a glass of wine. In my opinion, he should have simply given me a new bottle. But I suppose there are so many people who will try to scam the cruise line that they have to be careful.

boston

2009-10-19T19:54:00.000-07:00

This morning, the weather was lovely and showed no sign that the prior evening had contained such scary moments. We had a leisurely breakfast and then headed out of the ship. We bought a shuttle ticket and rode over to the historic areas. There we boarded a trolley and rode around to see the sights. It was cool seeing all of the important sights of the Revolutionary War. I was really glad that I had seen the HBO series on John Adams because it gave me a framework within which to fit all of the pieces that the trolley driver provided. He basically followed the Freedom Trail.

After we got off the trolley, we came back to the ship and went to afternoon tea. Then we sat in the atrium and listened to a jazz combo for a while. Then we went to dinner, then to Bingo. And now I am in the room again and Jane is playing cards downstairs. She is a night owl. I am an early bird. But we manage!

nor'easter

2009-10-19T14:46:00.000-07:00

Jane and I are alive, thank you very much, though for a while it was questionable whether we would survive the Nor’easter that the captain of our ship insisted on sailing through. We lost the Newport, Rhode Island port due to the weather. The captain made an announcement that I will try to re-create here. In case you aren’t good at figuring out accents, or in case I do a crappy job, I will tell you that the captain is Italian. Here was the announcement:

“Yes-ah, Ladies and Gentlemen, I-ah have to announce-ah that the-ah Harrrbor-ah Pilot-ah has just been on the sheep-ah. Un-ah-fortunately, we have-ah concluded-ah that it eez not safe to-ah enter the-ah harrrbor at theez time. Therrreforrre, theez will be-ah a sea day. A rrevised-ah itinerary weel be deliverrred to yourrr-ah staterrrrroom momentarrrily. I do-ah rrregrrret this dee-cision, but-ahhhh must poot passs-engerrr safety firrrst.”

Jane and I didn’t mind losing Newport, Rhode Island. And the day at sea was nice, unless you happened to be bothered by mildly rough seas. We played “Passenger Feud”, which is just like Family Feud, except the teams are made up of whoever happens to join together. Our team won, of course, and we jumped up and down with excitement as we were handed our signature baseball caps. (Ugh.) We took a line dancing class and learned the Electric Slide (which I already knew), the Achy Breaky Heart and the Boot Scoot Boogie. We are all set for the Country Hoedown. Then Jane played Bingo while I went to the Spa for a hot stone massage.

When I got to the spa, the check-in girls told me that I could not change clothes in the locker room because there had been “an incident”. I asked, “Was it a murder? I believe that my friend and I could solve a murder.” The girl said no, there had been no murder. Somebody just threw up. So, I changed in the shower room and carried my clothes with me. When I got to the waiting area, everyone who was there before me had the little wristlets with locker keys. Everyone who came after me had the little wristlets with locker keys. I must have arrived in the 3-5 minute window where the ship’s crew was cleaning up the locker rooms. Anyway, my massage was okay. It was really a Thai massage with some hot stones thrown in for flavor.

Last night was formal night, so Jane and I put on our fancy clothes. We had made a reservation at Sabatini’s, a restaurant on board that you pay a little extra for. You pick the main course only. Then they bring out 14-16 appetizers which you can try all of, or part of. Incredible. It was really good. After dinner, Jane went to the casino and I went to see a comedian. The comedian was not that great, so I left and went back to the room. That was when the real fun began.

The seas had become increasingly choppy as the day went by. When I got in the bed, I could really feel the swells. The ballast in these huge ships is really great, so when you feel the ship moving, you know you have some extremely choppy seas. Then the ship began a series of shudders and moans. At one point, there was an extremely loud BANG as if something had broken off the ship. At moments, the ship would tilt a bit to one side. I found myself expecting the ship to roll over on its side into that rough ocean.I tried to imagine what it would be like, whether water would immediately enter my cabin or whether I would have any time to prepare. Then I had a moment of two of sheer panic, where ideas raced through my head, one after another. It kind of went like this:

“They said to wear warm clothes in case you have to abandon ship. Should I put some warm clothes on now? Which shoes should I put on? My tennis shoes wouldn’t provide much protection from the cold water but my boots might weigh me down. Maybe I should put my life jacket on. Should I take a life jacket to Jane in the casino? What if I am on my way to the casino with her life jacket and she comes to the room looking for her life jacket and the ship rolls over at exactly that moment? Should I get my phone out and try to call my family just in case the ship is about to go down? Who do I want to talk to? What if I make them panic for no reason? Which clothes would protect me most from the cold water? Should I wear fleece? Should I put my raincoat with the warm lining on? Where is Jane? Why doesn’t she come back to the room? Can she even feel this movement down there?”

This nonstop panic thought went on for a few minutes, then I simply burst out laughing. Jane finally came back. She said that when her stool turned over in the casino, she decided that it was time to go back to the room. We both tried to go to sleep but it was terrifying. Each time the ship rolled into a tilt, we both said “Ahhh!” I just can’t figure out why the captain kept sailing in the storm. There had to be a back end of the storm, like in NYC where we started maybe? Why didn’t he just sail the ship south until he got the back of the storm? Who knows?Anyway, we both finally went to sleep. This morning we woke up in Boston with blue skies and pretty weather, maybe in the 50’s.

all aboard

2009-10-17T11:50:00.000-07:00

After our sumptuous breakfast, Jane and I packed our belongings and went downstairs for a taxi. Off we headed to the cruise terminal. How anyone finds that place is beyond me.

Folks, there is nothing like priority boarding. We went through security, were checked in by a very polite woman and escorted on to the ship. In the meantime, we could hear other people being called by number. Some folks looked annoyed to see us go by.

Once on board, we dropped our stuff off and headed to the Coral Dining Room. All of the ship's staff will direct you towards the Lido deck for the buffet. But it is a highly guarded secret that this one dining room is open on the first day for lunch.

Jane and I both had a shrimp appetizer. I had tenderloin and Jane had salmon. We both had the orange souffle with vanilla sauce. Yummy!

Now we are unpacking. Next will come the muster, then the departure. Fun!

huge breakfast

2009-10-17T05:55:00.000-07:00

We ordered room service and ate a gigantic breakfast. We are now getting ready to head over to the ship. I am hoping that we will get on early so we can eat lunch in the dining room. None of the ship's staff will tell you that the dining room is open. They all point you to the buffet up on the Lido deck. But experienced cruisers know to go to the dining room for a great lunch. Let the weight gain begin!!!

hair

2009-10-16T20:47:00.001-07:00

We are just back from seeing the Off Broadway production of Hair. The last time I saw this play, I was about ten or eleven years old. Mother brought us along with her on a trip to NYC to meet her lover at the time. She actually confessed to me years later that she left us at the planetarium while she and he went off to have a bit of private time together. It was on that trip that I somehow came into possession of a guitar, which I taught myself to play.

So, Jane and I stood in the taxi line in front of the Waldorf. You would think that the doorman of the Waldorf would have an easy time of getting taxis. Nope. It took FOREVER. When we got in the taxi, we told the driver where we needed to go. He looked at us like we were crazy. He asked us if our show started at 8 p.m. We said yes and he took off like a madman. But he got us there. I love New York cab drivers!!! We entered the Al Hirschfeld theatre just at 8 p.m. There were quite a few people entering the theatre as we arrived, but the lights were already blinking to indicate that everyone should take their seats as the production was about to begin.

This was a good production. A few of the voices were just outright spectacular. I look at their faces in my Playbill and they all look so young. Sasha Allen, as Dionne, sang the opening number, Aquarius. Her voice is incredible - very powerful. I wasn't thrilled with Will Swenson as Berger. I think I allowed myself to expect a sexier version of Berger. Jane said the same thing. Caissie Levy played Sheila. "Easy to Be Hard" was her best performance of the night. It was excellent.

We had a great time!

waldorf

2009-10-16T15:36:00.000-07:00

We are safely ensconced at the Waldorf-Astoria in New York City. Jane is out getting burgers or sandwiches for us, having pronounced the room service too expensive. I am starving!!!

I arrived at the Memphis airport this morning to hear the words that every traveler so hopes to hear. "Your flight has been canceled." Well, no trip would be fun without adventure. The first alternative was a direct flight getting in to Newark after 10 p.m. I begged and pleaded. We have theatre tickets that cost $140 each. The next choice was changing planes in Chicago and getting into Newark at 6:30 p.m. That would be tight for 8 p.m. theatre. The third and best choice was changing planes in Atlanta and getting into La Guardia at 5 p.m. The flight out of Memphis was at 11:40 a.m. Off I went!!!

The flight to Atlanta was 45 minutes and uneventful. The flight from Atlanta to NYC was a bit longer. As soon as we were airborne, the lady in front of me fully reclined her seat. When the flight attendant came with the drink cart, I told him that I wanted to buy the lady in front of me a drink. She turned to look at me with a puzzled expression. I said, "I thought since you are sitting in my lap, that I might buy you a drink." She put her seat forward.

Oops. Jane just arrived with the burgers. More later.

off to the snowy north

2009-10-15T19:13:00.000-07:00

Snow has arrived in Pennsylvania and the New York City area is cold and wet. My hope is that my flight will take off at the appointed time and land at the appointed time. Tomorrow night we are scheduled to go see the musical Hair on Broadway. I really want to see it, so I hope we both get there timely and safely.

Given the nasty weather that is expected, I am finding it difficult to get excited about this trip. To top it all off, I have come down with a mild cold. My voice sounds husky and I have a bronchial cough. I really worry that if I show any symptoms at all that I might be banned from the ship. Another option would be that once on board I might get quaranteened, which happened to someone on our Tahiti cruise.

Oh well, no use worrying about things over which I have no control!

I will blog each day of the trip, as usual. Wish me luck!!!

stressed

2009-10-12T05:10:00.000-07:00

This is the time of year that I have two major projects due.

First is the Reauthorization for the state of Tennessee. I am ahead of schedule on this deadline, with just a couple of items left to fill in when I receive them from the home office. Good! Deadline: October 15

Second is the ACCSC Annual Report. I am ahead of schedule on this deadline, with just a couple of items left to fill in when I receive them from the home office. Good! Deadline: November 15

Third is the ACCSC Reaccreditation Application. I am behind schedule on this deadline, with quite a few items left to fill in!!! This one has me stressed out just a bit. It will all get done, but I am a bit stressed. Deadline: November 2

How do I always manage to schedule my vacations at a time when I am surrounded by deadlines? When I went on vacation in April, I was stressed out about budget deadlines and the completion of my Strategic Plan for FY10.

It'll be fine, just fine.

making lists

2009-10-10T09:37:00.000-07:00

I am leaving on my vacation in six days and I still haven't made a list of items that need to be done, purchased, cleaned, etc. This is not like me. Typically I begin this process weeks in advance. I'm not sure why I am procrastinating, but I checked with Jane when I spoke with her today and she is doing the same thing. The only thing I can figure is that although we are excited about this New England/Canada trip, that the destination doesn't carry the same Woo Hoo factor as a trip to the Caribbean. I do know this: If I don't get started soon, I am going to find myself in cold weather country without enough cold weather clothing!!!

front lawn

2009-09-28T07:26:00.000-07:00

As I write this, there is a man in my front yard mowing my grass. I have no idea who he is or why he is doing this. Instead of being grateful, I am partly scared and partly annoyed. I don't know if this is someone who is a little crazy who does work, then rings the doorbell and demands to be paid. Or maybe this is a neighbor who has grown sick of my high grass and decided to take matters into his own hands.

I actually pay someone to cut my grass, but he is notoriously unreliable. But he is very cheap. He called me two and a half weeks ago and said that he would not be by on Saturday, unless I wanted him to come, because he did not think the grass needed cutting. We agreed that he could wait until the next weekend. It rained and the yard flooded that weekend. But this weekend would have been fine. For whatever reason, he did not come. Now the yard really needs cutting! For all I know, the guy in the yard might be working for my guy!

Several years ago, I hired a fella who was passing through the neighborhood ringing doorbells. He offered to rake leaves. We agreed on a price. He finished about two thirds and asked for the money. I gave him two thirds of the agreed upon price and never saw him again. The yard looked funny for weeks until enough leaves fell to fill in the blanks.

The lawnmower sound has stopped. Exactly what is the etiquette in this situation? If he rings the doorbell, do I have to respond?

travel fever

2009-09-27T10:41:00.000-07:00

On some Sundays, at around 2 p.m., I get a sudden urge to get in the car and GO. I get on the Internet and search places to go that would allow me to back in time to get a good night's sleep before heading back to work on Monday. Inevitably, I conclude that I should have begun my travels early. Next time, I vow, I will leave early in the morning and just GO. I will travel the Natchez Parkway, I think, but I can't figure out how to do that without driving really far our of my way and/or driving the same way back as I did going out. I will go check out the Ozarks, I think, but then realize that it is a LOT of driving. I need a travel companion!

snapped

2009-09-20T18:03:00.000-07:00

There is a new show on the OXYGN channel called Snapped. I've never seen it until tonight when they featured a murder that took place here in Memphis a few years ago. It featured a good-looking man who was killed by his girlfriend after she intercepted text messages from another woman he was seeing behind her back. Seeing this took me back to the early 1990's just after I moved to Atlanta to be closer to my boyfriend.

I had my Snapped moment that year and I am just forever grateful that I did not have a gun or other weapon. The man I was dating was someone I had known for many, many years. We knew each other in college. Six or seven months prior to the incident, I had found out about a girl that my boyfriend had been with on the side before I moved there. He had continued seeing her until I found out about her. I thought she was long gone from our lives. But on this particular day, I found out differently. He had purchased a pager because his daughter was expecting her first baby. He wanted her to be able to reach him at any time. He gave me the pager number too and took the trouble to tell me that we were the only two people he had given the pager number to.

That day we were goofing around, wrestling and laughing. I ended up laying back on his suit jacket. He got up to go get a drink from the kitchen. While he was gone, I felt the pager in his jacket pocket vibrate. I thought, "the baby", and grabbed the pager out of his pocket. When I looked at it, I found the phone number of the girlfriend who I thought was long gone. I recognized the number because she had stalked me repeatedly, calling me and hanging up over and over before she finally disappeared off the radar.

My boyfriend came back in the room. I held the pager up and asked, "What is _____ doing with your pager number?" That is when he made what could have been a fatal error. He got stubborn and responded, "I can give my pager number to whoever I want to give it to." And that is when I snapped. I leaped up and began to hit him. I was completely unable to stop myself. I just kept hitting him. He would hold me away from him, then let me go, then I would hit him again. This went on for about twenty minutes. He told me later that I hit him harder than any man had ever hit him, that I did damage to his ear drum. To his credit, he never laid a hand on me other than to try to hold me away from him.

I know two things. One - anyone is capable of murder. If circumstances come together just right, you really do just snap. I had never hit anybody in my entire life and would have bet good money that I never would, unless in the defense of my precious child. But the rage I felt in that moment, to discover that he had done to me AGAIN what had caused me so much pain and grief the first time, was overwhelming and hard to describe. If I had been in possession of a gun, I have no doubt that I would have tried to kill him. Two - it is my responsibility to make sure that I am never in a position to snap again!

We continued to see each other for quite a few years, until I found out about one last betrayal that beat them all!!! I won't even go into details here. Suffice it to say that it was enough to sour me on him for a long, long time. But I didn't snap this time! In fact, I sort of saw it coming and was not the least bit surprised. Oh, it still hurt like hell! But I couldn't say I was surprised.

If I could go back to that day when I snapped, I would have walked away from him forever and perhaps opened myself up to something more beautiful. But love will make you do the stupidest of things!!!

My Mother Loves Blue

2009-09-13T17:18:00.000-07:00

She grew up next to the ocean in Norfolk, VA. It seems as if every conversation I have had with her during the last few years has included some reference to the beach or the sea or an ocean voyage. Just today she was telling me about a cruise she is going on with her friend Betty in May 2010. Her favorite painting that hung in her office throughout her entire career features beautiful sand dunes with a hint of blue ocean and blue sky beyond the dunes. When she was 82, I took her on a cruise and we were able to rent a little beach shelter on the cruise line’s private beach day. She wanted to go in the water and I watched as she slowly made her way down to the shoreline. I had offered to walk with her, but she wanted to do it by herself. As soon as the water was up to her ankles though, the sand became too mushy and she lost her balance and plopped down on her bottom. I raced down to the water to help her up. I asked her what she wanted to do, prepared to do anything for her in that moment, even swim into the ocean with her, a prospect that terrified me. I hate the thought of unidentified things brushing against my leg. Too many viewings of Jaws have left me expecting a sudden attack from a Great White Shark. But Mother, embarrassed by her public tumble, wanted to go back to the beach chairs. After a few moments in the chairs, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and confided that her fantasy was to run into the ocean as she had done so many times as a young girl. In her mind, she was still that young girl, running free, unencumbered by age or physical restraints.

My Mother loves blue.

Her favorite ring is a turquoise and sterling silver ring that she bought while visiting her Aunt Ruth in New Mexico back in the 1960’s. If you know her well, you know that she always has that ring on. She has many rings, but wears that one the most. It is a huge ring and her hand is small, but it looks like it belongs there. She also has another ring which features a small aquamarine surrounded by diamonds. She bought it with a portion of the money that she inherited from her mother when she died in the 1970’s. By today’s standards, that ring isn’t all that fancy, but Mother kept it in the safety deposit box at the bank for the longest time, only bringing it out to wear on very special occasions. Now, she simply keeps it in her jewelry box. At some point I told her that she ought to wear that ring every day. Why not enjoy it all the time? But taking the ring out of her jewelry box and putting it on means the occasion is very special and she likes doing it that way.

My Mother loves blue.

Unfortunately, Mother also frequently gets the blues. She suffers from major depression and has throughout her entire life. She takes anti-depressants and does not want to. So every now and then she stops taking them. But eventually another low point will come and she will go back to the medication. But perhaps because she was trained as a counselor, Mother is not the type to be ashamed of being depressed. She served as a kind of poster child for the Mental Health Association of Georgia, the year that the organization featured the illness. She was interviewed and appeared in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution discussing her struggles and even toured around the state doing public speaking engagements. After each trip, she would come back and tell me about whatever group she had spoken to and the interactions that she had after each speech. The stories were very colorful and sometimes quite poignant. I like to imagine that she touched a lot of lives through her frank and unashamed discussions about her own experiences, not just that year, but always. Certainly it helped me!

My Mother loves blue.

When I moved into a new house in 2008, Mother sent me a check to buy some new towels. She says one should always buy new towels at least every other year or so. I went to lots of stores and looked at a lot of towels. My own decorating schemes usually feature jewel tones, but I was curiously drawn to a particular set of blue towels. My master bathroom is devoid of color. The huge walk-in shower is surrounded by glass, so there is no need for a shower curtain. The large picture window has the look of stained glass, but is all just patterns, no color. The towels I kept going back to were a beautiful marine blue. I finally bought them, two bath towels, two hand towels and four wash cloths. Mother always tells me to buy more wash cloths because they don’t last as long. When she came to visit for two months that winter, I gave her the master bedroom because it was on the ground floor and I know how much she hates climbing stairs because of her trick knee. She worries that her knee will give out halfway up or down a flight of stairs and she will fall and break a hip. During the course of many visits to the nursing home where her mother spent her last year of life after breaking a hip, Mother and I had been powerless to prevent her from slowly giving up on life. Mother does not want to repeat that end of life story. When Mother saw those blue towels she exclaimed about how beautiful the color was. I didn’t realize until that moment that I had bought the towels for her.

My Mother loves blue.

Mother is a Blue Devils fan. That’s Duke University, for you plebes who don’t know. Mother roots for Duke during the men’s basketball tournaments every year. Of course she lives in a house with two Duke graduates, so she almost has no choice in the matter. She really struggles when the North Carolina Tarheels, with their powder blue and white uniforms, are in the finals along with Duke. They are her secret favorite. She always experiences relief when one or the other drops out. Duke and Carolina can always be found in her brackets, though, most often fighting a heated battle to the triumphant victory of one or the other of the two. But anyone who knows Mom knows that her favorite sports team is the Atlanta Braves, who don’t sport a speck of blue in their uniforms! Mother is fond of telling people that she has been a fan of the Atlanta Braves since they were the Atlanta Crackers. When she and Daddy were studying at Emory University, Daddy could get in to the games for free because he was clergy. Mother could get in for free on Ladies Night. So they went to a lot of Ladies Nights games.

My Mother loves blue.

But when I think of her, she is a kaleidoscope of colors with her rich life experiences and her broad knowledge of so many subjects. She jokes that she is a jack of all trades, master of none. But that is not really true. She is a well-read and smart woman. She could have done or been anything during the course of her life. She chose to be educator, counselor, missionary, mother, musician, music lover, minister, world traveler, healer, speaker and avid reader. She is many things to many people. She is my greatest critic and my greatest champion. She rescued me when I needed rescuing. She laughs deeply at my stories and antics. She loves me greatly. And I love her. Sometimes I like to think about her as that little girl, on a beach somewhere, running in the surf, arms outstretched, hair flying, legs covered with sand, the smell of sea salt in her nostrils. Each year when I go on vacation, I look for her in the blue ocean, in the blue sky and in every young girl I see running on the beach.