headline news

"Woman mistaken for monkey shot by neighbor"

It happened in Malaysia, but somehow made the headlines on msn.com. She was in the neighbor's tree picking sapodilla fruits. He saw rustling in his tree, thought it was a monkey and fired a shot into the tree. She will probably recover. He may have to go to prison for two years.

So, I'm just wondering - exactly why is this headline news in the USA?

the incredible shrinking cookie box

When I finally got around to going to the grocery store (which I only did because I desperately needed cat litter), I found myself face-to-face with three little girls begging me to buy some Girl Scout cookies. Begging was not really necessary. I always buy Girl Scout cookies due to a combination of warm memories of my own scouting days and a dangerous addiction to Thin Mints. I am physically incapable of passing a table of Girl Scout cookies, even if the little girls tazed me as I approached. (Suzie! Don't taze me dudette!)

Full disclosure number one: Yesterday, the ten boxes of Thin Mints that I bought from a co-worker in New York City arrived via FedEx. Why he was willing to spend that kind of money on mailing fees is beyond me. I also received a box of Thin Mints as a gift from the receptionist at my office who had heard me whining because another co-worker was distributing her daughter's cookies and I had never been asked if I wanted to buy any. But I have already eaten that box and I stupidly left my ten new boxes at work, so I was delighted to see these girls at the grocery store.

I promised the girls I would buy cookies on my way out and proceeded into the store. After completing my shopping, I came out of the grocery store and went straight to the table displaying the boxes of cookies. Five little girls danced around me in excitement while two mothers stood patiently. The mothers were probably wishing I would buy the whole lot so they could go home. Why are there never any fathers at these tables? I asked the magic question, "How much does each box cost?"

I know what you are thinking. If I buy cookies every year - and I just bought ten boxes, why don't I know how much they cost? Well, I just don't remember what they cost last year, the one box was a gift, and I haven't paid for the ten boxes yet!

Three dollars and fifty cents. Wow! Really? That deserves a picture - or two. (That is rapper 50 Cent, in case you don't recognize him. Now do you get it?)

I sold Girl Scout cookies when I was a little girl. First of all, we wore our uniforms when we appeared in public! We were proud to show our badges and show our affiliation to the whole world! Secondly, I think each box cost seventy-five cents! And I still had trouble selling them all. Finally, if I am remembering correctly, each box contained about two hundred cookies! Okay, it wasn't that many, but I know those boxes were bigger than they are today! The box of Samoas I bought today had 15 cookies in it!

Anyway, I have done the math and I estimate that my granddaughter (who has not yet been born) will be selling a box containing one cookie for the reasonable price of $4,228.00. By publication of this blog entry, I am advising my childless siblings to begin saving their money now.

Full disclosure number two: I ate 7 Samoas while I was writing this.