It has been so long since I lived in the Bible Belt, I forgot about certain things. This morning I took a new shortcut to work. I passed by a small church and noticed the sign out front. Lots of churches put clever turns of phrase on their signs. Most of the time the words make me smile. This one didn't. It said, "Have you read my bestseller? I hope so. There will be a test at the end." I suppose failing the test will mean a quick trip to the fires of hell. Sigh.
Then there is the inability to buy beer on Sunday between midnight and 6 p.m. (or something like that). Is buying beer actually a sin? I can consume beer on Sunday - there is no law against that. In fact, if I go to a ballgame on Sunday, it is expected that I will both buy AND consume beer!!! But I better not try that in the grocery store!!! Sigh.
There are so many things that I like about the South. This is really where I prefer to be! But some of this stuff really annoys me!!! But you know what the answer will be if I say any of this out loud. "Go home, Yankee." Unfortunately, I am really not from anywhere, so home is where I hang my hat - if I don't miss the hook on the wall because I have had too many beers and I tripped over the Bible that I really and truly DID mean to read!!!!! Sigh.
I have been in the South long enough that I don't even notice the signs outside churches - unless they are the lit-up electric signs (like the time/temperature signs at banks but larger). At a CHURCH???? Boy, that's tacky.
ReplyDeleteIt's all good.
ReplyDeleteI have an idea for taking your mind off it though. FIELD TRIP! To NYC, to look at our new property on Wall Street!