five fears

1. Alligators. I have no idea when this became a thing for me. I've always had a vivid imagination. My ability to supply awful detail to every potential tragedy means that I have about two hundred potential imagined scenarios in which I am snatched by an alligator, drowned and eaten for lunch. Last year when we were looking at a possible relocation to Miami, we fell in love with a rental property on a canal. I told the real estate agent about my morbid fear of alligators. He said, "It's Florida. You're on the water. There are gators. But they're more likely to snatch your dogs." Nope! Couldn't do it!

2. Dying alone. I have no doubt there will be people around me if I die of cancer or old age. But I live alone. So I imagine a slip and fall at the beginning of three days off. I don't always answer my phone. How long would it take for someone to come check on me? Again, my imagination is not my friend.

3. Donald Trump as our president. Yikes! No imagination is necessary. He says it all. Terrifying.

4. The number four. In Japan, the number four is viewed in the same way we view the number thirteen. The character for four sounds like the character for death. Some buildings don't have a fourth floor. Maternity wards in hospitals avoid the number four. I somehow internalized this during my early childhood in Japan.

5. Schroedinger's Rapist. Every man is not a rapist. Most men are not rapists. As women, we can't tell by looking who is and who isn't. Therefore, caution is a necessary evil. And the fear is very real.

I have other fears that aren't quite as prominent. My imagination provides me with endless opportunities to be afraid. The fact that I step out into the world is sufficient proof to me that I'm brave. But you will notice, I'm sure, that there are very few alligators in Phoenix. Or in Canada, if Trump is elected!