Monday, May 30, 2016

one thing I'm excited for

My son is moving out to Phoenix. He'll arrive in five days. I've missed him! I moved back out here in 2013. We've seen each other only once since then, when we attended a reunion together. But we talk several times a week. I'm lucky that we're close. I talk to other mothers who tell me they almost never hear from their sons.

Throughout his childhood, people kept warning me, "A son is a son until he takes a wife. A daughter is a daughter for the rest of your life." I never believed it. I saw no evidence of that in my own extended family. I knew many devoted sons. And among my friends, there were many men who are also close to their mothers. So I think that statement would only be true if the son married the wrong woman. The right woman would foster that mother/son bond, even if she and her mother-in-law weren't close.

All good parents balance letting go with being available if their adult child needs them. My son has done things that terrified me. Kayaking down treacherous rapids, mountain biking, playing the stock market - he enjoys risk and thrill. I have to work really hard to express joy over some of his choices. Sometimes I feel like my heart is going to explode from fear. But I really am so glad that he celebrates life in so many ways.

At the library where I work, we're celebrating the 50 year anniversary of Maurice Sendak's Where the Wild Things Are. That story tells me that no matter where my son goes, he'll always come back, especially if I cook something good to eat!

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